The World in a Grain of Sand
by solara107
Summary: After Bella's cliff diving, Carlisle comes to check on her instead of Alice.  Bella's experience in Volterra changes everything, especially her relationship with Carlisle Cullen.  The first few chapters are from the book, with some changes.
1. Chapter 1: A Different Visitor

So, first order of business. I'm not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own Twilight. I borrowed a lot from New Moon for this chapter, and probably will for the first few chapters. After that, it will be entirely mine. I'm really sorry if my writing clashes with Stephenie Meyer's. I tried to blend in my changes. After I'm done with borrowing from the books, my chapters won't be nearly as long. I don't think any of the other chapters will be this long actually. Also, if you've read my other stories, I'm really sorry I haven't updated in forever. Life got in the way. I will update at least once before the 30th. Enjoy! This'll be the only time an AN is at the beginning.

**

* * *

**

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 1 – A Different Visitor

* * *

"Stop!" I gasped.

It was a black car – a car I knew. I might be the furthest thing from an autophile, but I could tell you everything about that particular car. It was a Mercedes S55 AMG. I knew the horsepower and the color of the interior. I knew the feel of the powerful engine purring through the frame. I knew the rich smell of the leather seats and the way the extra-dark tint made noon look like dusk through those windows.

It was Carlisle's car.

"Stop!" I cried again, louder this time, because Jacob was gunning the truck down the street.

"What?"

"It's not Victoria. Stop, stop! I want to go back."

He stomped on the brake so hard I had to catch myself against the dashboard.

"What?" he asked again, aghast. He stared at me with horror in his eyes.

"It's Carlisle's car! It's the Cullens. I know it."

He watched dawn break across my face, and a violent tremor rocked his frame.

"Hey, calm down, Jake. It's okay. No danger, see? Relax."

"Yeah, calm," he panted, putting his head down and closing his eyes. While he concentrated not exploding into a wolf, I stared out the back window at the black car.

It was just Carlisle, I told myself. Don't except anything more. Maybe Esme . . . Stop right there, I told myself. Just Carlisle. That was plenty. More than I'd ever hope to have again.

"There's a vampire in your house," Jacob hissed. "And you want to go back?"

I glanced at him, ripping my unwilling eyes off the Mercedes — terrified that it would disappear the second I looked away.

"Of course," I said, my voice blank with surprise at his question. Of course I wanted to go back.

Jacob's face hardened while I stared at him, congealing into the bitter mask that I'd thought was gone for good. Just before he had that mask into place, I caught the spasm of betrayal that flashed in his eyes. His hands were still shaking. He looked ten years older than me.

He took a deep breath. "You're sure it's not a trick?" he asked in a slow, heavy voice.

"It's not a trick. It's Carlisle. Take me back!"

A shudder rippled through his wide shoulders, but his eyes were flat and emotionless. "No."

"Jake, it's okay —"

"No. Take yourself back, Bella." His voice was a slap—I flinched and the sound of it struck me. His jaw clenched and unclenched.

"Look, Bella," he said in the same hard voice. "I can't go back. Treaty or no treaty, that's my enemy in there."

"It's not like that—"

"I have to tell Sam right away. This changes things. We can't be caught on their territory."

"Jake, it's not a war!"

He didn't listen. He put the truck back in neutral and jumped out the door, leaving it running.

"Bye, Bella," he called back over his shoulder. "I really hope you don't die." He sprinted into the darkness, shaking so hard that his shape seemed blurred; he disappeared before I could open my mouth to call him back.

Remorse pinned me against the seat for one long second. What had I just done to Jacob?

But remorse couldn't hold me very long.

I slid across the seat and put the truck back in drive. My hands were shaking almost as hard as Jake's had been, and this took a minute of concentration. Then I carefully turned the truck around and drove it back to my house.

It was very dark when I turned off the headlights. Charlie had left in such a hurry that he'd forgotten to leave the porch lamp on. I felt a pang of doubt, staring at the house, deep in shadow. What if it _was _a trick?

I looked back at the black car, almost invisible in the night. No. I knew that car.

Still, my hands were shaking even worse than before as I reached for the key above the door.

When I grabbed the doorknob to unlock it, it twisted easily under my hand. I let the door fall open. The hallway was black.

I wanted to call out a greeting, but my throat was too dry. I couldn't quite seem to catch my breath.

I took a step inside and fumbled for the light switch. It was so black–like the black water…

Where was that switch?

Just like the black water, with the orange flame flickering impossibly on top of it. Flame that couldn't be a fire, but what then… ? My fingers traced the wall, still searching, still shaking–

Suddenly, something Jacob had told me this afternoon echoed in my head, finally sinking in… _She took off into the water_, he'd said. _The bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That's why I raced home_–_I was afraid she was going to double back swimming_.

My hand froze in its searching, my whole body froze into place, as I realized why I recognized the strange orange color on the water.

Victoria's hair, blowing wild in the wind, the color of fire…

She'd been right there. Right there in the harbor with me and Jacob.

If Sam hadn't been there, if it had been just the two of us… ? I couldn't breathe or move.

The light flicked on, though my frozen hand had still not found the switch.

I blinked into the sudden light, and saw that someone was there, waiting for me.

Unnaturally still and white, with large black eyes intent on my face, my visitor waited perfectly motionless in the center of the halt, beautiful beyond imagining.

My knees trembled for a second, and I nearly fell. Then I hurled myself at him.

"Carlisle!" I cried, as I slammed into him.

I'd forgotten how _hard _they all were; it was like running headlong into a wall of cement.

"Bella?" There was a strange mingling of relief and confusion in his voice.

I locked my arms around him, gasping to inhale as much of the scent of him as possible. My memory hadn't done it justice.

I didn't notice when the gasping turned into something else–I only realized I was sobbing when Carlisle dragged me to the living room couch and pulled me next to him. He rubbed my back in a gentle rhythm, waiting for me to get control of myself.

"I'm… sorry," I blubbered. "I'm just… so happy… to see you!"

"It's okay, Bella. Everything's okay."

"Yes," I bawled. And, for once, it seemed that way.

Carlisle sighed. "I'd forgotten how exuberant you are," she said.

His eyes were black as pitch.

"Oh," I puffed, as I realized the problem. He was thirsty.

"It's my own fault. It's been too long since I hunted. But I was in a hurry today." The look he directed at me then was a glare. "Speaking of which, would you like to explain to me how you're alive?"

That brought me up short and stopped the sobs. I realized what must have happened immediately, and why Carlisle was here.

I swallowed loudly. "Alice saw me fall."

"No," he disagreed. "She saw you _jump_."

I pursed my lips as I tried to think of an explanation that wouldn't sound nuts.

Carlisle shook his head. "I told him this would happen."

"Even if she's not looking, doesn't mean she won't _see" _he went on.

"She wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, Bella.

When she saw you jumping, I didn't think, I just got on a plane. I knew I would be too late, but I couldn't do _nothing_. And then I get here, thinking maybe I could help Charlie somehow, and you drive up."

He looked me directly in the eye and his next words were very quiet, "I don't think I have been as relieved in my entire existence as when I saw you walk through that door. I have to ask you though, what on earth were you thinking?"

"Carlisle, I wasn't committing suicide."

He eyed me dubiously. "Are you saying you didn't jump off a cliff?"

"No, but…" I grimaced. "It was for recreational purposes only."

"I'd seen some of Jacob's friend's cliff diving," I insisted. "It looked like… fun, and I was bored…"

He waited.

"I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents. Actually, I didn't think about the water much at all."

Carlisle didn't buy it. I could see that he still thought I had been trying to kill myself. I decided to redirect. "So if Alice saw me go in, why didn't she see Jacob?"

He cocked her head to the side, distracted. I continued. "It's true that I probably would have drowned if Jacob hadn't jumped in after me.

Well, okay, there's no probably about it. But he did, and he pulled me out, and I guess he towed me back to shore, though I was kind of out for that part. It couldn't have been more than a minute that I was under before he grabbed me. How come she didn't see that?"

He frowned in perplexity. "Someone pulled you out?"

"Yes. Jacob saved me."

I watched curiously as an enigmatic range of emotions flitted across his face. Something was bothering him–Alice's imperfect vision? But I wasn't sure. Then he deliberately leaned in and sniffed my shoulder.

I froze.

"It appears that the Quileutes have started phasing again. I had thought that the gene died out. Which boy was it?" He asked, serenely calm as usual.

"Jacob Black. He's… sort of my best friend, I guess. At least, he was…" I thought of Jacob's angry, betrayed face, and wondered what he was to me now.

Carlisle nodded, seeming preoccupied.

"What?"

"I have a theory," he said. "I'm not sure if I'm correct though."

"Well, I'm not dead, at least."

He rolled his eyes. "He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy."

"I survived," I pointed out.

"Only thanks to Jacob."

"Why were you smelling me earlier?" I asked, extremely curious.

"You smell awful, like wet dog. It's what werewolves smell like to us. How long have they been phasing?" he said absently.

"Not long," I said, my voice sounding defensive. "He's only been a werewolf for just a few weeks."

He looked at me. "A _young _werewolf? They are not known for their control or restraint."

"There's nothing wrong with werewolves," I grumbled, stung by his critical tone.

"Until they lose their tempers." he shook his head.

I didn't want to argue with Carlisle–I was still trembling with joy that he was really, truly here, that I could touch his marble skin and hear his calm voice–but he had it all wrong.

"The vampires didn't really leave–not all of them, anyway. That's the whole trouble. If it weren't for the werewolves, Victoria would have gotten me by now. Well, if it weren't for Jake and his friends, Laurent would have gotten me before she could, I guess, so–"

"Victoria?" he hissed. "Laurent?"

I nodded. I pointed at my chest.

"Danger magnet, remember?"

He shook his head again. "Tell me everything–start at the beginning."

I glossed over the beginning, skipping the motorcycles and the voices, but telling him everything else right up to today's misadventure. Carlisle didn't like my thin explanation about boredom and the cliffs, so I hurried on to the strange flame I'd seen on the water and what I thought it meant. His eyes narrowed almost to slits at that part. It was strange to see him look so… so dangerous–like a vampire.

I swallowed hard and went on with the rest about Harry.

He listened to my story without interrupting. Occasionally, he would shake his head, and the crease in his forehead deepened until it looked like it was carved permanently into the marble of his skin. He didn't speak and, finally, I fell quiet, struck again by the borrowed grief at Harry's passing. I thought of Charlie; he would be home soon. What condition would he be in?

"Our leaving didn't do you any good at all, did it?" Carlisle murmured.

I laughed once–it was a slightly hysterical sound. "That was never the point, though, was it? It's not like you left for my benefit."

Carlisle looked at the floor for a moment. "Well… I guess I acted impulsively today. I probably shouldn't have intruded."

I could feel the blood draining from my face. My stomach dropped. "Don't go, Carlisle," I whispered. My fingers locked around the collar of his white shirt and I began to hyperventilate. "Please don't leave me."

His eyes opened wider. "All right," he said, enunciating each word with slow precision. "I'm not going to leave Forks tonight. Take a deep breath."

I tried to obey, though I couldn't quite locate my lungs.

He watched my face while I concentrated on my breathing. He waited till I was calmer to comment.

"You look horrible, Bella."

"I drowned today," I reminded him.

"It goes deeper than that. You're a mess."

I flinched. "Look, I'm doing my best."

"What do you mean?"

"It hasn't been easy. I'm working on it."

He frowned. "I told him," he said to himself.

"Carlisle," I sighed. "What did you think you were going to find? I mean, besides me dead? Did you expect to find me skipping around and whistling show tunes? You know me better than that."

"I do. But I hoped."

"Then I guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market."

The phone rang.

"That has to be Charlie," I said, staggering to my feet. I grabbed Carlisle's stone hand and dragged him with me to the kitchen. I wasn't about to let him out of my sight.

"Charlie?" I answered the phone.

"No, it's me," Jacob said.

"Jake!"

Carlisle scrutinized my expression.

"Just making sure you were still alive," Jacob said sourly.

"I'm fine. I told you that it wasn't–"

"Yeah. I got it. 'Bye."

Jacob hung up on me.

I sighed and let my head hang back, staring at the ceiling. "That's going to be a problem."

Carlisle squeezed my hand. "They aren't excited I'm here."

"Not especially. But it's none of their business anyway."

"I think a hot shower might help. The water must have been very cold." he mused. He seemed to talk to himself for a moment. "Things to do. Loose ends to tie."

"What things to do?"

His face was suddenly careful. "I don't know for sure… I need to see Esme."

Would he leave so soon? My stomach dropped.

"Could you stay?" I begged. "Please? For just a little while. I've missed you so much." My voice broke.

"If you think that's a good idea." His eyes were unhappy.

"I do."

"I think it would be a good idea for me to hunt. Will you be alright for one hour?" he asked, concerned.

"You'll come back?" I asked in a small voice.

"I promise–one hour."

I glanced at the clock over the kitchen table. He laughed and leaned in quickly to give me a hug. Then he was gone. I took a deep breath. Carlisle would be back. I suddenly felt so much better. I had plenty to do to keep myself busy while I waited. A shower was definitely first on the agenda. I sniffed my shoulders as I undressed, but I couldn't smell anything but the brine and seaweed scent of the ocean.

When I was cleaned up, I went back to the kitchen. I couldn't see any signs that Charlie 'lad eaten recently, and he would probably be hungry when he got back. I hummed tunelessly to myself as I moved around the kitchen. While Thursday's casserole rotated in the microwave, I was careful not to watch the clock. I hurried through my dinner, not tasting it–just feeling the ache as it slid down my raw throat.

Mostly I was thirsty; I must have drunk a half gallon of water by the time I was finished. All the salt in my system had dehydrated me.

I went to go try to watch TV while I waited.

Carlisle was already there, sitting on the couch. His eyes were a liquid butterscotch.

"You're early," I said, elated.

I sat down next to him.

"Bella. What _are _we going to do with you?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I really have been trying my hardest."

"I believe you."

It was silent.

"Does–does he…" I took a deep breath. It was harder to say his name out loud, even though

I was able to think it now. "Does Edward know you're here?" I couldn't help asking. It was my pain, after all. I'd deal with it when he was gone, I promised myself, and felt sick at the thought.

"No."

There was only one way that could be true. "He's not with the others?"

"He checks in every few months."

"Oh." He must still be out enjoying his distractions. I focused my curiosity on a safer topic.

"You said you flew here… Where did you come from?"

"I was in Denali. Visiting Tanya's family."

"Is Esme here? Did she come with your'"

He shook his head. "He didn't approve of my interfering. We promised…" he trailed off, and then his tone changed. "And you think Charlie won't mind my staying here for a few hours?" he asked, sounding worried.

"Charlie thinks you're wonderful, Carlisle."

"Well, we're about to find out."

Sure enough, a few seconds later I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway. I jumped up and hurried to open the door.

Charlie trudged slowly up the walk, his eyes on the ground and his shoulders slumped. I walked forward to meet him; he didn't even see me until I hugged him around the waist. He embraced me back fiercely.

"I'm so sorry about Harry, Dad."

"I'm really going to miss him," Charlie mumbled.

"How's Sue doing?"

"She seems dazed, like she hasn't grasped it yet. Sam's staying with her…" The volume of his voice faded in and out. "Those poor kids. Leah's just a year older than you, and Seth is only fourteen…" He shook his head.

He kept his arms tight around me as he started toward the door again.

"Um, Dad?" I figured I'd better warn him. "You'll never guess who's here."

He looked at me blankly. His head swiveled around, and he spied the Mercedes across the street, the porch light reflecting off the glossy black paint. Before he could react, Carlisle was in the doorway.

"Hello, Chief Swan," he said in a subdued voice. "I'm sorry I came at such a bad time."

"Dr. Cullen?" he peered at the slight figure in front of him as if he doubted what his eyes were telling him. "Is that you?"

"It's me. Please call me Carlisle." he confirmed. "I was picking something up from the house and I thought I would come by and see how you and Bella were."

"Call me Charlie then. Is your wife…?"

"No, I'm alone."

Both Carlisle and I knew he wasn't really asking about Esme. His arm tightened over my shoulder.

"I suppose I should leave, it's getting rather late. It was nice to see you both again." Carlisle said as he made his way toward the car.

"He can come by tomorrow, can't he?" I pleaded. "I already asked him."

"Of course," Charlie said mechanically. "We'd love to have you, Dr. Cul ─ Carlisle."

"Thank you, Charlie. I know it's horrid timing."

"No, it's fine, really. I'm going to be really busy doing what I can for Harry's family; it will be nice for Bella to have some company."

"There's dinner for you on the table, Dad," I told him.

"Thanks, Bell." He gave me one more squeeze before he shuffled toward the kitchen.

Carlisle stood there a moment, then spoke quietly to me.

"I don't think it's safe for you to be unprotected at the moment, so I will be back after I take back the car. Would you prefer me to stay in the forest nearby, or will you be alright with me staying in the tree next to your window?

"I don't mind. I'll leave my window open so you won't have to stay outside all night." I said, looking at him. He nodded got in the car. I watched as he drove down the street. I turned and went inside the house.

"I've already eaten and I'm really tired. I'm going to go ahead and go to bed Dad." I say as I head to the stairs.

"Okay Bells. Goodnight." Charlie says as he's heading over to the TV. I go up upstairs to my room and open the window. I decide that I need something to pass the time, so I take my toothbrush and toothpaste to the bathroom and spend the next five minutes brushing my teeth. After deciding that I really can't spend any more time on that, I head to my room and wait for Carlisle.

As I laid down I started to dose off. I didn't want to sleep. I wanted to stay up all night talking to Carlisle. And it didn't make sense for me to be tired, what with crashing on Jacob's couch all day.

But drowning really _had _taken a lot out of me, and my eyes wouldn't stay open. I rested my head on her stone shoulder, and drifted into a more peaceful oblivion than I had any hope of.

I woke early, from a deep and dreamless sleep feeling well-rested. I could hear voices from the kitchen, but I couldn't quite make out what was being said. I decided to head downstairs and see what was going on, but as I got to the top of the stairs, something made me stop. I saw Carlisle and Charlie talking in the kitchen. It sounded like Charlie was fixing him breakfast.

"How bad was it, Charlie?" Carlisle asked softly, and at first I thought they were talking about the Clearwaters.

Charlie sighed. "Real bad."

"Tell me about it. I want to know exactly what happened when we left."

There was a pause while a cupboard door was closed and a dial on the stove was clicked off. I waited, cringing.

"I've never felt so helpless," Charlie began slowly. "I didn't know what to do. That first week–I thought I was going to have to hospitalize her. She wouldn't eat or drink, she wouldn't move. Dr. Gerandy was throwing around words like 'catatonic,' but I didn't let him up to see her. I was afraid it would scare her."

"She snapped out of it though?"

"I had Renee come to take her to Florida. I just didn't want to be the one… if she had to go to a hospital or something. I hoped being with her mother would help. But when we started packing her clothes, she woke up with a vengeance. I've never seen Bella throw a fit like that. She was never one for the tantrums, but, boy, did she fly into a fury. She threw her clothes everywhere and screamed that we couldn't make her leave–and then she finally started crying. I thought that would be the turning point. I didn't argue when she insisted on staying here… and she did seem to get better at first…"

Charlie trailed off. It was hard listening to this, knowing how much pain I'd caused him.

"But?" Carlisle prompted.

"She went back to school and work, she ate and slept and did her homework. She answered when someone asked her a direct question. But she was… empty. Her eyes were blank. There were lots of little things–she wouldn't listen to music anymore; I found a bunch of CDs broken in the trash. She didn't read; she wouldn't be in the same room when the TV was on, not that she watched it so much before. I finally figured it out–she was avoiding everything that might remind her of… him.

"We could hardly talk; I was so worried about saying something that would upset her–the littlest things would make her flinch–and she never volunteered anything. She would just answer if I asked her something.

"She was alone all the time. She didn't call her friends back, and after a while, they stopped calling. It was night of the living dead around here. I still hear her screaming in her sleep…"

I could almost see him shuddering. I shuddered, too, remembering. And then I sighed. I hadn't fooled him at all, not for one second.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie," Carlisle said, voice somber.

"It's not _your _fault." The way he said it made it perfectly clear that he was holding someone responsible.

"You were always good to her."

"She seems better now, though."

"Yeah. Ever since she started hanging out with Jacob Black, I've noticed a real improvement. She has some color in her cheeks when she comes home, some light in her eyes. She's happier." He paused, and his voice was different when he spoke again. "He's a year or so younger than her, and I know she used to think of him as a friend, but I think maybe it's something more now, or headed that direction, anyway." Charlie said this in a tone that was almost belligerent. It was a warning, not for Carlisle, but for him to pass along.

"Jake's old for his years," he continued, still sounding defensive. "He's taken care of his father physically the way Bella took care of her mother emotionally. It matured him. He's a good-looking kid, too–takes after his mom's side.

He's good for Bella, you know," Charlie insisted.

"Then it's good she has him," Carlisle agreed.

Charlie sighed out a big gust of air, folding quickly to the lack of opposition. "Okay, so I guess that's overstating things. I don't know… even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and I wonder if I've ever grasped how much pain she's really in It's not normal, Carlisle, and it… it frightens me. Not normal at all. Not like someone… left her, but like someone died." His voice cracked.

It _was _like someone had died–like _I _had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest of true loves, as if that were not enough to kill anyone. It was also losing a whole future, a whole family–the whole life that I'd chosen…

Charlie went on in a hopeless tone. "I don't know if she's going to get over it–I'm not sure if it's in her nature to heal from something like this. She's always been such a constant little thing. She doesn't get past things, change her mind."

"She's one of a kind," Carlisle agreed in a dry voice.

"And Carlisle…" Charlie hesitated. "Now, you know I think highly of you, and I can tell that she's happy to see you, but… I'm a little worried about what your visit will do to her."

"So am I, Charlie, so am I. I wouldn't have come if I'd had any idea. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Who knows? Maybe it will be good for her."

"I hope you're right."

There was a long break while forks scraped plates and Charlie chewed. I wondered where Carlisle was hiding the food.

"Carlisle, I have to ask you something," Charlie said awkwardly.

Carlisle was calm. "Go ahead."

"He's not coming back to visit, too, is he?" I could hear the suppressed anger in Charlie's voice.

Carlisle answered in a soft, reassuring tone. "He doesn't even know I'm here. The last time I spoke with him, he was in South America."

I stiffened as I heard this new information, and listened harder.

"Well, I hope he's enjoying himself."

For the first time, Carlisle's voice had a bit of steel in it. "I wouldn't make assumptions, Charlie."

A chair scooted from the table, scraping loudly across the floor. I pictured Charlie getting up; there was no way Carlisle would make that kind of noise. The faucet ran, splashing against a dish.

It didn't sound like they were going to say anything more about Edward, so I decided it was time to go eat.

I almost stomped on the first couple steps to make my presence known, and then continued at a normal pace the rest of the way down the stairs. I had made it to the last step when I tripped. Carlisle, thankfully, was the closest to the stairs and caught me in his arms right before I hit the ground.

I looked into his eyes for a second, but that one second felt like eternity. He set me right side up and asked if I had hurt anything when I tripped. I told him that I was fine. I went over to Charlie and gave him a hug, then grabbed left over piece of toast.

Charlie had to leave then–he was helping Sue Clearwater with the funeral arrangements. It would have been a very long day without Carlisle. He never spoke about leaving, and I didn't ask him. I knew it was inevitable, but I put it out of my mind.

Instead, we talked about his family–all but one.

Esme was restoring a seventeenth century house, a historical monument, in the forest north of the city. Emmett and Rosalie had gone to Europe for a few months on another honeymoon, but they were back now. Jasper was at Cornell, too, studying philosophy this time.

And Alice had been doing some personal research, concerning the information I'd accidentally uncovered for her last spring. She'd successfully tracked down the asylum where she'd spent the last years of her human life. The life she had no memory of.

"Her name was Mary Alice Brandon," he told me quietly. "She had a little sister named Cynthia. Her daughter–Alice's niece–is still alive in Biloxi."

"Did she find out why they put her in… that place?" What would drive parents to that extreme? Even if their daughter saw visions of the future…

He just shook his head, his topaz eyes thoughtful. "She couldn't find much about them. She went through all the old newspapers on microfiche. Her family wasn't mentioned often; they weren't part of the social circle that made the papers. Her parents' engagement was there, and Cynthia's. Her birth was announced… and her death. She found her grave. She also filched her admissions sheet from the old asylum archives. The date on the admission and the date on her tombstone are the same."

I didn't know what to say, and, after a short pause, Carlisle moved on to lighter topics.

The Cullens were reassembled now, with the one exception, spending Cornell's spring break in Denali with Tanya and her family. I listened too eagerly to even the most trivial news. He never mentioned the one I was most interested in, and for that I was grateful. It was enough to listen to the stories of the family I'd once dreamed of belonging to.

Charlie didn't get back until after dark, and he looked more worn than he had the night before. He would be headed back to the reservation first thing in the morning for Harry's funeral, so he turned in early.

Charlie was almost a stranger when he came down the stairs before the sun was up, wearing an old suit I'd never seen him in before. The jacket hung open; I guessed it was too tight to fasten the buttons.

His tie was a bit wide for the current style. He tiptoed to the door, trying not to wake us up. I let him go, pretending to sleep.

As soon as he was out the door, Carlisle and I walked downstairs.

"Is there anything you were planning on doing today?" he asked.

"I don't know. I didn't have anything specific in mind."

All the time I'd been spending in La Push meant a pile of things I'd been neglecting at home, and I decided to catch up on my chores. I wanted to do something, anything that might make life easier for Charlie–maybe it would make him feel just a little better to come home to a clean, organized house. I started with the bathroom–it showed the most signs of neglect.

When I started working, Carlisle asked if he could help. I gave him a couple things to do. After a few minutes of quietly working, he started up a conversation about what I had read for English this year.

His face stayed casual and emotionless, but I sensed his disapproval when he realized how little I could tell him. Or maybe I just had a guilty conscience after eavesdropping on his conversation with Charlie yesterday morning.

I was literally up to my elbows in Comet, scrubbing the floor of the bathtub, when the doorbell rang.

"Hold on!" I shouted in the general direction of the front door, getting up and hurrying to the sink to rinse my arms off.

"Bella," Carlisle said with a trace of concern in his voice, "I have a fairly good guess who that might be, and I think I'd better step out."

"Guess?" I echoed.

"I can smell wet dog, even with all of the cleaning supplies, it's most likely Jacob Black or one of his… friends."

"You don't have go anywhere, Carlisle. You were here first."

"Trust me–it wouldn't be a good idea to have me and Jacob Black in a room together." He calmly told me–but his voice had a dark edge.

He vanished through Charlie's door–and out his back window, no doubt.

The doorbell rang again.


	2. Chapter 2: Onto Italy

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 2 – Onto Italy

* * *

_"Trust me–it wouldn't be a good idea to have me and Jacob Black in a room together." He calmly told me–but his voice had a dark edge._

_He vanished through Charlie's door–and out his back window, no doubt._

_The doorbell rang again._

I sprinted down the stairs and threw the door open.

It was Jacob, of course.

He was standing about six feet back from the door, his nose wrinkled in distaste, but his face otherwise smooth–masklike. He didn't fool me; I could see the faint trembling of his hands.

Hostility rolled off of him in waves. It brought back that awful afternoon when he'd chosen Sam over me, and I felt my chin jerk up defensively in response.

Jacob's Rabbit idled by the curb with Jared behind the wheel and Embry in the passenger seat. I understood what this meant: they were afraid to let him come here alone.

It made me sad, and a little annoyed. The Cullens weren't like that.

"Hey," I finally said when he didn't speak.

Jake pursed his lips, still hanging back from the door. His eyes flickered across the front of the house.

I ground my teeth. "He's not here. Do you need something?"

He hesitated. "You're alone?"

"Yes." I sighed.

"Can I talk to you a minute?"

"_Of course _you can, Jacob. Come on in."

Jacob glanced over his shoulder at his friends in the car. I saw Embry shake his head just a tiny bit. For some reason, this bugged me to no end.

My teeth clenched together again. "_Chicken." _I mumbled under my breath.

Jake's eyes flashed back to me, his thick, black brows pushing into a furious angle over his deep-set eyes. His jaw set, and he marched–there was no other way to describe the way he moved–up the sidewalk and shrugged past me into the house.

I locked gazes with first Jared and then Embry–I didn't like the hard way they eyed me; did they really think I would let anything hurt Jacob?–before I shut the door on them. Jacob was in the hall behind me.

He wrinkled his nose again like he smelled something unpleasant. "Where's your 'friend'?" I could hear the quotation marks in his tone.

"He had some errands to run. Look, Jacob, what do you want?"

Something about the room seemed to make him edgier–his long arms were quivering. He didn't answer my question. Instead he moved on to the kitchen, his restless eyes darting everywhere.

Jacob shrugged. „Hunter instinct."

I followed him. He paced back and forth along the short counter.

"Hey," I said, putting myself in his way. He stopped pacing and stared down at me. "What's your problem?"

"I don't like having to be here."

That stung. I winced, and his eyes tightened.

"Then I'm sorry you had to come," I muttered. "Why don't you tell me what you need so you can leave?"

"I just have to ask you a couple of questions. It shouldn't take long. We have to get back for the funeral."

"Okay. Get it over with then." I was probably overdoing it with the antagonism, but I didn't want him to see how much this hurt. I knew I wasn't being fair. After all, I'd picked the _bloodsucker _over him last night. I'd hurt him first.

He took a deep breath, and his trembling fingers were suddenly still. His face smoothed into a serene mask.

"One of the Cullens is staying here with you," he stated.

"Yes. Carlisle Cullen has been keeping watch since you can't while he's here."

He nodded thoughtfully.

"How long is he here for?"

"As long as he wants to be." The belligerence was still there in my tone. "It's an open invitation."

"Do you think you could… please… explain to him about the other one–Victoria?"

I paled. "I told him about that."

He nodded. "You should know that we can only watch our own lands with a Cullen here. You'll only be safe in La Push. I can't protect you here anymore."

"Okay," I said in a small voice.

He looked away then, out the back windows. He didn't continue.

"Is that all?"

He kept his eyes on the glass as he answered. "Just one more thing."

I waited, but he didn't continue. "Yes?" I finally prompted.

"Are the rest of them coming back now?" he asked in a cool, quiet voice. It reminded me of Sam's always calm manner. Jacob was becoming more like Sam… I wondered why that bothered me so much.

Now _I _didn't speak. He looked back at my face with probing eyes.

"Well?" he asked. He struggled to conceal the tension behind his serene expression.

"No." I said finally. Grudgingly. "They aren't coming back."

His expression didn't change. "Okay. That's all."

I glared at him, annoyance rekindled. "Well, run along now. Go tell Sam that the scary monsters aren't coming to get you."

"Okay," he repeated, still calm.

That seemed to be it. Jacob walked swiftly from the kitchen. I waited to hear the front door open, but I heard nothing. I could hear the clock over the stove ticking, and I marveled again at how quiet he'd become.

What a disaster. How could I have alienated him so completely in such a short amount of time?

Would he forgive me when Carlisle was gone? What if he didn't?

I slumped against the counter and buried my face in my hands. How had I made such a mess of everything? But what could I have done differently? Even in hindsight, I couldn't think of any better way, any perfect course of action.

"Bella…?" Jacob asked in a troubled voice.

I pulled my face out of my hands to see Jacob hesitating in the kitchen doorway; he hadn't left when I'd thought.

It was only when I saw the clear drops sparkling in my hands that I realized I was crying.

Jacob's calm expression was gone; his face was anxious and unsure. He walked quickly back to stand in front of me, ducking his head so that his eyes were closer to being on the same level with mine.

"Did it again, didn't I?"

"Did what?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Broke my promise. Sorry."

"'S'okay," I mumbled. "I started it this time."

His face twisted. "I knew how you felt about them. It shouldn't have taken me by surprise like that."

I could see the revulsion in his eyes. I wanted to explain to him what Alice was really like, to defend her against the judgments he'd made, but something warned me that now was not the time.

So I just said, "Sorry," again.

"Let's not worry about it, okay? He's just visiting, right? He'll leave, and things will go back to normal."

"Can't I be friends with you both at the same time?" I asked, my voice not hiding an ounce of the hurt I felt.

He shook his head slowly. "No, I don't think you can."

I sniffed and stared at his big feet. "But you'll wait, right? You'll still be my friend, even though I like Carlisle, too?"

I didn't look up, afraid to see what he'd think of that last part. It took him a minute to answer, so I was probably right not to look.

"Yeah, I'll always be your friend," he said gruffly. "No matter what you like."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I felt his arms wind around me, and I leaned against his chest, still sniffling. "This sucks."

"Yeah." Then he sniffed my hair and said, "Ew."

"_What_?" I demanded. I looked up to see that his nose was wrinkled again. "Why does everyone keep doing that to me? I don't smell!"

He smiled a little. "Yes, you do–you smell like _them_. Bleh. Too sweet–sickly sweet. And… icy. It burns my nose."

"Really?" That was strange. Carlisle smelled unbelievably wonderful. To a human, anyway.

"But why would Carlisle think I smelled, too, then?"

That wiped his smile away. "Huh. Maybe I don't smell so good to him, either. Huh."

"Well, you both smell fine to me." I rested my head against him again. I was _going _to miss him terribly when he walked out my door. It was a nasty catch-22–on the one hand, I wanted Carlisle to stay forever. I was going to die–metaphorically–when he left me. But how was I supposed to go without seeing Jake for any length of time? _What a mess_, I thought again.

"I'll miss you," Jacob whispered, echoing my thoughts. "Every minute. I hope he leaves soon."

"It really doesn't have to be that way, Jake."

He sighed. "Yes, it really does. Bella. You… like him. So I'd better not get anywhere near her. I'm not sure that I'm even-tempered enough to handle that. Sam would be mad if I broke the treaty, and"–his voice turned sarcastic–"you probably wouldn't like it too much if I killed your friend."

I recoiled from him when he said that, but he only tightened his arms, refusing to let me escape. "There's no point in avoiding the truth. That's the way things are, Bells."

"I do _not _like the way things are."

Jacob freed one arm so that he could cup his big brown hand under my chin and make me look at him. "Yeah. It was easier when we were both human, wasn't it?"

I sighed.

We stared at each other for a long moment. His hand smoldered against my skin. In my face, I knew there was nothing but wistful sadness–I didn't want to have to say goodbye now, no matter for how short a time. At first his face reflected mine, but then, as neither of us looked away, his expression changed.

He released me, lifting his other hand to brush his fingertips along my cheek, trailing them down to my jaw. I could feel his fingers tremble–not with anger this time. He pressed his palm against my cheek, so that my face was trapped between his burning hands.

"Bella," he whispered.

I was frozen.

No! I hadn't made this decision yet. I didn't know if I could do this, and now I was out of time to think. But I would have been a fool if I thought rejecting him now would have no consequences.

I stared back at him. He was not _my _Jacob, but he could be. His face was familiar and beloved. In so many real ways, I did love him. He was my comfort, my safe harbor. Right now, I could choose to have him belong to me.

Carlisle was back for the moment, but that changed nothing. True love was forever lost. The prince was never coming back to kiss me awake from my enchanted sleep. I was not a princess, after all. So what was the fairy-tale protocol for _other _kisses? The mundane kind that didn't break any spells?

Maybe it would be easy–like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like a betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying, anyway? Just myself.

Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. And I was still absolutely undecided.

The shrill ring of the phone made us both jump, but it did not break his focus. He took his hand from under my chin and reached over me to grab the receiver, but still held my face securely with the hand against my cheek. His dark eyes did not free mine. I was too muddled to react, even to take advantage of the distraction.

"Swan residence," Jacob said, his husky voice low and intense.

Someone answered, and Jacob altered in an instant. He straightened up, and his hand dropped from my face. His eyes went flat, his face blank, and I would have bet the measly remainder of my college fund that it was Alice.

I recovered myself and held out my hand for the phone. Jacob ignored me.

"He's not here," Jacob said, and the words were menacing.

There was some very short reply, a request for more information it seemed, because he added unwillingly, "He's at the funeral." Then Jacob hung up the phone.

"Filthy bloodsucker," he muttered under his breath. The face he turned back to me was the bitter mask again.

"Who did you just hang up on?" I gasped, infuriated. "In _my _house, and on _my _phone?"

"Easy! She hung up on me!"

"She? Who was it?"

He sneered the name. "Alice Cullen."

"Why didn't you let me talk to her?"

"She didn't ask for you," Jacob said coldly. His face was smooth, expressionless, but his hands shook. "He asked where Charlie was and I told him. I don't think I broke any rules of etiquette."

"You listen to me, Jacob Black–"

But he obviously wasn't listening. He looked quickly over his shoulder, as if someone had called his name from the other room. His eyes went wide and his body stiff, then he started trembling. I listened too, automatically, but heard nothing.

"Bye, Bells," he spit out, and wheeled toward the front door.

I ran after him. "What is it?"

And then I ran into him, as he rocked back on his heels, cussing under his breath. He spun around again, knocking me sideways. I bobbled and fell to the floor, my legs tangled with his.

"Shoot, ow!" I protested as he hurriedly jerked his legs free one at a time.

I struggled to pull myself up as he darted for the back door; he suddenly froze again.

Carlisle stood motionless at the foot of the stairs.

"Bella," he said in a very worried and grave tone.

I scrambled to my feet and lurched to his side. His eyes were empty and far away, his face drawn and whiter than bone. His body trembled to an inner turmoil.

"Carlisle, what's wrong?" I cried. I put my hands on his face, trying to calm him.

His eyes focused on mine abruptly, wide with pain.

"Edward," was all he whispered.

My body reacted faster than my mind was able to catch up with the implications of his reply. I didn't at first understand why the room was spinning or where the hollow roar in my ears was coming from. My mind labored, unable to make sense of Carlisle's bleak face and how it could possibly relate to Edward, while my body was already swaying, seeking the relief of unconsciousness before the reality could hit me.

The stairway tilted at the oddest angle.

Jacob's furious voice was suddenly in my ear, hissing out a stream of profanities. I felt a vague disapproval. His new friends were clearly a bad influence.

I was on the couch without understanding how I got there, and Jacob was still swearing. It felt like there was an earthquake–the couch was shaking under me.

"What did you do to her?" he demanded.

Carlisle ignored him. "Bella? Bella, snap out of it. We have to hurry."

"Stay back," Jacob warned.

"Calm down, Jacob Black," Carlisle ordered. "You don't want to do that so close to her."

"I don't think I'll have any problem keeping my focus," he retorted, but his voice sounded a little cooler.

"Carlisle?" My voice was weak. "What happened?" I asked, even though I didn't want to hear.

"Alice just called me and said she had a vision of Edward going to Italy. I have to go and hope I can get there in time to talk him out of it."

"Rosalie told him I killed myself, didn't she?" I said, sighing as I relaxed.

"Yes," Carlisle admitted.

"In her defense, she did believe it. They rely on Alice's sight far too much for something that works so imperfectly. But for her to track him down to tell him this! Didn't she realize… or care…?" His voice faded away in horror.

"And when Edward called here, he thought Jacob meant _my _funeral," I realized. It stung to know how close I'd been, just inches away from his voice. My nails dug into Jacob's arm, but he didn't flinch.

Carlisle looked at me strangely. "You're not upset," he whispered.

"Well, it's really rotten timing, but it will all get straightened out. The next time he calls, someone will tell him… what… really…" I trailed off. His gaze strangled the words in my throat.

"Bella," Carlisle whispered. "Edward won't call again. He believed her."

"I. Don't. Understand." My mouth framed each word in silence. I couldn't push the air out to actually say the words that would make him explain what that meant.

"He's going to Italy, to the Volturi."

It took the length of one heartbeat for me to comprehend.

When Edward's voice came back to me now, it was not the perfect imitation of my delusions. It was just the weak, flat tone of my memories. But the words alone were enough to shred through my chest and leave it gaping open. Words from a time when I would have bet everything that I owned or could borrow on that fact that he loved me.

_Well, I wasn't going to live without you_, he'd said as we watched Romeo and Juliet die, here in this very room. _But I wasn't sure how to do it… I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help… so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi…_

_You don't irritate them. Not unless you want to die._

_Not unless you want to die._

"NO!" The half-shrieked denial was so loud after the whispered words, it made us all jump. I felt the blood rushing to my face as I realized what Alice had seen. "No! No, no, no! He can't! He can't do that!"

"He made up his mind as soon as your friend confirmed that it was too late to save you."

"But he… he _left_! He didn't want me anymore! What difference does it make now? He knew I would die sometime!"

"I don't think he ever planned to outlive you by long," Carlisle said quietly.

"How _dare _he!" I screamed. I was on my feet now, and Jacob rose uncertainly to put himself between Carlisle and me again.

"Oh, get out of the way, Jacob!" I elbowed my way around his trembling body with desperate impatience.

"What do we do?" I begged Carlisle. There had to be something. "Can't we call him? Can Alice?"

He was shaking her head. "That was the first thing I tried. He left his phone in a trash can in Rio–someone answered it…" he whispered.

"You said before we had to hurry. Hurry how? Let's do it, whatever it is!"

"Bella, I can't ask you to do that."

"Ask me!" I commanded.

He put her hands on my shoulders, holding me in place, his fingers flexing sporadically to emphasize his words. "We may already be too late. Alice saw him going to the Volturi… and asking to die." We both cringed, and my eyes were suddenly blind.

I blinked feverishly at the tears.

"It all depends on what they choose. Alice can't see that till they make a decision. Edward has a backup plan. They're very protective of their city. If Edward does something to upset the peace, he thinks they'll act to stop him. And he's right. They will."

I stared at him with my jaw clenched in frustration. I'd heard nothing yet that would explain why we were still standing here.

"So if they agree to grant his favor, we're too late. If they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough, we're too late. If he gives into his more theatrical tendencies… we might have time."

"Let's go!"

"Listen, Bella! Whether we are in time or not, we will be in the heart of the Volturi city. I will be considered his accomplice if he is successful. You will be a human who not only knows too much, but also smells too good. There's a very good chance that they will eliminate us all–though in your case it won't be punishment so much as dinnertime."

"This is what's keeping us here?" I asked in disbelief. "I'll go alone if you're afraid." I mentally tabulated what money was left in my account, and wondered if Carlisle would lend me the rest.

"I'm only afraid of getting you killed."

I snorted in disgust. "I almost get myself killed on a daily basis! Tell me what I need to do!"

"You write a note to Charlie. I'll call the airlines."

"Charlie," I gasped.

Not that my presence was protecting him, but could I leave him here alone to face…

"I'm not going to let anything happen to Charlie." Jacob's low voice was gruff and angry. "Screw the treaty."

I glanced up at him, and he scowled at my panicked expression.

"Hurry, Bella," Carlisle interrupted urgently.

I ran to the kitchen, yanking the drawers open and throwing the contents all over the floor as I searched for a pen. A smooth, brown hand held one out to me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, pulling the cap off with my teeth. He silently handed me the pad of paper we wrote phone messages on. I tore off the top sheet and threw it over my shoulder.

_Dad_, I wrote. _I'm with __Carlisle__. Edward's in trouble and about to do something very stupid. I have to stop him. You can ground me when I get back. I know it's a bad time. So sorry. Love you so much. Bella._

"Don't go," Jacob whispered. The anger was all gone now that Carlisle was out of sight.

I wasn't about to waste time arguing with him. "Please, please, _please _take care of Charlie," I said as I dashed back out to the front room. Carlisle was waiting in the doorway with a bag over his shoulder.

"Get your wallet–you'll need ID. Do you have a passport? I don't have time to forge one."

I nodded and then raced up the stairs, my knees weak with gratitude that my mother had wanted to marry Phil on a beach in Mexico. Of course, like all her plans, it had fallen through. But not before I'd made all the practical arrangements I could for her.

I tore through my room. I stuffed my old wallet, a clean T-shirt, and sweatpants into my backpack, and then threw my toothbrush on top. I hurled myself back down the stairs. The sense of deja vu was nearly stifling by this point. At least, unlike the last time–when I'd run away from Forks to _escape _thirsty vampires rather than to _find _them–I wouldn't have to say goodbye to Charlie in person.

Jacob and Carlisle were locked in some kind of confrontation in front of the open door, standing so far apart you wouldn't assume at first that they were having a conversation.

Neither one seemed to notice my noisy reappearance.

"You might control yourself on occasion, but these leeches you're taking her to–" Jacob was furiously accusing him.

"Yes. You're right, Jacob. The Volturi are some of the oldest and most powerful of our kind. I'm not unaware of that."

"And you take her to them like a bottle of wine for a party!" he shouted.

Carlisle turned for the car, disappearing in his haste. I hurried after him, pausing automatically to turn and lock the door.

Jacob caught my arm with a shivering hand. "Please, Bella. I'm begging."

His dark eyes were glistening with tears. A lump filled my throat.

"Jake, I _have _to–"

"You don't, though. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie. For me."

I shook my head, tears spattering from my eyes with the sharp motion. I pulled my arm free, and he didn't fight me.

"Don't die, Bella," he choked out. "Don't go. Don't."

What if I never saw him again?

The thought pushed me past the silent tears; a sob broke out from my chest. I threw my arms around his waist and hugged for one too-short moment, burying my tear-wet face against his chest. He put his big hand on the back of my hair, as if to hold me there.

"Bye, Jake." I pulled his hand from my hair, and kissed his palm. I couldn't bear to look at his face. "Sorry," I whispered.

Then I spun and raced for the car. The door on the passenger side was open and waiting. I threw my backpack over the headrest and slid in, slamming the door behind me.

"Take care of Charlie!" I turned to shout out the window, but Jacob was nowhere in sight.

As Carlisle stomped on the gas and–with the tires screeching like human screams–spun us around to face the road, I caught sight of a shred of white near the edge of the trees. A piece of a shoe.

* * *

So there is Chapter 2. I won't update as often once I actually get into the plot I have in mind. I'm sorry if Carlisle is out of character. I'm trying to make it as believable as possible, but changing everything is very difficult. With the next chapter, things will become very different from the actual events. Disclaimer is in the first chapter. Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3: The Volturi

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 3 – The Volturi

* * *

We made our flight with seconds to spare, and then the true torture began. The plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled–so casually–up and down the aisle, patting the bags in the overhead compartments to make sure everything fit. The pilots leaned out of the cockpit, chatting with them as they passed. Carlisle's comforting hand was on my shoulder, stilling my nervous movements.

"It's faster than running," he reminded me in a low voice.

I just nodded in time with my bouncing.

At last the plane rolled lazily from the gate, building speed with a gradual steadiness that me further. I expected some kind of relief when we achieved liftoff, but my frenzied impatience didn't lessen.

Carlisle lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of him before we'd stopped climbing, turning her back on the stewardess who eyed him with disapproval. Something about my expression stopped the stewardess from coming over to protest.

I tried to tune out what Carlisle was murmuring to Alice; I didn't want to hear the words again, but some slipped through.

"So you can't see what he'll do? That means we might have enough time."

"No, they can't." Carlisle's voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible, though I was sitting inches from him. Contrarily, I listened harder. "Tell Emmett no… Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back… Think about it, Alice. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?" He nodded. "Exactly. I think Bella is the only chance–if there is a chance… I'll do everything that can be done, but prepare Esme; the odds aren't good."

There was a catch in his voice. "I've thought of that… Yes, I promise."

His voice became concerned. "Don't follow me. I promise, Alice. One way or another, I'll get out… And I love you."

He hung up, and leaned back in his seat with her eyes closed. "I hate lying to Alice."

"Tell me everything, Carlisle," I begged. "I don't understand. Why did you tell Alice to stop Emmett, why can't they come help us?"

"There are two reasons," he whispered, his eyes still closed. "The first I told her. We _could _try to stop Edward ourselves–if Emmett could get his hands on him, we might be able to stop him long enough to convince him you're alive. But we can't sneak up on Edward. And if he sees us coming for him, he'll just act that much faster. He'll throw a car through a wall or something, and the Volturi will take him down.

"That's the second reason of course, the reason I couldn't say to Alice. If they're there and the Volturi kill Edward, they'll fight them. Bella." He opened his eyes and stared at me, beseeching. "If there were any chance we could win… if there were a way that we could save my son by fighting for him, maybe it would be different. But we can't, and, Bella, I can't lose any of my other children like that."

I realized why his eyes begged for my understanding. He was protecting Alice and the others, at our expense, and maybe at Edward's, too. I understood, and I did not think badly of him. I nodded.

"Couldn't Edward hear you, though?" I asked. "Wouldn't he know, as soon as he heard your thoughts, that I was alive, that there was no point to this?"

Not that there was any justification, either way. I still couldn't believe that he was capable of reacting like this. It made no sense! I remembered with painful clarity his words that day on the sofa, while we watched Romeo and Juliet kill themselves, one after the other. _I wasn't going to live without you_, he'd said, as if it should be such an obvious conclusion. But the words he had spoken in the forest as he'd left me had cancelled all that out–forcefully.

"_If he _were listening," he explained. "But believe it or not, it's possible to lie with your thoughts. If you had died, I would still try to stop him. And I would be thinking 'she's alive, she's alive' as hard as I could. He knows that."

I ground my teeth in mute frustration.

"If there were any way to do this without you, Bella, I wouldn't be endangering you like this. It's very wrong of me."

"Don't be stupid. I'm the last thing you should be worrying about." I shook my head impatiently. "Tell me what you meant, about hating to lie to Alice."

He smiled a grim smile. "I promised her I would get out before they killed me, too. It's not something I can guarantee–not by a long shot." He raised her eyebrows, as if willing me to take the danger more seriously.

"Who are these Volturi?" I demanded in a whisper. "What makes them so much more dangerous than Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, and you?" It was hard to imagine something scarier than that.

He took a deep breath, and then abruptly leveled a dark glance over my shoulder. I turned in time to see the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn't listening to us. He appeared to be a businessman, in a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees. While I stared at him with irritation, he opened the computer and very conspicuously put headphones on. I leaned closer to Carlisle. His lips were at my ears as he breathed the story.

"I was surprised that you recognized the name," he said. "That you understood so immediately what it meant–when I said he was going to Italy. I thought I would have to explain. How much did Edward tell you?"

"He just said they were an old, powerful family–like royalty. That you didn't antagonize them unless you wanted to… die," I whispered. The last word was hard to choke out.

"You have to understand," he said, her voice slower, more measured now. "We Cullens are unique in more ways than you know. It's…_abnormal _for so many of us to live together in peace.

It's the same for Tanya's family in the north, and I think that abstaining makes it easier for us to be civilized, to form bonds based on love rather than survival or convenience.

Even James's little coven of three was unusually large–and you saw how easily Laurent left them. Our kind travel alone, or in pairs, as a general rule. My family is the biggest in existence, as far as I know, with the one exception. The Volturi.

"There were three of them originally, Aro, Caius, and Marcus."

"I've seen them," I mumbled. "In the picture in your study."

Carlisle nodded. "Two females joined them over time, and the five of them make up the family. I'm not sure, but I suspect that their age is what gives them the ability to live peacefully together.

They are well over two thousand years old. Or maybe it's their gifts that give them extra tolerance. Like Edward, Alice and Jasper, Aro and Marcus are… talented."

He continued before I could ask. "Or maybe it's just their love of power that binds them together. Royalty is an apt description."

"But if there are only five–"

"Five that make up the family," she corrected. "That doesn't include their guard."

I took a deep breath. "That sounds… serious."

"Oh, it is," he assured me. "I remember seeing them in action when I lived with them. There were nine members of the guard that were permanent, the last time I heard. Others are more… transitory. It changes. And many of them are gifted as well–with formidable gifts, gifts that make what Alice can do look like a parlor trick.

The Volturi chose them for their abilities, physical or otherwise."

I opened my mouth, and then closed it. I didn't think I wanted to know how bad the odds were.

He nodded again, as if he understood exactly what I was thinking. "They don't get into too many confrontations. No one is stupid enough to mess with them. They stay in their city, leaving only as duty calls."

"Duty?" I wondered.

"Didn't Edward tell you what they do?"

"No," I said, feeling the blank expression on my face.

Carlisle looked over my head again, toward the businessman, and put his wintry lips back to my ear.

"There's a reason he called them royalty… the ruling class. Over the millennia, they have assumed the position of enforcing our rules–which actually translates to punishing transgressors. They fulfill that duty decisively."

My eyes popped wide with shock. "There are _rules_?" I asked in a voice that was too loud.

"Shh!"

"Shouldn't somebody have mentioned this to me earlier?" I whispered angrily. "I mean, I wanted to be a… to be one of you! Shouldn't somebody have explained the rules to me?"

Carlisle chuckled once at my reaction. "It's not that complicated, Bella. There's only one core restriction–and if you think about it, you can probably figure it out for yourself."

I thought about it. "Nope, I have no idea."

He shook her head, disappointed. "Maybe it's too obvious. We just have to keep our existence a secret."

"Oh," I mumbled. It _was _obvious.

"It makes sense, and most of us don't need policing," he continued. "But, after a few centuries, sometimes one of us gets bored. Or crazy. And then the Volturi step in before it can compromise them, or the rest of us."

"So Edward…"

"Is planning to flout that in their own city–the city they've secretly held for twenty three hundred years, since the time of ancient Rome. They are so protective of their city that they don't allow hunting within its walls. Volterra is probably the safest city in the world–from vampire attack at the very least."

"But you said they didn't leave. How do they eat?"

"They don't leave. They bring in their food from the outside, from quite far away sometimes. It gives their guard something to do when they're not out annihilating mavericks. Or protecting Volterra from exposure…"

"From situations like this one, like Edward," I finished his sentence. It was amazingly easy to say his name now. I wasn't sure what the difference was. Maybe because I wasn't really planning on living much longer without seeing him. Or at all, if we were too late. It was comforting to know that I would have an easy out.

"I doubt they've ever had a situation quite like this," he muttered, disgusted. "You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires."

The sound that escaped out of my mouth was very quiet, but Carlisle seemed to understand that it was a cry of pain. He wrapped his comforting, strong arm around my shoulders.

"We'll do what we can, Bella. It's not over yet."

"Not yet." I let him comfort me, though I knew he thought our chances were poor. "And the Volturi will get us if we mess up."

Carlisle stiffened. "You say that like it's a good thing."

I shrugged.

"Knock it off, Bella, or we're turning around in New York and going back to Forks."

"What?"

"You know what. If we're too late for Edward, I'm going to do my damnedest to get you back to Charlie, and I don't want any trouble from you. Do you understand that?"

"Sure, Carlisle."

He pulled back slightly so that he could stare at me. "No trouble."

"Scout's honor," I muttered.

They showed a movie, and my neighbor got headphones. Sometimes I watched the figures moving across the little screen, but I couldn't even tell if the movie was supposed to be a romance or a horror film.

After an eternity, the plane began to descend toward New York City. We had to run for our connection, but that was good–better than having to wait. When it was dark again, I opened the window to stare out into the flat black that was no better than the window shade.

I was grateful that I'd had so many months' practice with controlling my thoughts. Instead of dwelling on the terrifying possibilities that, no matter what Carlisle said, I did not intend to survive, I concentrated on lesser problems. Like, what I was going to say to Charlie if I got back:' That was a thorny enough problem to occupy several hours. And Jacob? He'd promised to wait for me, but did that promise still apply? Would I end up home alone in Forks, with no one at all? Maybe I didn't _want _to survive, no matter what happened.

It felt like seconds later when Carlisle shook my shoulder–I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep.

"What's wrong?"

Carlisle's eyes gleamed in the dim light of a reading lamp in the row behind us.

"I called Alice. The Volturi have decided to tell him no."

An attendant tiptoed down the aisle to us. "Can I get the lady a pillow?" His hushed whisper was a rebuke to our comparatively loud conversation.

"No, thank you."

"Tell me," I breathed almost silently.

He whispered into my ear. "They're going to offer him a place with them."

"What will he say?"

"Alice can't see that yet, but I'll bet it's colorful."

"This is the first good news–the first break. They're intrigued; they truly don't want to destroy him–'wasteful,' that's the word Aro will use–and that may be enough to force him to get creative. The longer he spends on his plans, the better for us."

It wasn't enough to make me hopeful, to make me feel the relief he obviously felt. There were still so many ways that we could be too late. And if I didn't get through the walls into the Volturi city, I wouldn't be able to stop Carlisle from dragging me back home.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"I'm confused. How is Alice seeing this so clearly? And then other times, she sees things far away–things that don't happen?"

His eyes tightened. I wondered if he guessed what I was thinking of.

"It's clear because it's immediate and close, and she's really concentrating. The faraway things that come on their own–those are just glimpses, faint maybes. Plus, she sees our kind more easily than yours. Edward is even easier because she's so attuned to him."

"She sees me sometimes," I reminded her.

"Not as clearly."

I sighed. "I really wish she could have been right about me. In the beginning, when she first saw things about me, before we even met…"

"What do you mean?"

"She saw me become one of you." I barely mouthed the words.

He sighed. "It was a possibility at the time."

"At the time," I repeated.

"Actually, Bella…" he hesitated, and then seemed to make a choice. "Honestly, I think it's all gotten beyond ridiculous. I'm debating whether to just change you myself."

I stared at him, frozen with shock. Instantly, my mind resisted his words. I couldn't afford that kind of hope if he changed his mind.

"Did I scare you?" he wondered. "I thought that's what you wanted."

"I do!" I gasped. "Oh, Carlisle, do it now! I could help you so much–and I wouldn't slow you down. Bite me!"

"Shh," he cautioned. The attendant was looking in our direction again. "Try to be reasonable," he whispered. "We don't have enough time. We have to get into Volterra tomorrow. You'd be writhing in pain for days, and I don't think the other passengers would react well."

I bit my lip. "If you don't do it now, you'll change your mind."

"No." he frowned, his expression unhappy. "I don't think I will. He'll be furious, but what will he be able to do about it?"

My heart beat faster. "Nothing at all."

"You are so unusual, even for a human."

"Thanks."

"This is purely hypothetical at this point. We have to stop him first."

"Good point." But at least I had something to hope for if we did. If Carlisle made good on his promise then Edward could run after his distractions all he wanted, and I could follow. I wouldn't let him be distracted. Maybe, when I was beautiful and strong, he wouldn't want distractions.

"Go back to sleep," he encouraged me. "I'll wake you up when there's something new."

"Right," I grumbled, certain that sleep was a lost cause now. I rested my head against the seat, watching him, and the next thing I knew, he was snapping the shade closed against the faint brightening in the eastern sky.

"What's happening?" I mumbled.

"I checked in with Alice. They've told him no," he said quietly.

My voice choked in my throat with panic. "What's he going to do?"

"He was changing plans so quickly."

"Will there be enough time?" As I spoke, there was a shift in the cabin pressure. I could feel the plane angling downward.

"I'm hoping so–if he sticks to his latest decision, maybe."

"What is that?"

"He's going to keep it simple. He's just going to walk out into the sun."

Just walk out into the sun. That was all.

It would be enough. The image of Edward in the meadow–glowing, shimmering like his skin was made of a million diamond facets–was burned into my memory. No human who saw that would ever forget. The Volturi couldn't possibly allow it. Not if they wanted to keep their city inconspicuous.

I looked at the slight gray glow that shone through the opened windows. "We'll be too late,"

I whispered, my throat closing in panic.

He shook his head. "Right now, he's leaning toward the melodramatic. He wants the biggest audience possible, so he'll choose the main plaza, under the clock tower. The walls are high there. He'll wait till the sun is exactly overhead."

"So we have till noon?"

"If we're lucky. If he sticks with this decision."

The pilot came on over the intercom, announcing, first in French and then in English, our imminent landing. The seat belt lights dinged and flashed.

"How far is it from Florence to Volterra?"

"That depends on how fast you drive… Bella?"

"Yes?"

He eyed me speculatively. "How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"

A bright yellow Porsche screamed to a stop a few feet in front of where I paced, the word TURBO scrawled in silver cursive across its back. Everyone beside me on the crowded airport sidewalk stared.

The interior was black leather, and the windows were tinted dark. It felt safer inside, like nighttime.

Carlisle was already weaving, too fast, through the thick airport traffic–sliding through tiny spaces between the cars as I cringed and fumbled for my seat belt.

I probably should have watched out the window as first the city of Florence and then the Tuscan landscape flashed past with blurring speed. This was my first trip anywhere, and maybe my last, too. But Carlisle's driving frightened me, despite the fact that I knew I could trust him. And I was too tortured with anxiety to really see the hills or the walled towns that looked like castles in the distance.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang.

"Hello Alice. Did you see anything more?"

I tried to hear what Alice said, but I couldn't make sense of the mumbled words. After a few moments, Carlisle spoke. "I know exactly what's going on. Thank you. I'll call you later. Love you too. Bye Alice."

"What's happening?" I asked him.

He chuckled. "It's ironic really. The city holds a celebration every year. As the legend goes, a Christian missionary, a Father Marcus–Marcus of the Volturi, in fact–drove all the vampires from Volterra fifteen hundred years ago. The story claims he was martyred in Romania, still trying to drive away the vampire scourge. Of course that's nonsense–he's never left the city. But that's where some of the superstitions about things like crosses and garlic come from. _Father _Marcus used them so successfully. And vampires don't trouble Volterra, so they must work."

His smile was sardonic. "It's become more of a celebration of the city, and recognition for the police force–after all, Volterra is an amazingly safe city. The police get the credit."

I was realizing what he meant when he'd said _ironic_. "They're not going to be very happy if Edward messes things up for them on St. Marcus Day, are they?"

He shook his head, his expression grim. "No. They'll act very quickly."

I looked away, fighting against my teeth as they tried to break through the skin of my lower lip. Bleeding was not the best idea right now.

The sun was terrifyingly high in the pale blue sky.

"He's still planning on noon?" I checked.

"Yes. He's decided to wait. And they're waiting for him."

"Tell me what I have to do."

He kept her eyes on the winding road–the needle on the speedometer was touching the far right on the dial.

"You don't have to do anything. He just has to see you before he moves into the light. And he has to see you before he sees me."

"How are we going to work that?"

A small red car seemed to be racing backward as Carlisle zoomed around it.

"I'm going to get you as close as possible, and then you're going to run in the direction I point you."

I nodded.

"Try not to trip," he added. "We don't have time for a concussion today."

I groaned. That would be just like me–ruin everything, destroy the world, in a moment of klutziness.

The sun continued to climb in the sky while Carlisle raced against it. It was too bright, and that had me panicking. Maybe he wouldn't feel the need to wait for noon after all.

"There," Carlisle said abruptly, pointing to the castle city atop the closest hill.

I stared at it, feeling the very first hint of a new kind of fear. Every minute since yesterday morning–it seemed like a week ago–when Carlisle had spoken his name at the foot of the stairs, there had been only one fear. And yet, now, as I stared at the ancient sienna walls and towers crowning the peak of the steep hill, I felt another, more selfish kind of dread thrill through me.

I supposed the city was very beautiful. It absolutely terrified me.

"Volterra," Carlisle announced in a flat, icy voice.

* * *

And there is Chapter 3. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I was so happy I put off laundry and homework to write this. The next chapter is where things really start to get interesting. Also, feel free to let me know if I make any spelling or grammar errors. I usually catch them, but sometimes I miss things.


	4. Chapter 4: Out of the Pot

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 4 – Out of the Pot

* * *

We began the steep climb, and the road grew congested. As we wound higher, the cars became too close together for Carlisle to weave insanely between them anymore. We slowed to a crawl behind a little tan Peugeot.

"Carlisle," I moaned. The clock on the dash seemed to be speeding up.

"It's the only way in," he told me, his voice trying to soothe me. I was too nervous for it to work.

The cars continued to edge forward, one car length at a time. The sun beamed down brilliantly, seeming already overhead.

The cars crept one by one toward the city. As we got closer, I could see cars parked by the side of the road with people getting out to walk the rest of the way. At first I thought it was just impatience–something I could easily understand. But then we came around a switchback, and I could see the filled parking lot outside the city wall, the crowds of people walking through the gates. No one was being allowed to drive through.

"Carlisle," I whispered urgently.

"I know," he said. His face was chiseled from ice.

Now that I was looking, and we were crawling slowly enough to see, I could tell that it was very windy. The people crowding toward the gate gripped their hats and tugged their hair out of their faces. Their clothes billowed around them. I also noticed that the color red was everywhere. Red shirts, red hats, red flags dripping like long ribbons beside the gate, whipping in the wind–as I watched, the brilliant crimson scarf one woman had tied around her hair was caught in a sudden gust. It twisted up into the air above her, writhing like it was alive. She reached for it, jumping in the air, but it continued to flutter higher, a patch of bloody color against the dull, ancient walls.

"Bella." Carlisle spoke quickly in a fierce, low voice. "Alice told me that she couldn't see the guard's decision. If my plan doesn't work, I need you to run as fast as you can. Just keep asking for the Palazzo dei Priori, and running in the direction they tell you."

"Palazzo dei Priori, Palazzo dei Priori," I repeated the name over and over again, trying to get it down.

Bella grimaced, knowing she would have never reached there in time.

"Or 'the clock tower,' if they speak English. I'll go around and try to find a secluded spot somewhere behind the city where I can go over the wall."

I nodded. "Palazzo dei Priori."

"Edward will be under the clock tower, to the north of the square. There's a narrow alleyway on the right, and he'll be in the shadow there. You have to get his attention before he can move into the sun."

I nodded furiously.

Carlisle was near the front of the line. A man in a navy blue uniform was directing the flow of traffic, turning the cars away from the full lot. They U-turned and headed back to find a place beside the road. Then it was Carlisle's turn.

The uniformed man motioned lazily, not paying attention. Carlisle accelerated, edging around him and heading for the gate. He shouted something at us, but held his ground, waving frantically to keep the next car from following our bad example.

The man at the gate wore a matching uniform. As we approached him, the throngs of tourists passed, crowding the sidewalks, staring curiously at the pushy, flashy Porsche.

The guard stepped into the middle of the street. Alice angled the car carefully before she came to a full stop. The sun beat against my window, and she was in shadow. She swiftly reached behind the seat and grabbed something from her bag.

The guard came around the car with an irritated expression, and tapped on his window angrily.

He rolled the window down halfway, and I watched him do a double take when he saw the face behind the dark glass.

"I'm sorry, only tour buses allowed in the city today, sir," he said in English, with a heavy accent.

"It's a private tour," Carlisle said. He reached his hand out of the window, into the sunlight. I froze, until I realized he was wearing a tan, leather glove. He took his hand, still raised from tapping his window, and pulled it into the car. He put something into his palm, and folded his fingers around it.

His face was dazed as he retrieved his hand and stared at the thick roll of money he now held. The outside bill was a thousand dollar bill.

"Is this a joke?" he mumbled.

Carlisle's smile was blinding. "No."

He looked at him, his eyes staring wide. I glanced nervously at the clock on the dash. If Edward stuck to his plan, we had only five minutes left.

"I'm sorry, but I am in a bit of a hurry," he hinted, still smiling.

The guard blinked twice, and then shoved the money inside his vest. He took a step away from the window and waved us on. None of the passing people seemed to notice the quiet exchange. Carlisle drove into the city, and we both sighed in relief.

The street was very narrow, cobbled with the same color stones as the faded cinnamon brown buildings that darkened the street with their shade. It had the feel of an alleyway. Red flags decorated the walls, spaced only a few yards apart, flapping in the wind that whistled through the narrow lane. It was crowded, and the foot traffic slowed our progress.

"Just a little farther," Carlisle encouraged me; I was gripping the door handle, ready to throw myself into the street as soon as he spoke the word.

He drove in quick spurts and sudden stops, and the people in the crowd shook their fists at us and said angry words that I was glad I couldn't understand.

He turned onto a little path that couldn't have been meant for cars; shocked people had to squeeze into doorways as we scraped by.

We found another street at the end. The buildings were taller here; they leaned together overhead so that no sunlight touched the pavement–the thrashing red flags on either side nearly met. The crowd was thicker here than anywhere else. Alice stopped the car. I had the door open before we were at a standstill.

He pointed to where the street widened into a patch of bright openness. "There–we're at the southern end of the square. Run straight across, to the right of the clock tower. I'll find a way around–"

His breath caught suddenly, and when he spoke again, his voice was a hiss. "They're _everywhere_!"

I froze in place, but he pushed me out of the car. "Forget about them. You have two minutes. Go, Bella, go!" he shouted, climbing out of the car as he spoke.

I didn't pause to watch Carlisle melt into the shadows. I didn't stop to close my door behind me. I shoved a heavy woman out of my way and ran flat out, head down, paying little attention to anything but the uneven stones beneath my feet.

Coming out of the dark lane, I was blinded by the brilliant sunlight beating down into the principal plaza. The wind _whooshed _into me, flinging my hair into my eyes and blinding me further. It was no wonder that I didn't see the wall of flesh until I'd smacked into it.

There was no pathway, no crevice between the close pressed bodies. I pushed against them furiously, fighting the hands that shoved back. I heard exclamations of irritation and even pain as I battled my way through, but none were in a language I understood. The faces were a blur of anger and surprise, surrounded by the ever-present red. A blond woman scowled at me, and the red scarf coiled around her neck looked like a gruesome wound. A child, lifted on a man's shoulders to see over the crowd, grinned down at me, his lips distended over a set of plastic vampire fangs.

The throng jostled around me, spinning me the wrong direction. I was glad the clock was so visible, or I'd never keep my course straight. But both hands on the clock pointed up toward the pitiless sun, and, though I shoved viciously against the crowd, I knew I was too late. I wasn't halfway across. I wasn't going to make it. I was stupid and slow and human, and we were all going to die because of it.

I hoped Carlisle would get out. I hoped that he would see me from some dark shadow and know that I had failed, so he could go home to Esme.

I listened, above the angry exclamations, trying to hear the sound of discovery: the gasp, maybe the scream, as Edward came into someone's view. But there was a break in the crowd–I could see a bubble of space ahead. I pushed urgently toward it, not realizing till I bruised my shins against the bricks that there was a wide, square fountain set into the center of the plaza. I was nearly crying with relief as I flung my leg over the edge and ran through the knee-deep water.

It sprayed all around me as I thrashed my way across the pool. Even in the sun, the wind was glacial, and the wet made the cold actually painful. But the fountain was very wide; it let me cross the center of the square and then some in mere seconds. I didn't pause when I hit the far edge–I used the low wall as a springboard, throwing myself into the crowd. They moved more readily for me now, avoiding the icy water that splattered from my dripping clothes as I ran. I glanced up at the clock again.

A deep, booming chime echoed through the square. It throbbed in the stones under my feet. Children cried, covering their ears. And I started screaming as I ran.

"Edward!" I screamed, knowing it was useless. The crowd was too loud, and my voice was breathless with exertion. But I couldn't stop screaming.

The clock tolled again. I ran past a child in his mother's arms–his hair was almost white in the dazzling sunlight. A circle of tall men, all wearing red blazers, called out warnings as I barreled through them. The clock tolled again.

On the other side of the men in blazers, there was a break in the throng, space between the sightseers who milled aimlessly around me. My eyes searched the dark narrow passage to the right of the wide square edifice under the tower. I couldn't see the street level–there were still too many people in the way. The clock tolled again.

It was hard to see now. Without the crowd to break the wind, it whipped at my face and burned my eyes. I couldn't be sure if that was the reason behind my tears, or if I was crying in defeat as the clock tolled again.

A little family of four stood nearest to the alley's mouth. The two girls wore crimson dresses, with matching ribbons tying their dark hair back. The father wasn't tall. It seemed like I could see something bright in the shadows, just over his shoulder. I hurtled toward them, trying to see past the stinging tears. The clock tolled, and the littlest girl clamped her hands over her ears.

The older girl, just waist high on her mother, hugged her mother's leg and stared into the shadows behind them. As I watched, she tugged on her mother's elbow and pointed toward the darkness.

The clock tolled, and I was so close now.

I was close enough to hear her high-pitched voice. Her father stared at me in surprise as I bore down on them, rasping out Edward's name over and over again. The older girl giggled and said something to her mother, gesturing toward the shadows again impatiently.

I swerved around the father–he clutched the baby out of my way–and sprinted for the gloomy breach behind them as the clock tolled over my head.

"Edward, no!" I screamed, but my voice was lost in the roar of the chime.

I could see him now. And I could see that he could not see me.

It was really him, no hallucination this time. And I realized that my delusions were more flawed than I'd realized; they'd never done him justice.

Edward stood, motionless as a statue, just a few feet from the mouth of the alley. His eyes were closed, the rings underneath them deep purple, his arms relaxed at his sides, his palms turned forward. His expression was very peaceful, like he was dreaming pleasant things.

The marble skin of his chest was bare–there was a small pile of white fabric at his feet. The light reflecting from the pavement of the square gleamed dimly from his skin.

I'd never seen anything more beautiful–even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that.

The clock tolled, and he took a large stride toward the light.

"No!" I screamed. "Edward, look at me!"

He wasn't listening. He smiled very slightly. He raised his foot to take the step that would put him directly in the path of the sun.

I slammed into him so hard that the force would have hurled me to the ground if his arms hadn't caught me and held me up. It knocked my breath out of me and snapped my head back.

His dark eyes opened slowly as the clock tolled again.

He looked down at me with quiet surprise.

"Amazing," he said, his exquisite voice full of wonder, slightly amused. "Carlisle was right."

"Edward," I tried to gasp, but my voice had no sound. "You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!"

He seemed bemused. His hand brushed softly against my cheek. He didn't appear to notice that I was trying to force him back. I could have been pushing against the alley walls for all the progress I was making. The clock tolled, but he didn't react.

I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast through my veins again. My lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off his skin. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect–not healed, but as if there had been no wound in the first place.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing–they're very good," he mused, closing his eyes again and pressing his lips against my hair.

Somebody groaned.

His voice was like honey and velvet.

"_Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty_," he murmured, and I recognized the line spoken by Romeo in the tomb. The clock boomed out its final chime "You smell just exactly the same as always," he went on. "So maybe this _is _hell. I don't care. I'll take it."

"I'm not dead," I interrupted. "And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!"

I struggled in his arms, and his brow furrowed in confusion.

"What was that?" he asked politely.

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to _get _out of here before the Volturi–"

Comprehension flickered on his face as I spoke. Before I could finish, he suddenly yanked me away from the edge of the shadows, spinning me effortlessly so that my back was tight against the brick wall, and his back was to me as he faced away into the alley. His arms spread wide, protectively, in front of me.

I peeked under his arm to see two dark shapes detach themselves from the gloom.

"Greetings, gentlemen," Edward's voice was calm and pleasant, on the surface. "I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters."

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" a smooth voice whispered menacingly.

"I don't believe that will be necessary." Edward's voice was harder now. "I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules."

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun," the other shadow said in a soothing tone. They were both concealed within smoky gray cloaks that reached to the ground and undulated in the wind. "Let us seek better cover."

"I'll be right behind you," Edward said dryly. "Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?"

"No, bring the girl," the first shadow said, somehow injecting a leer into his whisper.

"I don't think so." The pretense of civility disappeared. Edward's voice was flat and icy. His weight shifted infinitesimally, and I could see that he was preparing to fight.

"No." I mouthed the word.

"Shh," he murmured, only for me.

"Felix," the second, more reasonable shadow cautioned. "Not here."

He turned to Edward.

"Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all."

"Certainly," Edward agreed. '"But the girl goes free."

"I'm afraid that's not possible," the polite shadow said regretfully. "We do have rules to obey."

"Then _I'm _afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri."

"That's just fine," Felix purred. My eyes were adjusting to the deep shade, and I could see that Felix was very big, tall and thick through the shoulders. His size reminded me of Emmett.

"Aro will be disappointed," Demetri sighed.

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown," Edward replied.

Felix and Demetri stole closer toward the mouth of the alley, spreading out slightly so they could come at Edward from two sides. They meant to force him deeper into the alley, to avoid a scene. No reflected light found access to their skin; they were safe inside their cloaks

Edward didn't move an inch. He was dooming himself by protecting me.

Abruptly, Edward's head whipped around, toward the darkness of the winding alley, and Demetri and Felix did the same, in response to some sound or movement too subtle for my senses.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we?" a familiar, comforting voice suggested. "There is a lady present." Carlisle gracefully moved to Edward's side, his stance casual.

Yet Demetri and Felix both straightened up, their cloaks swirling slightly as a gust of wind funneled through the alley. Felix's face soured. Apparently, they didn't like even numbers.

"We're not alone," he reminded them.

Demetri glanced over his shoulder. A few yards into the square, the little family, with the girls in their red dresses, was watching us. The mother was speaking urgently to her husband, her eyes on the five of us. She looked away when Demetri met her gaze. The man walked a few steps farther into the plaza, and tapped one of the red-blazered men on the shoulder.

Demetri shook his head. "Please, Edward, let's be reasonable," he said.

"Let's," Edward agreed. "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser."

Demetri sighed in frustration. "At least let us discuss this more privately."

Six men in red now joined the family as they watched us with anxious expressions. I was very conscious of Edward's protective stance in front of me–sure that this was what caused their alarm. I wanted to scream to them to run.

Edward's teeth came together audibly. "No."

Felix smiled.

"Enough."

The voice was high, reedy, and came from behind us.

I peeked under Edward's other arm to see a small, dark shape coming toward us. By the way the edges billowed, I knew it would be another one of them. Who else?

At first I thought it was a young boy. The newcomer was as tiny as Alice, with lank, pale brown hair trimmed short. The body under the cloak–which was darker, almost black–was slim and androgynous. But the face was too pretty for a boy. The wide-eyed, full-lipped face would make a Botticelli angel look like a gargoyle. Even allowing for the dull crimson irises.

Her size was so insignificant that the reaction to her appearance confused me.

"Hello Jane."

"Hello Carlisle. Aro will be pleased."

I looked at Carlisle, wondering how he knew this newcomer.

Felix and Demetri relaxed immediately, stepping back from their offensive positions to blend again with the shadows of the overhanging walls.

Edward dropped his arms and relaxed his position as well–but in defeat.

"Jane," he sighed in recognition and resignation.

"Follow me," Jane spoke again, her childish voice a monotone. She turned her back on us and drifted silently into the dark.

Felix gestured for us to go first, smirking. Carlisle walked after the little Jane at once. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me along beside him. The alley angled slightly downward as it narrowed. I looked up at him with frantic questions in my eyes, but he just shook his head. Though I couldn't hear the others behind us, I was sure they were there.

"Well, Carlisle," Edward said conversationally as we walked. "I am surprised to see you here."

"Alice needed to hunt, so I came instead." Carlisle answered in the same tone.

"What happened?" His voice was polite, as if he were barely interested. I imagined this was due to the listening ears behind us.

"It's a long story." Carlisle's eyes flickered toward me and away. "In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella has developed an interest in extreme sports these days."

I flushed and turned my eyes straight ahead, looking after the dark shadow that I could no longer see. I could imagine what he was hearing in Carlisle's thoughts now. Near drownings, stalking vampires, werewolf friends…

"Hm," Edward said curtly, and the casual tone of his voice was gone.

There was a loose curve to the alley, still slanting downward, so I didn't see the squared-off dead end coming until we reached the flat, windowless, brick face. The little one called Jane was nowhere to be seen.

Carlisle didn't hesitate, didn't break pace as he strode toward the wall. Then, with easy grace, he slid down an open hole in the street.

It looked like a drain, sunk into the lowest point of the paving. I hadn't noticed it until Carlisle disappeared, but the grate was halfway pushed aside. The hole was small, and black. I balked.

"It's all right, Bella," Edward said in a low voice. "Carlisle will catch you."

I eyed the hole doubtfully. I imagine he would have gone first, if Demetri and Felix hadn't been waiting, smug and silent, behind us.

I crouched down, swinging my legs into the narrow gap.

"Carlisle?" I whispered, voice trembling.

"I'm right here, Bella," he reassured me. His voice, coming from far below, made me feel better, at least for a moment.

Edward took my wrists–his hands felt like stones in winter–and lowered me into the blackness.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Drop her," Carlisle called.

I closed my eyes so I couldn't see the darkness, scrunching them together in terror, clamping my mouth shut so I wouldn't scream. Edward let me fall.

It was silent and short. The air whipped past me for just half a second, and then, with a huff as I exhaled, Carlisle's waiting arms caught me.

I was going to have bruises; his arms were very hard.

He stood me upright.

It was dim, but not black at the bottom. The light from the hole above provided a faint glow, reflecting wetly from the stones under my feet. The light vanished for a second, and then Edward was a faint, white radiance beside me. He put his arm around me, holding me close to his side, and began to tow me swiftly forward. I wrapped both arms around his cold waist, and tripped and stumbled my way across the uneven stone surface. The sound of the heavy grate sliding over the drain hole behind us rang with metallic finality.

The dim light from the street was quickly lost in the gloom. The sound of my staggering footsteps echoed through the black space; it sounded very wide, but I couldn't be sure. There were no sounds other than my frantic heartbeat and my feet on the wet stones–except for once, when an impatient sigh whispered from behind me.

Edward held me tightly. He reached his free hand across his body to hold my face, too, his smooth thumb tracing across my lips. Now and then, I felt his face press into my hair. I realized that this was the only reunion we would get, and I clutched myself closer to him.

For now, it felt like he wanted me, and that was enough to offset the horror of the subterranean tunnel and the prowling vampires behind us. It was probably no more than guilt–the same guilt that compelled him to come here to die when he'd believed that it was his fault that I'd killed myself. But I felt his lips press silently against my forehead, and I didn't care what the motivation was. At least I could be with him again before I died. That was better than a long life.

I wished I could ask him exactly what was going to happen now. I wanted desperately to know how we were going to die–as if that would somehow make it better, knowing in advance. But I couldn't speak, even in a whisper, surrounded as we were. The others could hear everything–my every breath, my every heartbeat.

The path beneath our feet continued to slant downward, taking us deeper into the ground, and it made me claustrophobic. Only Edward's hand, soothing against my face, kept me from screaming out loud.

I couldn't tell where the light was coming from, but it slowly turned dark gray instead of black. We were in a low, arched tunnel. Long trails of ebony moisture seeped down the gray stones, like they were bleeding ink.

I was shaking, and I thought it was from fear. It wasn't until my teeth started to chatter together that I realized I was cold. My clothes were still wet, and the temperature underneath the city was wintry. As was Edward's skin.

He realized this at the same time I did, and let go of me, keeping only my hand.

"N-n-no," I chattered, throwing my arms around him. I didn't care if I froze. Who knew how long we had left?

His cold hand chafed against my arm, trying to warm me with the friction.

We hurried through the tunnel, or it felt like hurrying to me. My slow progress irritated someone–I guessed Felix–and I heard him heave a sigh now and then.

At the end of the tunnel was a grate–the iron bars were rusting, but thick as my arm. A small door made of thinner, interlaced bars was standing open. Edward ducked through and hurried on to a larger, brighter stone room. The grille slammed shut with a _clang_, followed by the snap of a lock. I was too afraid to look behind me.

On the other side of the long room was a low, heavy wooden door. It was very thick–as I could tell because it, too, stood open.

We stepped through the door, and I glanced around me in surprise, relaxing automatically.

Beside me, Edward tensed, his jaw clenched tight.

* * *

I looked after I posted the last chapter, and I'll be using a lot of the book in the two chapters following this. I really wish I didn't have to use this much of the actual book, but I don't think I could write the story any other way. While I'm still using a lot of the book, I'm going to start updating every other day. That way I have some time to write.


	5. Chapter 5: Into the Fire

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 5 – And Into the Fire

* * *

We were in a brightly lit, unremarkable hallway. The walls were off-white, the floor carpeted in industrial gray. Common rectangular fluorescent lights were spaced evenly along the ceiling.

It was warmer here, for which I was grateful. This hall seemed very benign after the gloom of the ghoulish stone sewers.

Edward didn't seem to agree with my assessment. He glowered darkly down the long hallway, toward the slight, black shrouded figure at the end, standing by an elevator.

He pulled me along, and Carlisle walked on my other side. The heavy door creaked shut behind us, and then there was the thud of a bolt sliding home.

Jane waited by the elevator, one hand holding the doors open for us. Her expression was apathetic.

Once inside the elevator, the three vampires that belonged to the Volturi relaxed further. They threw back their cloaks, letting the hoods fall back on their shoulders. Felix and Demetri were both of a slightly olive complexion–it looked odd combined with their chalky pallor. Felix's black hair was cropped short, but Demetri's waved to his shoulders. Their irises were deep crimson around the edges, darkening until they were black around the pupil.

Under the shrouds, their clothes were modern, pale, and nondescript. I cowered in the corner, cringing against Edward. His hand still rubbed against my arm. He never took his eyes off Jane.

The elevator ride was short; we stepped out into what looked like a posh office reception area. The walls were paneled in wood, the floors carpeted in thick, deep green. There were no windows, but large, brightly lit paintings of the Tuscan countryside hung everywhere as replacements. Pale leather couches were arranged in cozy groupings, and the glossy tables held crystal vases full of vibrantly colored bouquets. The flowers' smell reminded me of a funeral home.

In the middle of the room was a high, polished mahogany counter. I gawked in astonishment at the woman behind it. She was tall, with dark skin and green eyes.

She would have been very pretty in any other company–but not here. Because she was every bit as human as I was. I couldn't comprehend what this human woman was doing here, totally at ease, surrounded by vampires.

She smiled politely in welcome. "Good afternoon, Jane," she said. There was no surprise in her face as she glanced at Jane's company. Not Edward, his bare chest glinting dimly in the white lights, or even me, disheveled and comparatively hideous.

Jane nodded. "Gianna." She continued toward a set of double doors in the back of the room, and we followed.

As Felix passed the desk, he winked at Gianna, and she giggled.

On the other side of the wooden doors was a different kind of reception. The pale boy in the pearl gray suit could have been Jane's twin. His hair was darker, and his lips were not as full, but he was just as lovely.

He came forward to meet us. He smiled, reaching for her. "Jane."

"Alec," she responded, embracing the boy. They kissed each other's cheeks on both sides. Then he looked at us.

"Carlisle! It has been some time since you last visited."

"Yes it has Alec"

"Welcome back, Edward," Alec greeted him. "You seem in a better mood."

"Marginally," Edward agreed in a flat voice. I glanced at Edward's hard face, and wondered how his mood could have been darker before.

Alec chuckled, and examined me as I clung to Edward's side. "And this is the cause of all the trouble?" he asked, skeptical.

Edward only smiled, his expression contemptuous. Then he froze.

"Dibs," Felix called casually from behind.

Edward turned, a low snarl building deep in his chest. Felix smiled–his hand was raised, palm up; he curled his fingers twice, inviting Edward forward.

Carlisle touched Edward's arm. "Patience," he cautioned him.

They exchanged a long glance, and I wished I could hear what he was telling him. I figured that it was something to do with not attacking Felix, because Edward took a deep breath and turned back to Alec.

"Aro will be so pleased to see you both again," Alec said, as if nothing had passed.

"Let's not keep him waiting," Jane suggested.

Edward nodded once.

Alec and Jane, holding hands, led the way down yet another wide, ornate hall–would there ever be an end?

They ignored the doors at the end of the hall–doors entirely sheathed in gold–stopping halfway down the hall and sliding aside a piece of the paneling to expose a plain wooden door. It wasn't locked. Alec held it open for Jane.

I wanted to groan when Edward pulled me through to the other side of the door. It was the same ancient stone as the square, the alley, and the sewers. And it was dark and cold again.

The stone antechamber was not large. It opened quickly into a brighter, cavernous room, perfectly round like a huge castle turret… which was probably exactly what it was.

Two stories up, long window slits threw thin rectangles of bright sunlight onto the stone floor below. There were no artificial lights. The only furniture in the room were several massive wooden chairs, like thrones, that were spaced unevenly, flush with the curving stone walls. In the very center of the circle, in a slight depression, was another drain. I wondered if they used it as an exit, like the hole in the street.

The room was not empty. A handful of people were convened in seemingly relaxed conversation. The murmur of low, smooth voices was a gentle hum in the air. As I watched, a pair of pale women in summer dresses paused in a patch of light, and, like prisms, their skin threw the light in rainbow sparkles against the sienna walls.

The exquisite faces all turned toward our party as we entered the room. Most of the immortals were dressed in inconspicuous pants and shirts–things that wouldn't stick out at all on the streets below. But the man who spoke first wore one of the long robes. It was pitch-black, and brushed against the floor. For a moment, I thought his long, jet-black hair was the hood of his cloak.

"Jane, dear one, you've returned!" he cried in evident delight. His voice was just a soft sighing.

He drifted forward, and the movement flowed with such surreal grace that I gawked, my mouth hanging open. Even Alice, whose every motion looked like dancing, could not compare.

I was only more astonished as he floated closer and I could see his face. It was not like the unnaturally attractive faces that surrounded him (for he did not approach us alone; the entire group converged around him, some following, and some walking ahead of him with the alert manner of bodyguards).

I couldn't decide if his face was beautiful or not. I suppose the features were perfect. But he was as different from the vampires beside him as they were from me. His skin was translucently white, like onionskin, and it looked just as delicate–it stood in shocking contrast to the long black hair that framed his face. I felt a strange, horrifying urge to touch his cheek, to see if it was softer than Edward's or Alice's, or if it was powdery, like chalk.

His eyes were red, the same as the others around him, but the color was clouded, milky; I wondered if his vision was affected by the haze.

He glided to Jane, took her face in his papery hands, kissed her lightly on her full lips, and then floated back a step.

"Yes, Master." Jane smiled; the expression made her look like an angelic child. "I brought him back alive, just as you wished."

"Ah, Jane." He smiled, too. "You are such a comfort to me."

He turned his misty eyes toward us, and the smile brightened–became ecstatic.

"And Carlisle and Bella, too!" he rejoiced, clapping his thin hands together. "This _is _a happy surprise! Wonderful!"

I stared in shock as he called our names informally, as if we were old friends dropping in for an unexpected visit.

He turned to our hulking escort. "Felix, be a dear and tell my brothers about our company. I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss this."

"Yes, Master." Felix nodded and disappeared back the way we had come.

"Carlisle, my old friend. I am overjoyed to see you again." He said as he moved forward and hugged Carlisle.

"You see, Edward?" The strange vampire turned and smiled at Edward like a fond but scolding grandfather.

"What did I tell you? Aren't you glad that I didn't give you what you wanted yesterday?"

"Yes, Aro, I am," he agreed, tightening his arm around my waist.

"I love a happy ending." Aro sighed. "They are so rare.

But I want the whole story. How did this happen? Carlisle?" He turned to gaze at Carlisle with curious, misty eyes. "Your son seemed to think your daughter infallible, but apparently there was some mistake."

"Oh, I assure you, Alice's visions are far from infallible." He flashed a dazzling smile. He looked perfectly at ease. "As you can see today, they cause problems as often as they cure them."

"You're too modest," Aro chided. "I've seen some of Alice's more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like her talent. Wonderful!"

I flickered a glance at Edward. Aro did not miss it.

Carlisle looked at me as he swiftly explained. "Aro needs physical contact to hear your thoughts, but he hears much more than Edward does. You know he can only hear what's passing through your head in the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had."

"Oh." I said, not really knowing what to say to that.

Aro didn't miss that either.

"But to be able to hear from a distance…" Aro sighed, gesturing toward the two of them, and the exchange that had just taken place. "That would be so _convenient_."

Aro looked over our shoulders. All the other heads turned in the same direction, including Jane, Alec, and Demetri, who stood silently beside us. I was the slowest to turn. Felix was back, and behind him floated two more black-robed men. Both looked very much like Aro, one even had the same flowing black hair. The other had a shock of snow-white hair–the same shade as his face–that brushed against his shoulders. Their faces had identical, paper-thin skin.

The trio from Carlisle's painting was complete, unchanged by the last three hundred years since it was painted.

"Marcus, Caius, look!" Aro crooned. "Bella is alive after all, and Carlisle is here with her! Isn't that wonderful?"

Neither of the other two looked as if _wonderful _would be their first choice of words. The dark-haired man seemed utterly bored, like he'd seen too many millennia of Aro's enthusiasm.

The other's face was sour under the snowy hair.

Their lack of interest did not curb Aro's enjoyment.

"Let us have the story," Aro almost sang in his feathery voice. The white-haired ancient vampire drifted away, gliding toward one of the wooden thrones. The other paused beside Aro, and he reached his hand out, at first I thought to take Aro's hand. But he just touched Aro's palm briefly and then dropped his hand to his side. Aro raised one black brow. I wondered how his papery skin did not crumple in the effort. Edward snorted very quietly, and I looked at him, curious.

"Thank you, Marcus," Aro said. "That's quite interesting."

I realized, a second late, that Marcus was letting Aro know his thoughts. Marcus didn't _look _interested. He glided away from Aro to join the one who must be Caius, seated against the wall. Two of the attending vampires followed silently behind him–bodyguards, like I'd thought before. I could see that the two women in the sundresses had gone to stand beside Caius in the same manner. The idea of any vampire needing a guard was faintly ridiculous to me, but maybe the ancient ones were as frail as their skin suggested.

Aro was shaking his head. "Amazing,"' he said. "Absolutely amazing."

Carlisle turned to me and explained again in a swift, low voice. "Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of mine and Edward's."

Aro smiled. "So convenient," he repeated to himself. Then he spoke to us. "It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you."

I looked at Marcus's dead face, and I believed that.

"It's just so difficult to understand, even now," Aro mused, staring at Edward's arm wrapped around me. It was hard for me to follow Aro's chaotic train of thought. I struggled to keep up. "How can you stand so close to her like that?"

"It's not without effort," Edward answered calmly.

"But still–_la tua cantante_! What a waste!"

Edward chuckled once without humor. "I look at it more as a price."

Aro was skeptical. "A very high price."

"Opportunity cost."

Aro laughed. "If I hadn't smelled her through your memories, I wouldn't have believed the call of anyone's blood could be so strong. I've never felt anything like it myself. Most of us would trade much for such a gift, and yet you…"

"Waste it," Edward finished, his voice sarcastic now.

Aro laughed again. "You remind me of Carlisle here–only he is not so angry."

"Carlisle outshines me in many other ways as well."

"I certainly never thought to see you bested for self-control of all things Carlisle, but Edward puts you to shame."

"Hardly." Edward sounded impatient. As if he was tired of the preliminaries. It made me more afraid; I couldn't help but try to imagine what he expected would follow.

"But _your _restraint!" Aro sighed. "I did not know such strength was possible. To inure yourself against such a siren call, not just once but again and again–if I had not felt it myself, I would not have believed."

Edward gazed back at Aro's admiration with no expression. I knew his face well enough–time had not changed that–to guess at something seething beneath the surface. I fought to keep my breathing even.

"Just remembering how she appeals to you…" Aro chuckled. "It makes me thirsty."

Edward tensed.

"Don't be disturbed," Aro reassured him. "I mean her no harm. But I am _so _curious, about one thing in particular." He eyed me with bright interest. "May I?" he asked eagerly, lifting one hand.

"Ask _her_," Edward suggested in a flat voice.

"Of course, how rude of me!" Aro exclaimed. "Bella," he addressed me directly now. "I'm fascinated that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent–so very interesting that such a thing should occur! And I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try–to see if you are an exception for _me_, as well?"

My eyes flashed up to Carlisle's face in terror. Despite Aro's overt politeness, I didn't believe I really had a choice. I was horrified at the thought of allowing him to touch me, and yet also perversely intrigued by the chance to feel his strange skin.

Carlisle nodded in encouragement–whether because he was sure Aro would not hurt me, or because there was no choice, I couldn't tell.

I turned back to Aro and raised my hand slowly in front of me. It was trembling.

He glided closer, and I believe he meant his expression to be reassuring. But his papery features were too strange, too alien and frightening, to reassure. The look on his face was more confident than his words had been.

Aro reached out, as if to shake my hand, and pressed his insubstantial-looking skin against mine. It was hard, but felt brittle–shale rather than granite–and even colder than I expected.

His filmy eyes smiled down at mine, and it was impossible to look away. They were mesmerizing in an odd, unpleasant way.

Aro's face altered as I watched. The confidence wavered and became first doubt, then incredulity before he calmed it into a friendly mask.

"So very interesting," he said as he released my hand and drifted back.

My eyes flickered to Edward, and, though his face was composed, I thought he seemed a little smug.

Aro continued to drift with a thoughtful expression. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes flickering between the three of us. Then, abruptly, he shook his head.

"A first," he said to himself "I wonder if she is immune to our other talents… Jane, dear?"

"No!" Edward snarled the word. Carlisle grabbed his arm with a restraining hand. He shook him off.

Little Jane smiled up happily at Aro. "Yes, Master?"

Edward was truly snarling now, the sound ripping and tearing from him, glaring at Aro with baleful eyes. The room had gone still, everyone watching him with amazed disbelief, as if he were committing some embarrassing social faux pas. I saw Felix grin hopefully and move a step forward. Aro glanced at him once, and he froze in place, his grin turning to a sulky expression.

Then he spoke to Jane. "I was wondering, my dear one, if Bella is immune _to you_."

I could barely hear Aro over Edward's furious growls. He let go of me, moving to hide me from their view. Caius ghosted in our direction, with his entourage, to watch.

Jane turned toward us with a beatific smile.

"Don't!" Carlisle cried as Edward launched himself at the little girl.

Before I could react, before anyone could jump between them, before Aro's bodyguards could tense, Edward was on the ground.

No one had touched him, but he was on the stone floor writhing in obvious agony, while I stared in horror.

Jane was smiling only at him now, and it all clicked together. What Alice had said about _formidable gifts_, why everyone treated Jane with such deference, and why Edward had thrown himself in her path before she could do that to me.

"Stop!" I shrieked, my voice echoing in the silence, jumping forward to put myself between them. But Carlisle threw his arms around me in an unbreakable grasp and ignored my struggles.

No sound escaped Edward's lips as he cringed against the stones. It felt like my head would explode from the pain of watching this.

"Jane," Aro recalled her in a tranquil voice. She looked up quickly, still smiling with pleasure, her eyes questioning. As soon as Jane looked away, Edward was still.

Aro inclined his head toward me.

Jane turned her smile in my direction.

I didn't even meet her gaze. I watched Edward from the prison of Carlisle's arms, still struggling pointlessly.

"He's fine," Carlisle whispered in a low voice. As he spoke, he sat up, and then sprang lightly to his feet. His eyes met mine, and they were horror-struck. At first I thought the horror was for what he had just suffered. But then he looked quickly at Jane, and back to me–and his face relaxed into relief.

I looked at Jane, too, and she no longer smiled. She glared at me, her jaw clenched with the intensity of her focus. I shrank back, waiting for the pain.

Nothing happened.

Edward was by my side again. He touched Carlisle's arm, and he surrendered me to him.

Aro started to laugh. "Ha, ha. ha," he chuckled. "This is wonderful!"

Jane hissed in frustration, leaning forward like she was preparing to spring.

"Don't be put out, dear one," Aro said in a comforting tone, placing a powder-light hand on her shoulder. "She confounds us all."

Jane's upper lip curled back ever her teeth as she continued to glare at me.

"Ha, ha, ha," Aro chortled again. "You're very brave, Edward, to endure in silence. I asked Jane to do that to me once–just out of curiosity." He shook his head in admiration.

Edward glared, disgusted.

"So what do we do with you now?" Aro sighed.

Edward and Carlisle stiffened. This was the part they'd been waiting for. I began to tremble.

"I don't suppose there's any chance that you've changed your mind?" Aro asked Edward hopefully. "Your talent would be an excellent addition to our little company."

Edward hesitated. From the corner of my eye, I saw both Felix and Jane grimace.

Edward seemed to weigh each word before he spoke it. "I'd… rather… not."

"And you, Bella?" Aro raised his eyebrows.

Edward hissed, low in my ears. I stared at Aro blankly. Was he joking? Or was he really asking me if I wanted to stay for dinner?

It was the white-haired Caius who broke the silence.

"What?" he demanded of Aro; his voice, though no more than a whisper, was flat.

"Caius, surely you see the potential," Aro chided him affectionately.

"I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?"

Caius looked away with a caustic expression. Jane's eyes sparked with indignation at the comparison.

Edward fumed beside me. I could hear a rumble in his chest, building toward a growl. I couldn't let his temper get him hurt.

"No, thank you," I spoke up in barely more than a whisper, my voice breaking in fright.

Aro sighed. "That's unfortunate. Such a waste."

Edward hissed. "Join or die, is that it? I suspected as much when we were brought to _this _room. So much for your laws."

The tone of his voice surprised me. He sounded irate, but there was something deliberate about his delivery–as if he'd chosen his words with great care.

"Of course not." Aro blinked, astonished. "We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. Not for you."

"Aro," Caius hissed. "The law claims them."

Edward glared at Caius. "How so?" he demanded. He must have known what Caius was thinking, but he seemed determined to make him speak it aloud.

Caius pointed a skeletal finger at me. "She knows too much. You have exposed our secrets." His voice was papery thin, just like his skin.

"There are a few humans in on your charade here, as well," Edward reminded him, and I thought of the pretty receptionist below.

Caius's face twisted into a new expression. Was it supposed to be a smile?

"Yes," he agreed. "But when _they _are no longer useful to us, they will serve to sustain us. That is not your plan for this one. If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not," he scoffed.

"I wouldn't–," I began, still whispering. Caius silenced me with an icy look.

"Nor do you intend to make her one of us," Caius continued. "Therefore, she is a vulnerability. Though it is true, for this, only _her _life is forfeit. You may leave if you wish."

Edward bared his teeth.

"That's what I thought," Caius said, with something akin to pleasure. Felix leaned forward, eager.

"Unless…" Aro interrupted. He looked unhappy with the way the conversation had gone.

"Unless you do intend to give her immortality?"

Edward pursed his lips, hesitating for a moment before he answered. "And if I do?"

Aro smiled, happy again. "Why, then you would be free to go home." His expression turned more hesitant. "But I'm afraid you would have to mean it."

Aro raised his hand in front of him.

Caius, who had begun to scowl furiously, relaxed.

Edward's lips tightened into a fierce line. He stared into my eyes, and I stared back.

"Mean it," I whispered. "Please."

Was it really such a loathsome idea? Would he rather _die _than change me? I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach.

Edward stared down at me with a tortured expression.

"Alas, he does not wish to give you immortality. Such a waste. But you smell so good, I think I will take the first taste." Aro said, shaking his head as he walked toward me. I knew this was the end. In my mind, I said goodbye to Charlie, Jake, Renee, and everyone else I would miss.

But before I could close my eyes to brace myself, I saw a blur pass in front of me.

"I will not let you touch her." I heard someone say in front of me in a strained, determined voice. I looked and I saw Carlisle holding Aro by the neck against the closest wall. I spared Edward a glance. He seems just as surprised.

"Is this insignificant–though unique–human girl really worth it Carlisle? You know the law. You would be hunted down if you kill me. No place on this earth could hide you." Aro said.

The friendly façade that had graced his face was entirely gone. His expression was now one of anger, disbelief, and a spark of fear.

Looking at Carlisle, I could barely tell it was him. I always admitted, in the back of my mind at least, that Carlisle looked like an angel. He was always calm and serene. Now, he looked anything but that. Instead of being the comforting, gentle angel I'd always thought of, he was the exact opposite. Carlisle now reminded me of an angry, wrathful angel, preparing to do battle with demons or some other evil creatures.

For the first time, I could see how Carlisle could have survived among the Volturi.

"I know the consequences. Yet, I'm still willing to tear you to shreds without a second thought." Carlisle whispered. His voice was soft and quiet, but it echoed throughout the room.

* * *

I thought this would be a good place to end this chapter. I know I'm evil for leaving you all on such a suspenseful cliff-hanger. You'll see why I did it in the next chapter though. I know I said I would post a new chapter every other day, but I don't think I can write that fast, so I'm going to be posting every three days instead. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and to everyone that's actually reading this. Which is a bit more than the reviews suggest. I don't mind though. Just keep in mind that if I get lots of good reviews, I'm more likely to ignore things like laundry, homework, and meals to spend more time writing. I hate authors that hold chapters hostage because of lack of reviews. If you're writing fanfiction, you're writing because you enjoy it, not because you want recognition. By the way, does anyone know where I got the title from? I'm just kind of curious if anyone can guess. Sorry, I just realized this is a rather long author's note. I'm feeling talkative I guess


	6. Chapter 6: The Revelation

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 6 - The Revelation

* * *

"_I will not let you touch her." I heard someone say in front of me in a strained, determined voice. I looked and I saw Carlisle holding Aro by the neck against the closest wall. I spared Edward a glance. He seems just as surprised._

_"Is this insignificant–though unique–human girl really worth it Carlisle? You know the law. You would be hunted down if you kill me. No place on this earth could hide you." Aro said. _

_The friendly façade that had graced his face was entirely gone. His expression was now one of anger, disbelief, and a spark of fear._

_Looking at Carlisle, I could barely tell it was him. I always admitted, in the back of my mind at least, that Carlisle looked like an angel. He was always calm and serene. Now, he looked anything but that. Instead of being the comforting, gentle angel I'd always thought of, he was the exact opposite. Carlisle now reminded me of an angry, wrathful angel, preparing to do battle with demons or some other evil creatures._

_For the first time, I could see how Carlisle could have survived among the Volturi._

_"I know the consequences. Yet, I'm still willing to tear you to shreds without a second thought." Carlisle whispered. His voice was soft and quiet, but it echoed throughout the room._

"Enough." I heard in a sharp, commanding tone. The voice was quiet, but it rang in my ears. I suddenly felt the instant need to do whatever that voice told me to do, but at the same time, I also felt safe and comfortable. It reminded me of a grandmother singing a soft lullaby to her infant grandchild.

I looked to the other side of the room where the voice came from, and saw the most beautiful creature that I had ever seen.

The first thing I noticed was her skin. It was pale, but not the ghostly pale I had grown used to seeing on vampires. It could pass as a human skin tone, but just barely.

I then slowly took in the rest of the strange vampire's appearance.

Her face vaguely resembled a picture of an ancient Egyptian bust that I had once seen in a textbook. She had large, expressive oval eyes, high cheekbones, and a long, thin neck. Her hair was long, and the darkest black I had ever seen. It was then that I noticed the color of her eyes.

They were the same honey tone that Carlisle and Edward's eyes were, but the irises were outlined in red. I could feel her power pouring off of her, and knew that she was dangerous, even more so than the Volturi. However, I still felt safer with her here. I knew somehow that she wouldn't actually hurt me, and wouldn't let any of the other vampires in the room either.

"I leave for three days and I return to find you squabbling like infants. I am very disappointed. Carlisle, let go of Aro." The new vampire commanded.

She sounded like a mother who had left the room for five minutes, and came back to find her children fighting. Even though she was speaking to them, I still felt like a child that had just been scolded for trying to steal out of the cookie jar.

As she spoke, I noticed that she didn't have any type of accent. I also saw what she was wearing for the first time. Before I had been too focused on her face to notice.

She was wearing this black, strapless dress that stopped just above her knee. The dress flowed like a sheet hanging in the wind, and she had a blood red belt that was fastened high up on her torso. She had on silver, high heel sandals with thick straps that wound themselves up her legs to her knees.

"Carlisle, let go of him now." The strange woman said to him again. The sharp, commanding tone had returned, but this time it was also laced with a warning.

I looked over to see Carlisle let go of Aro's neck and back a couple feet away from him.

She then looked at me.

"This is Isabella then?"

As she asked this, she slowly turned to look at Carlisle, leaving no doubt who she had been speaking to.

I quickly glanced at Edward and saw a look of utter betrayal on his face, directed at Carlisle.

"Yes."

"Then I take it you would not mind formally introducing her to me?" The woman asked. There was no way that you couldn't tell it was more of a command then a question.

Slowly, Carlisle walked toward me. When he reached me, he rubbed my back. I felt better, just for a moment. He led me towards her, and stopped about five feet in front of her.

"Bella, this is Nakhara, an old friend of mine. Nakhara, this is Bella Swan, the girl I mentioned to you." Carlisle said. His voice was calm and comforting as always, but I noticed a bit of an edge.

Nakhara. Her name matched her. It sounded ancient, powerful, eternal. I remembered what I'd felt when she first spoke. It definitely matched her.

I took a moment to look at the other vampires in the room. All of them were looking at Nakhara. Each of their faces held the same emotions – Fear, Reverence, Respect, and Submission – and I realized something. Nakhara was older than the Volturi. – much older – and she was a lot more powerful than they were.

"Thank you Carlisle. It appears you still have your manners." Nakhara said to him in a condescending tone as she moved closer to me, her eyes never leaving my face.

"You're welcome Nakhara. How was your hunt?" Carlisle answered in one of the most polite tones I had ever heard. His hand was still on my back. It was soothing. I felt completely safe – I knew he would never let anything hurt me.

Nakhara's eyes kept moving between me and Carlisle as she answered. "Quite well, thank you for asking. I found this new place in the African savannah that has excellent cheetah. You should try it sometime. I know you have a certain preference for large felines."

I looked at Carlisle confused, and he quickly explained. "Nakhara is unique among vampires. She drinks both animal and human blood. Over the centuries, she has found human blood," he hesitated for a moment, "less appealing. So, to supplement her needs, she has taken to hunting animals, while becoming more selective about the human blood she does consume. Meeting her and observing her lifestyle only strengthened my decision about the life I wanted to lead."

She snorted and smiled at him. "Your flattery still needs work."

"I'm well aware. You inform me of that every time I see you." Carlisle said, giving Nakhara a slight smile.

It suddenly struck me that Carlisle was attempting small talk, and the only reason I could come up with was that he was trying to keep her attention off me. Unfortunately, as I realized this, she decided to turn her attention back to me.

"So, it appears that Isabella here is not only immune to Edward's powers, but Aro and Jane's as well. I had excepted as much when you first told me of her." Nakhara told Carlisle.

I looked at the floor, trying my hardest to become invisible.

"You did mention that in your emails. What are you planning on doing with her?"

Nakhara smiled as she answered Carlisle. "I want to speak with Isabella personally before I decide whether or not I want to drain her."

Carlisle growled and moved me behind him.

"You gave me your word!" He yelled at her.

Nakhara just kept smiling. Suddenly, Carlisle was throw back against the wall by some unseen force.

"Do not forget who you are speaking to Carlisle."

She said that in the same sharp, commanding, and warning tone as before as she took the few steps that put her directly in front of me, that smile still on her face. Somehow I knew she was the one who threw him against the wall.

As she stood in front of me, I saw my options. They were either going to turn me or kill me. If they turned me, my greatest desire would be granted, but if they just killed me, it would be exactly what I thought was going to happen when I agreed to come here to stop Edward.

Either way, I had nothing to lose, so I looked directly at Nakhara.

For some reason, she seemed pleased at my choice.

"Good. I thought I was going to have to make you look at me. Feel free to speak your mind Isabella. I have several questions I want you to answer, and I want honest, complete answers."

As she said this, she slowly moved around me in a circle until she was facing my back, her hands playing with my hair. She lent down and whispered those last three words in my ear, but I knew that it was loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

"What questions did you have in mind?" I asked her in a neutral tone.

I was not about to show how nervous I was to anyone.

She smiled at my answer. "My first question – why would you even bother coming here to save Edward after he left you? Not only did he leave you, his departure forced you to place your life in the hands of werewolves. Young, unstable werewolves at that."

I took a moment to breathe, and then I asked her the first thing that popped into my head.

"How do you know about Jacob?"

Nakhara sighed. "I can smell the wet dog on you. I also know about Carlisle's treaty with the local pack. He didn't know they were phasing, which means it started recently."

I nodded. "Jake has only been phasing for a few weeks."

She frowned and shook her head. "Like I said, young and unstable. I told Carlisle that Victoria wouldn't waste her time with Edward, that she would go directly for you."

I looked at her and stared. "Did he tell you everything?" I asked.

She looked at him for a moment, then answered. "Carlisle has told me every last detail about you, including what happened on your birthday."

"Oh."

I had nothing to say to that.

"So why did you come?" She asked, reminding me of her original question.

I took a deep breath and answered.

"Even if Edward doesn't love me, I couldn't let him kill himself out of guilt."

She stared at me for a moment and then asked an even harder question.

"Do you still love him?"

I took a minute to think about how to answer this one.

"Yes, and a part of me always will." I answered finally.

Why is she asking me these questions? Didn't she know that they hurt?

She asked another difficult question. Probably the most difficult of all.

"If he asked you, would you take him back? Would you forget that these past months even happened? Would you forgive him without at least an apology?"

I thought about it for a moment, and started to speak. Before the words left my mouth, I remembered something that Leah told me a few weeks ago: 'No matter how much love there is between two people, when or if it ends, you still have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and be proud of who that person is.'

As I thought about those words, I remembered the past several months. No, I relived it. I felt every emotion as if I were feeling it for the first time. When it was over, I knew my answer.

"I can never forget the past few months. It shattered my trust and faith in him, and I don't know if I can forgive him for that, let alone be able to take him back. I can live without him. When he left, I didn't think I could, but now I know I can. Seeing him again gave me the closure I needed. I can let go of him and move on. Exactly like he wants me to.

I realize now that when I fell apart after he left, I wasn't just mourning him, I was mourning the loss of my family and a life that I had come to long for, but now could never have."

Everything was silent. I could hear the sounds of the festival outside if I strained my ear. I looked over to Edward. He couldn't even look at me.

I looked over at Carlisle, and made eye contact with him for just a moment.

His expression looked so pained, so tortured, that I couldn't help but want to make that pain go away.

But Nakhara had other plans.

"Does that mean you are willing to become an immortal?"

I took another deep breath and answered her question.

"Yes. I have nothing to lose from it, but everything to gain."

She smiled again, and I knew my answer pleased her. There had to be a reason why she was doing this.

"I was never going to actually drain you Isabella, or let anyone else for that matter. I simply wanted to see Carlisle snap, even if it was just a little." She told me.

I realized what she was doing.

I took another deep breath and started to tell her my theory.

"You asked me those questions to punish Carlisle and Edward, didn't you? You knew that while it'd be hard for me to answer those questions, you also knew my answers would probably hurt them." I said in a hollow voice.

Nakhara stared at me for a moment, then she answered my accusation.

"Correct. Do you know why I'm punishing them?"

I had to think about that for a few moments, then I gave my answer in the same hollow voice.

"I can think of a couple reasons why Carlisle is on your shit list right now, but Edward is a little bit harder to figure out."

She burst out laughing at that. Her laughter was high and clear. Like everything else about her, it felt absolutely ancient and eternal. After a few moments, her laughter faded and she stared at me again.

Then she spoke, mirth still in her voice.

"I would like to hear your theory."

"Why?"

It was the first thing that came to mind. I didn't mean to say it out loud though. I looked at Nakhara. She was smiling again.

"I am curious to how much you have been told, and how well you understand exactly what we are." She told me as she started playing with my hair again.

I took a moment, and then started to tell her.

"Carlisle challenged you. If there's one thing I've learned about vampires, you all are lethal. I have a feeling most of you grow more powerful with age. You never mess with someone stronger than you, unless you want to be torn apart. From what I've seen, you're the most powerful vampire in the room, as well as the oldest. I know you're older than the Volturi. Much older."

She chuckled and continued to play with my hair, brushing it with her fingers.

"I can tell most of that was guesswork. It takes most newborns years to figure out what you did in five to ten minutes. You also guessed what I was doing to Carlisle and Edward before half of the vampires in this room realized there was an ulterior motive to my questioning. You are perceptive, even more so than I was led to believe."

I saw her look at Carlisle, still crumpled against the wall, when she said that last sentence.

"Is there anything you would like to add to your theory Isabella?" She whispered in my ear.

I looked back to Edward, and something in my brain clicked.

"If you're as old as I think you are, questioning your parents just didn't happen. Edward is Carlisle's son in every way that counts, and he's been influencing, if not all out dictating, his actions since my birthday. You're also mad at Carlisle for listening to Edward, and mad at Edward for even daring to question Carlisle.

You're even more furious with them both because, if you're as close to Carlisle as you seem to be, you must have drilled that into his brain since he was first turned."

It was quiet for a moment, and then Nakhara asked me another question.

"What do you think I am to Carlisle?"

"I think you found him shortly after he was turned and became his mentor. You taught him what it means to be a vampire. At least your definition anyways. I have a feeling that it's slightly different from the Volturi's." I told her without a second of hesitation.

It was quiet again for a moment. Then I heard her breathless whisper in my ear.

"You are absolutely remarkable."

It was a quiet whisper. I could barely hear it, but I knew that every other person in room could hear it just fine.

Nakhara's hands left my hair, and she started to slowly circle me. Her eyes never left my face. She did this for a minute or two, observing me the whole time. Finally, she stopped directly in from of me.

"I am curious Isabella, how old do you think I am?" She asked me, her intense gaze still on my face.

I looked at her for a second, and then I answered her.

"Carlisle told me that the Volturi have held this city for over twenty-three hundred years. Based on that, I'm pretty sure that they're around twenty-five hundred years old. You are at least a thousand years older than that. Putting your birth around 2000 B.C. sounds about right, but I wouldn't be surprised if you were a few centuries older."

She looked surprised for just a second, and then smiled at me again.

"Why do you think I'm that old?" She asked me as she started to circle me again.

"I used to be into ancient Egyptian history when I was little. You remind me of Nefertiti, except you seem much older than the 18th dynasty. That puts you around 2000 B.C." I calmly explained.

Her smile widened. "Do you want to know how old the Aro, Caius, Marcus, and Carlisle think I am?"

I was confused. "Don't they know how old you are?"

She shook her head. "No. I've never told any vampire exactly how old I am. Watching them guess is entertaining."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "I can understand that."

Nakhara looked at me, a grin on her face now. "Aro, Caius, and Marcus don't' believe that I could be more than five hundred years older than them. Carlisle, however, seems to think I cannot be more than a thousand years older than them."

"Oh. Is there a reason behind that?" I asked.

I'm making an idiot out of myself.

"No. They simply cannot imagine a four thousand year old vampire. I have to admit I'm impressed though. Not only did you guess the right country, but your guess is closer than theirs." She told me, grinning like crazy.

On her, it made her look even scarier than when Jane smiled before she tried to use her gift on me. I wasn't scared though. I didn't feel so stupid anymore either.

"Really?" I asked, kind of surprised that Carlisle was wrong about something.

"Yes. My father was Menes I."

I looked at her for a moment in disbelief.

"The king that united Upper and Lower Egypt?"

She laughed. I saw that she was getting some perverse pleasure out of this.

"Yes. I was his eldest child, the first of five daughters. My brother, his only son, was the youngest of his six children. Out of the six children that he sired, only my brother and I reached adulthood. I was turned a few months after my nineteenth birthday, days after I gave birth to my first child, a daughter. That would put my birth at 3000 B.C., give or take a few years."

All of the vampires in the room were absolutely floored. They were completely silent for almost a minute.

"Five thousand years." I heard one of them gasp breathlessly. I think it was Aro, but I'm not sure.

Nakhara burst out in laughter at this. She looked like her sides would burst open, if that was possible for a vampire. After a few minutes, her laughter faded, but she still had this huge smile on her face. She also looked very pleased with herself.

"Their reactions were worth losing one of my secrets." She said, looking at me with this weird look. It was almost as if she was proud that my guess had been closer.

All of a sudden I realized that she was proud of me.

"You were testing me, weren't you?" I asked, staring at her determinedly.

She looked at me before answering.

"Yes I was. Do you know why?"

I looked at her and shook my head. I was really confused.

She gave me a comforting smile.

And then she told me why she was testing me.

"I was considering turning you into an immortal."

I couldn't breathe. I became very nervous. She seemed to notice this and took pity on me.

* * *

And that is Chapter 6. I had lots of reviews that made me happy. I'm still in the middle of Chapter 7 though. I know I left you on another cliff hanger, even if it was smaller. If I hadn't I would have given you a 6000 word chapter instead. Probably would have been more than that actually. I wouldn't get used to this though. I'm a slow typer, so it's almost torture for me to write chapters that are this long. I promise that every chapter will be 1000 words minimum though. I feel like a giddy mad scientist right now. You all are probably thinking 'What the hell?' and I know what's going to happen. Our favorite vegetarian vampires and their human companion will leave the Volturi in the next chapter though. Hope everyone (at least everyone who celebrates it) has a good thanksgiving.


	7. Chapter 7: The Monster Beneath

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 7 – The Monster Beneath

* * *

_"You were testing me, weren't you?" I asked, staring at her determinedly._

_She looked at me before answering._

_"Yes I was. Do you know why?"_

_I looked at her and shook my head. I was really confused._

_She gave me a comforting smile._

_And then she told me why she was testing me._

_"I was considering turning you into an immortal."_

_I couldn't breathe. I became very nervous. She seemed to notice this and took pity on me._

"Do not worry Isabella, you will make a breathtaking creature of the night."

With that one sentence, my entire life was changed. From her tone, I knew that she would turn me, no matter what. The thing I have wanted most since discovering that Edward was a vampire was about to come true.

I moved closer to her and Nakhara's voice stopped me.

"I refuse to turn you until your twenty-first birthday. I am sure that there are at least a few human experiences you want before you surrender yourself to the rest of eternity."

I stared at her, thinking. There wasn't much I wanted to do, but one thing came to mind.

With their super hearing, every Cullen had probably heard that conversation I had with Edward about my virginity this past summer, and how he refused to take it when I offered it to him. And since Carlisle knew, he most likely had mentioned it to Nakhara.

As that thought crossed my mind, I stared at the floor again, wishing it really would swallow me whole. The instant I thought that, I saw a blur in front of me.

With her vampire speed, she turned me around to face Carlisle and held me from behind, her gaze solely on his form.

Sometime since I had last looked at him, he had stood up. I felt her bend down so her mouth was right next to my ear.

"Does Carlisle not look like a Christian angel?" She asked. It was barely a whisper, but I somehow knew that the whole room had heard it.

I looked at Carlisle. The minute the words left her mouth, he stiffened. He wasn't moving, or even breathing. He was completely still.

I guess I had taken too long to answer, because Nakhara's whisper was in my ear again.

"Speak your mind Isabella. That is one of the greatest gifts we are given with our rebirth. We do not have to hold back."

I took a breath before answering.

"That thought has crossed my mind more than once." I told her.

I could feel her smile from behind me.

Then in an almost reverent, worshipful tone, she whispered, "The calm, serene man you have come to know was not always there. I remember him as a young vampire. He was sadistic, vengeful, ruthless, domineering, bloodthirsty – although not in the vampiric sense – and so angry. I especially remember having to physically restrain him so he would not turn his own father – just for the satisfaction of watching him go through the process and tasting human blood for the first time, and then ripping him apart afterwards. He was glorious to watch."

"What?"

I yanked myself out of her grasp and turned to stare at her. I couldn't even figure out what to say to that. I knew she was telling the truth though. She had no reason to lie to me.

I turned around again to look at Carlisle, but he couldn't bring himself to look at me. I then glanced at Edward. He was just as dumbstruck as I was.

Nakhara was quick to explain what she was talking about, but not without interruptions.

"I think I should explain. What I told you was completely out of context. In the situation surrounding those actions, Carlisle was completely justified."

I stared at her, confusion written all over my face.

"I don't think informing her of what I was like as a newborn is going to help you much." Carlisle told her.

She laughed before answering him. "That is not why I am doing this."

"Then why are you doing this?"

She looked at him before answering.

"Why do you ask a question you know the answer to? I remember when I first met Carlisle. It was the winter of 1652. I –"

Carlisle interrupted her.

"Nakhara, please don't do this."

His voice had a pleading tone to it. I could also hear the desperation in it.

Nakhara answered his plea, but not the way he wanted her to.

"Do not interrupt me again."

The need to obey that I'd felt earlier had returned. It instantly made sense. I turned to her and asked.

"You have some sort of physical control over other vampires, don't you? That's why no one except Carlisle has tried to even bother speaking since you showed up. All of them are too scared."

She gave me this knowing smile before answering.

"Yes. I am curious though, how did you come to the conclusion so quickly? It took Aro, Marcus, and Caius an entire year after I turned them to realize that I had that power."

I thought about my answer before I said it aloud.

"I noticed earlier when you told Carlisle to let Aro go that I felt this need to obey. I felt it again just now."

Every vampire in the room went still. They weren't even breathing. After about a minute and a half I heard one of them speak in disbelief.

"That is not possible."

I wasn't sure who it was. I thought it might have been Aro again, or maybe even Caius this time.

I looked at her confused. What did they mean it wasn't possible? Behind me, I heard Carlisle explain.

"Nakhara's ability is only supposed to work on vampires. It's never worked on a human before. That pull you felt is her power. You shouldn't have felt it at all. Is Bella what you think she is?"

That last question was aimed directly at Nakhara. She stared at him directly and answered him.

"Yes."

Carlisle looked at her and nodded.

I started asking the questions that has formed in mind.

"So you have absolute physical control over other vampires? Is that how you threw Carlisle against the wall? What do think I am exactly? And how did you know him when he was human?" I asked her, curiosity laced in my voice.

She smiled at me again before answering. This time, however, it was a sad smile.

"To answer your first question Isabella, no. I do not have absolute control over others of my race. The amount of control I have depends on the vampire I am trying to control. The older and more powerful a vampire is, the more difficult it is to control them. In few centuries, I doubt I will be able to control Aro, Caius, and Marcus at all. If I can, it will be very weak. More like an influence than outright control. If you give Carlisle another thousand years, I doubt I will be able to control him either. It is not like I actually need that ability, it simply makes things easier." She calmly explained.

I couldn't contain myself. The questions just flowed out of my mouth.

"What do you mean you don't need it? And why would you lose your ability to control Carlisle more quickly than with the others?"

She looked at me before answering.

"You caught on quickly. In addition to my limited control of others, I can manipulate fire. I also have a very strong form of telekinesis and a weakened form of Edward's gift. The only one that is actually mine is the telekinesis. As for Carlisle, he has the power of a vampire twice his age, and like the rest of us, he will grow stronger with time."

I was still very confused.

"What do you mean? Is it possible to steal other vampire's powers?"

A grief-stricken expression crossed Nakhara's face before she answered.

"It is possible, but only under one situation, and I destroyed the only means of bringing about that situation over five thousand years ago."

She stopped for a moment before starting again.

"The first vampire, the Mother of All as she is referred to now, had the ability to gain the powers of other vampires by draining them dry in addition to being able to control other vampires. Her power was absolute. Mine is a shadow of hers. She was over five thousand years old when I was turned.

In that last millennia before I became an immortal, she had slowly gone insane. By the time my mate had turned me, she was beyond help. My mate and I, along with five others that she had personally turned, had no choice but to destroy her.

It was impossible to tear her apart and burn the pieces. She would have just ordered us to stop. We had no choice but to drain her dry and hope that it would be enough.

To place that action into context, it is one of the greatest sacrilegious things a vampire can do. The only other actions I can recall that are just as horrible are killing you mate and killing your maker.

She killed three of us before she began losing enough blood to weaken her powers. The rest of us took turns draining her. I was the last to drain her and I drank slightly more than the others. Thankfully it did work. I sometimes question if the price I paid for her life was truly worthwhile." Nakhara said. You could hear the sadness and pain in her voice. Five thousand years' worth.

"We all gained her ability to control others, but I was slightly stronger than the other three. Our victory did not last. Over the next thousand years, the others started to go insane, just as she had done.

The first to succumb was Gemekaa. She was a Sumerian priestess only a couple centuries old. She had been turned as punishment after her family refused to pay tribute. It only took two hundred years after the Mother of All's death.

We discovered that tearing her apart and burning her would not work. Apparently in addition to her power, the Mother of All was near invincible. The only way we could have killed her was to drain her dry, and that was something we all inherited when we drank her blood. My mate was the one that destroyed her.

The next to give in to the madness was Mijararos. He was around five hundred years old when I was turned. I was the one to destroy him, about six hundred years afterwards. He could actually create fire out of thin air. My ability to control fire is a mere phantom of this gift.

The last was my mate, Dayros. It happened just three hundred years after Mijararos. I tried everything to help him, but nothing worked. Over the past nine hundred years, I had watched over and cared for my daughter and her descendants. I loved each of them as if I had borne them myself.

Dayros grew jealous and decided to kill them. I chose to protect my descendants, and destroyed him in the process. He had a gift much like Edward's. When I drained him, I gained a weaker form of his gift. I cannot actually read the thoughts of others, but I can guess very easily and I am almost never wrong.

After we killed Gemekaa, we tested ourselves to see if we could steal the powers of others like the Mother of All could. It did not work to say the least. The only powers we could ever steal were each other's."

After Nakhara finished her story, I stared at her for a moment. She looked so sad. A few seconds later, she turned to me again.

"I believe you had more questions, and I have a story to tell you. I have answered your questions about my control and how I threw Carlisle against the wall. As to what I know you are, that indirectly ties into my story and your second question. I will tell you the story of Carlisle's fledging vampire years, and then fill in the blanks if you can't. I think you will be able to on your own though. Is that alright?"

I nodded and looked at Carlisle. He had a nervous look on his face, but not one bit of confusion.

"You know what I am, don't you Carlisle?" I asked as I looked at him.

His expression changed from nervous to guilty before he answered. "I have an idea of what she thinks you are."

I looked at Edward and he had this mixture of frustration and confusion on his face. Was Carlisle somehow blocking his thoughts from Edward?

"Egyptian or Hindi?" I heard Nakhara say to Carlisle.

"Persian actually. Why do you ask?"

"Isabella is wondering how you are keeping your thoughts from Edward. Should I explain or would you like to? She inquired as she came up behind me and started playing with my hair yet again.

"I'll explain. When Edward and I first discovered his ability, I told Nakhara about it. Her advice was to think in a foreign language. Thinking in Italian worked very well at first. Over time, finding a language Edward doesn't know has become more difficult." He explained.

"Oh." I had absolutely nothing to add to that.

"And now, onto the story." She said.

I couldn't help it, I had to ask her.

"You're really getting some perverse pleasure out of all this aren't you?"

She laughed again before answering. "Five thousand years is a long time. I have to keep myself amused somehow."

"I really can't argue with that."

"I should start from the beginning. I first met Carlisle in the winter of 1652. I was visiting someone and he was friends with their daughter. He – "

I had to open my big mouth. "Who were you visiting?"

Nakhara gave me a slight smile before answering. "My daughter's descendants, Emma and Elizabeth James. Carlisle was Elizabeth's best friend. They were brother and sister in all but blood and name. He was about twelve at the time. If you think he looks like an angel now, you should have seen him before he began to mature. He looked so innocent, so pure. I thought the gods were punishing me."

I looked at her with a curious expression and she was quick to explain.

"What you are to Edward now was what Carlisle was to me then."

"Aro mentioned a term to describe it earlier." I told her, trying to remember what it was.

"Yes. La Tua Cantante. The literal translation is your singer. I was the first one to use that term, and it was to describe his blood. It reminded me of the call of a siren in Greek mythology. It was so seductive. If it had not been for my forty-five hundred years' worth of control I would have drained him at that moment. Singers make powerful – and unusual – immortals. It is sad that most do not have the control to turn their singers. Although you are different from most singers Isabella."

I looked at her and opened my big mouth again.

"How am I different?"

"Most singers only appeal to one vampire, and tend to blend in with most humans to any other vampire. You are unusually appealing to most vampires. I am most likely the most selective vampire on the planet when it comes to human blood, and your blood is appealing to me. Carlisle, who is all but immune to the smell of human blood, can smell yours from miles away. Young Edward's control has to rival mine in order to be as close to you as he was. I will give him that at least." Nakhara informed me. I couldn't help but hear a bitter tone in that last sentence.

"So you left him untouched that day. What happened next?" I begged her to continue. I wanted to learn what could have made Carlisle act like that.

"I met him again about two years later. It was a Sunday in the summer of 1654. I introduced myself and we started talking. We spent the entire day talking as we walked through the streets of London. About two hours into our conversation, he explained that he knew I was not human and asked me what I was. I had already decided to turn him, so I told him not only what I was, but also my decision to turn him.

He had the most unusual reaction for a human. He calmly asked when I was going to turn him and if it would hurt."

She took a break to turn me so I was facing Carlisle again. Her mouth was then at my ear again.

"That is one of the reasons he is so fond of you. You remind him of what he was like in his human life. I once witnessed him trip over a quill. His lack of self-preservation surpassed even yours. He actually offered me his blood once.

I spent that day and the following six years learning every detail I could about him. I visited off and on, much more than I would have otherwise. Since he could actually read, every time I would see him I would give him another book to read and discuss with me. I had to do something to counter his father's awful influence. Then the autumn of 1660 came."

Nakhara's voice filled with sorrow at those last two sentences. I looked at Carlisle's face. He had closed his eyes and seemed to be in complete and utter agony.

I took a minute and then slowly asked the question on my mind.

"What happened?"

"By this point, Emma was long dead. When she was sixteen, Elizabeth married a man named William Carpenter. His family did glasswork. It was a stable, decent income. I hated the man, but Elizabeth did not have much of a choice. The only other choice she had was Carlisle, and his father refused to allow him to marry her. It was during this time that we finally found out why."

I could hear the anger beginning to pour into her voice. Her anger wrapped around her spread throughout the room. I noticed some of the vampires in the room flinch and back themselves into the walls.

Despite everything, I felt completely safe.

"The family that lived next door to Elizabeth and her husband had suffered a miscarriage two years before and had not been able to conceive since then. Elizabeth was almost eight months along with her first child. The neighbor's wife, jealous and angry, accused Elizabeth of being a witch and stealing her ability to bear children. Carlisle's father, William, and a few others arrested her. They waited until she gave birth a week later. No matter what Carlisle did, he never found out what happened to the child, a son, until after he was turned. After the child was born, they beat and raped her to within an inch of her life.

Carlisle was kept in the dark until the day before her execution. When he found out, he was planning on helping Elizabeth. His father discovered his plan and almost killed him. I came to visit that night. When I could not find her, I knew something was wrong and immediately went to see Carlisle. I did what I could to make sure he would not die. Then his father came and dragged him through the streets to watch her burn at the stake."

As Nakhara told the story, her voice went from anger to sorrow, and then to a completely hollow, emotionless tone. It was as if she had lost herself to the memories of the past.

I took a moment to look at Carlisle again. He too was lost in the memories. The look of sorrow and pain on his face was something I would never forget. I couldn't stand seeing him like that; I had to comfort him somehow. I walked over and hugged him.

"I'm so sorry." I told him as I tucked my head into his chest, listening for the nonexistent heartbeat.

At first he just stood there, but after a few moments he relaxed and hugged me back. I let go of him, then reached up and kissed him on the cheek. I slowly walked back over to Nakhara. As I was walking back to her, I saw her look at Marcus. He looked at her for a moment before he nodded. She then turned towards me with a mysterious smile on her face. I reached her and gave her a hug as well. Unlike Carlisle, her arms immediately went around me. A moment passed before she turned me to face Carlisle again. I briefly took notice of the shock on the faces of the Volturi and the guard before Nakhara continued with her tale.

"Unfortunately, I could not seek retribution for Elizabeth's death without the blame falling on Carlisle. It did not stop Carlisle from attempting to do so. Every night for the next three years, he would sneak into his father's room with a dagger. Despite everything, he could not bring himself to kill his father. It was the late summer, early autumn of 1663. You know what happened from there.

You are well aware of Carlisle's first few months as a vampire. I came to visit him a week after his failed vampire hunt. He can be so foolish sometimes. When I discovered he was missing, I started to track him. While I am certainly no Demetri, I am decent at it. Because he moved around and attempted suicide so much, it took me over six months to actually find him. I was able to talk him out of his wish for death, partly because he was running out of ideas. We had talked about his diet beforehand, so I simply let that be. I was very surprised and proud that he had stuck to it, especially as a newborn."

As she spoke, I could hear the emotions color her voice. At first it was anger and sorrow, then concern, which gave way to frustration, then sadness, and finally she ended with pride in her voice. A question came to mind before she could continue.

"If Carlisle knew what happened and wanted it, why did he try to kill himself?"

She gave me another sad smile before answering. "I am afraid that some of the fault lies with me. I did not explain some of the darker parts of our nature to him beforehand and he was unprepared. I did explain what would happen to him while the venom was working its way through him, but he was unaware how overwhelming waking as a vampire would be, as well as how all-consuming the bloodlust really is for a newborn. As he explained, the reality of what he was set in and he lost it."

I realized toward the end that Edward or Carlisle hadn't told me any of this and asked why.

"Oh. Is there a reason that I wasn't told about you or any of this before? I realize a lot of it wasn't common knowledge or it was difficult to talk about, but is that the only reason?"

Carlisle spared Edward an apologetic glace before answering my question.

"Those were not the only reasons why you haven't been told until today. Nakhara has shared more with you today than she ever has with Aro, Caius, Marcus, and I over the entire time we've known her. That amounts to almost four hundred years with me, and over two and a half thousand years with the others. I'm not certain as to why, but she will probably tell you today or sometime soon.

Another reason for you ignorance is the fact that I have never mentioned Elizabeth and the events surrounding her with anyone other than Nakhara. Not even Esme knows of her. I also took great care to never think of her around Edward. Not even Aro knew the details. He knew who she was and that I knew her in my human life, but nothing more. Like with Edward, it is possible to block Aro. Not completely, but you can block important information. Especially if he is looking for something particular in your thoughts, he tends to overlook the details.

Nakhara spent a lot of those first few years teaching me about vampiric gifts and how to block them if possible, as well as helping me with my own gift."

* * *

Hello everyone! I know I said I'd have a chapter out every three days, but life and finals got in the way. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I haven't put a disclaimer up since the first chapter, so here it goes. I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. And Nakhara is loosely based off of Akasha and Maharet from The Queen of the Damned. Both the movie and the Anne Rice novel. Some of the vampire mythology was also based on it.

I realized, reading a review, Bella is picking up things very fast. It took her about two months to figure out what the Cullens were. It's well established how observant Bella is. Until this chapter, she was in a life threatening situation. I think that'd cause her perceptiveness to go into overdrive. Also, I've always thought that there were times when Bella's thoughts sounded more vampire than human.

As far as the timeline, it all fits with canon. According to the Twilight Lexicon, Carlisle was turned sometime in or after 1663, he was 23 at the time, so that would put his birth in 1640 or later, which makes him 367, give or take a few years.

I had to push their departure from Volterra back a chapter. For the same reason as the last chapter. I don't to give you a 7000 word chapter to read. I don't even know if there's a limit on this site and would rather not find out by posting an 8000 – 10000 word chapter. This one might have actually been that long. I was already at over 6500 words with a very far off end. This one is 4120 without the author's note. Happy Holidays!


	8. Chapter 8: Bloodlines

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 8 – Bloodlines

* * *

_Carlisle spared Edward an apologetic glace before answering my question._

"_Those were not the only reasons why you haven't been told until today. Nakhara has shared more with you today than she ever has with Aro, Caius, Marcus, and I over the entire time we've known her. That amounts to almost four hundred years with me, and over two and a half thousand years with the others. I'm not certain as to why, but she will probably tell you today or sometime soon._

_Another reason for you ignorance is the fact that I have never mentioned Elizabeth and the events surrounding her with anyone other than Nakhara. Not even Esme knows of her. I also took great care to never think of her around Edward. Not even Aro knew the details. He knew who she was and that I knew her in my human life, but nothing more. Like with Edward, it is possible to block Aro. Not completely, but you can block important information. Especially if he is looking for something particular in your thoughts, he tends to overlook the details. _

_Nakhara spent a lot of those first few years teaching me about vampiric gifts and how to block them if possible, as well as helping me with my own gift."_

I was shocked by his last sentence.

"Wait a minute; I thought you didn't have a gift?"

He looked very guilt-ridden as he answered my question.

"I dislike my gift and do not use it unless I have a choice. You are aware of the vampire legends about hypnotism, right? Most of the modern myths regarding that, like Dracula, are based on stories of me using my gift. I can even affect some vampires with it, depending on the vampire. Like I said, I refuse to use it unless I have no other option."

As Carlisle finished his explanation, Nakhara snorted.

"Do not let him fool you Isabella; he is ashamed of his gift. That is why he has not used it since the 1880's. I doubt his family even knows of it. Now, do you have any other questions, or may I continue?"

I looked at her in shock for a moment.

"There's more?"

"Oh yes. Do not worry; we are almost to the end."

She hugged me from behind and held me to her for the next part of her tale

"I spent the next two and a half years helping him adjust to life as a vampire. Eventually we made our way back to London. Our first order of business was to track down Carlisle's maker and kill him. From the description I received, the vampire was obviously insane and a risk to our security.

The vampire that turned Carlisle was named Godric. He was a citizen of the Roman Empire, born and raised in Britannica around 150 A.D. He joined the Roman army and served for several years. He was seduced by a female vampire, fed from, and left for dead. I knew him fairly well. I had lost contact with him almost fifty years before I met Carlisle. He had the ability to bend nature itself to his will. He was a very powerful vampire and I regret having to kill him.

Before we carried out his execution, I asked him what led to his self-imposed starvation. I was curious what could have happened to such a powerful and well-adjusted vampire to make him attempt to starve himself.

Apparently he had taken a human mistress who he had planned to turn. A week before he planned to bite her, she discovered she was with child. There was no doubt that it was his, she had not touched another man since their relationship began. Godric saw to that. All vampires have a possessive streak, but Godric was unusually possessive as far as vampires go."

Every vampire except Nakhara and Carlisle started muttering to themselves or each other at that second sentence. She quickly lost her patience with them.

"Silence! All of you!" She yelled to the room. I felt that need to obey yet again. Nakhara turned to me and continued.

"It is possible, under certain conditions, for a male vampire to conceive a child with a female human. The science involved is very similar to mules or ligers."

I nodded at her and started talking.

"I remember writing a paper on that for my advanced placement science class when I lived in Phoenix. Hybrids are probably pretty rare though. Most vampires don't see humans as anything more than food. If a vampire does take a human lover, I'm willing to bet that they don't last long. They either end up as vampires or food. Edward and this Godric seem to be the exception to that."

She laughed a little before explaining further.

"Correct again. As far as I know, there are around twenty five or twenty six hybrids or hybrid bloodlines worldwide. Hybrids themselves are extremely rare, and hybrid bloodlines are even more so."

"Hybrid bloodlines?" I questioned her.

"Like with ligers or mules, all males are sterile. However, some females can reproduce. If they do conceive with another vampire, the child is often times worse than an Immortal Child. Have Immortal Children been explained to you?"

I thought about it before answering. "A very vague description. I think it was only in passing once or twice, but I can imagine. A young child frozen like that forever, personality included. It's a huge security risk. Without thinking before they act, they could expose all of you and you might not be able to fix it if it was public enough."

She smiled at me before continuing.

"Correct. That is the reason why I placed an age limit on turning someone. No one under the age of fifteen can be turned without speaking to me or the Volturi. Between the four of us, there have been a few exceptions over the millennia. Jane and Alec for example. They actually possessed their gifts in human form, although severely diminished. Aro decided that they were too powerful and had too much potential to let them be burned at the stake. They were both turned at fourteen and are only a decade younger than Carlisle.

When a female hybrid conceives with a human male though, they have all of the traits of their mother, only diluted further by more human genes in their DNA. Eventually, the bloodline becomes diluted enough that it's very unusual for the vampire genes to even be physically visible."

I looked at Nakhara. It sounded like more than a theory.

"Have you seen this happen?" I asked her.

She broke into another smile before answering.

"Yes. After we had dealt with his father, Carlisle and I tracked down Godric's descendants as well as my own. If a descendent of his were ever turned, they would be powerful vampires. They might even share his gift. Back to the story. After we executed Godric, we went after Carlisle's father and the other men involved in Elizabeth's death. It was a Sunday and his father was holding an evening service. We decided to pay a visit. It was September 4th, 1666. Elizabeth's death happened exactly six years before and Carlisle had been a vampire for three years, give or take a week. September has never been the best month for Carlisle. That is one thing that has not changed in almost four hundred years. Do you remember what happened in London that year during the month of September? "

She looked at me. I could tell she was eager for me to answer. From the look on her face, I recognized that this was another test. I thought about her question for a minute and suddenly remembered my world history class freshman year.

"The Great Fire of London, right? It started on September 5th, 1666."

She actually smirked and had this mischievous glint in her eye as she resumed the story.

"When we calmly strolled into the church, everyone was shocked, as you can imagine. They thought Carlisle was dead, yet there he was looking better than ever with gold eyes instead of blue. They all thought he was angel sent by God. I walked in behind him a few minutes later, and had fed off a human less than an hour before. That quickly squashed the angel idea. Carlisle's father decided to walk toward us with a cross, banishing us demons from the house of God. Carlisle grabbed the cross from his hand, threw it to me, and slammed his father against the floor. I slowly crushed it in my hand for all of them to see. We still hadn't spoken and all of them were so scared.

I walked over to William and he reached for the holy water next to the altar. I grabbed his wrist before he could splash me with it and licked all the water off his hand. Then I knocked the basin all of the holy water was in to the floor. The basin actually cracked from the force.

All this time, Carlisle just held his face to the floor by his neck, staring at him. I asked him if he could do this. He looked me in the eye and his answer was, and I quote, 'I need and shall punish them. Thy gave her thy oath to protect theeand failed. Thy shall avenge Elizabeth's death.' When he said Elizabeth's name, his father accused him of running away to consort with demons and making a deal with one for his revenge. Carlisle's called his father the demon, the monster for what he did to Elizabeth.

He then informed everyone that, for their part in Elizabeth's death no matter how small, they were going to be tortured and killed. The first was the woman that accused her of being a witch. Carlisle handed her to me and I slowly drained her dry, biting both sides of her neck, her wrists, and her ankles. I injected enough venom to make her start screaming before I took her last drop. It was then that William finally put the pieces together and shouted the word vampire at us."

"I'll take over from here."

I looked over to Carlisle as he said that to Nakhara when she took a very unnecessary breath. His eyes were the darkest black I had ever seen. I had never seen his eyes become black before. His entire eye, iris and all, was black. I didn't know that vampire's eyes did that. I looked at Edward to see how he was reacting. His jaw was on the floor and a combination of surprise and fear in his eyes. Nakhara scrutinized him for a moment before speaking.

"Of course. After I answer Isabella's questions. She has a few circling in that head of hers." She replied, a bit of mirth tinting the words. Damn gifted vampires. Carlisle nodded his eyes still black. I felt completely safe and at ease though.

"Sometimes when a vampire is starving or feeling very intense emotion, their entire eye will go black. The last time I saw his eyes like this was the night we are telling you about. I'm quite certain that none of them have seen him like this before, which accounts for young Edward's expression and the new flytrap he has set up."

I laughed at those last few words. Observing him again, I decided he probably would catch flies. I quickly turned my attention to Carlisle again as he started where Nakhara left off.

"We both spent the next few hours torturing different members of the parish. Everyone who ever said a negative word again Elizabeth was fair game. I had learned a few things from my father that I was delighted to be able to use against him. Nakhara herself was the daughter of a warlord king and had over forty-five hundred years to accumulate different methods of torture. I'll spare you the details. I'm sure that you could always ask Nakhara and have her tell you if you want. Needless to say, over half of the congregation was literally a bloody mess and most of the floor of the church was blood soaked, as well as the altar and several areas on the walls. We left their tongues intact so we could hear them scream.

About an hour before sunrise, we walked outside the church. I grabbed a torch and started setting it on fire. I had asked Nakhara to let me do that part on my own. I wanted to be the one that set alight those that had set Elizabeth on fire and helped the flames consume her. After we could hear the screams as the flames spread, we set a nearby bakery on fire to make it look like an accident. We didn't realize it would spread as far or as quickly as it did. We stayed and watched the city burn, just as Elizabeth had. That was my strongest human memory. It's even stronger than the memory of my turning and some of my early vampiric memories."

Watching Carlisle describe his revenge was an experience. His voice, his stance, his whole being shifted from the kind, compassionate, vegetarian vampire I had always known into someone who was very much a true vampire. He was the person that Nakhara had described – sadistic, vengeful, ruthless, domineering, bloodthirsty, angry – and so much more. With one look at him you knew he was dangerous and lethal. Yet, I couldn't help but feel safe and comfortable around him. Something inside of me told me he would never hurt, and would never let anyone else either. I remembered the conversation on my birthday and figured that he probably needed to hear it again. I confidently walked until I was about a foot in front him and looked into his still black eyes.

"I meant what I said on my birthday. You aren't a monster and you're not damned. You can't be. If you are, what hope is there for the rest of us? You are more human that a lot of humans can claim to be. As for those people, they deserved it. I'm sure you've killed since then. I'd like to meet a vampire that hasn't had to kill at least once. I know that is a part of being a vampire. The instincts you develop during the change strengthen the dark side of us that everyone has. Some more than others, but it's still there. I would have done the same thing. I would do the same thing for you, your family, Charlie, Renee, Phil, and Jake. You all are my family and I would do anything for you. I'm sorry, but as long as you guys want me around you're stuck with me."

I then acted on an impulse and hugged him again. I could feel him relax and hug me back. Behind me, I could hear Nakhara burst out laughing. I feel Carlisle turn his head to stare at her. I keep thinking that he's glaring at her. After a moment, he let go and eyed me before speaking.

"I also meant what I said. You are extremely gracious about us. More so than any human I've ever met."

"Yes you are Isabella. Half of the vampires in this room wanted to get as far away as possible, and the other half were waiting to see if he would attack someone. But the only human in the room decided to go up to him and not only talk to him, but hug him. Despite the fact that I am now convinced that your lack of self-preservation instinct surpasses even Carlisle's when he was human, I think he needed to hear that."

Nakhara said with mirth as she moved a little closer to Carlisle. She still stayed a few feet away from him though. I gave her a curious expression. She was quick to enlighten me.

"Carlisle is one of the most powerful vampires on the planet. If you exclude Aro, Marcus, Caius, and I he is the most powerful vampire on this earth. The God of War is a somewhat close sixth place. Eleazer Denali is a distant seventh. He is followed by his daughters Tanya, Kate, and Irina. That rounds out the top ten. It is kind of ironic that most six of those ten are animal drinkers."

The questions were out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

"Who is the God of War? You said you tracked down your and Godric's descendants after your revenge, how far did you get? Doesn't drinking animal blood weaken vampires?"

She only shook her head before replying.

"You would know him as Jasper Whitlock, although he goes by Hale most of the time. Animal blood does weaken vampires, but not enough to notice the difference. "

I couldn't believe it. Jasper was that powerful and feared? I really couldn't believe it and told her as much.

"Jasper's entrance into our world was much different than the rest of the Cullen's. I would tell you, but I think that you should hear his story first hand. As for my and Godric's descendants, I do know who they are.

Godric's daughter was rather easy to find. She was living in a small village in northern England with a daughter of her own who was about to give birth. We gave her the necessary information and then set out to find my descendants.

When we tortured William and the others, we found the location of Elizabeth's son. He was given to a Scottish merchant. He traded the child to a blacksmith in France about a year before we got the information from William. It took us over a month to find the merchant, and another six to find the French blacksmith. By the time we track him down, the boy had disappeared. Another three weeks, and we discovered he had run away a month after arriving in the city and been taken in by a group of traveling Gypsies. We then spent the next ten years visiting every group of Gypsies in Europe.

Carlisle and I finally found the group that had taken him in, but the child had left the year before after he turned fifteen. He had left them in Bavaria, and we started from the town they had last seen him. We tracked him through the Holy Roman Empire and France back over the English Channel to London. My only guess is that he was told of his parents by either the merchant or the blacksmith. After he found nothing, he decided to go to Spain. In Seville, he met a prostitute's daughter who was about to be forced into the trade by her mother. They married and went to Madrid, where they stayed for a little over six months. The two then decided out of nowhere to move to Brazil.

Throughout our entire search, we were always at least six months behind them, if not a year or longer. After a few years in Brazil, we found a number of hybrids. Apparently a vampire accidently discovered he could have children with the women he seduced and ate. He was planning on creating an army of hybrids. Idiot. I found him and warned him. A year later I finally found them. They had gotten sick and died three months before. I found out from their neighbor that they had a three old son who was given to a friend of theirs. This friend was involved in the slave trade and left with the child for Africa two months before we got there. It was around May of 1691

Carlisle and I decided to go back to Europe and track him from Italy. Carlisle spent the next fifty years here with Aro, Marcus, and Caius and helped me as much as possible. From the time we arrived, it took me another nine years to find the slave trade organization that their friend had been a part of."

As Nakhara took a second to collect her thoughts, I asked her a question.

"Do you know what their names were?"

She smiled at me as she responded. "Elizabeth's son was named Stuart. William could not be bothered to name his own son, so the merchant, being Scottish, named him after the king. You and his wife share your first name. They named their son Alejandro.

By the time I had found Stuart and Isabel's friend, he had died and Alejandro had been given to another friend. This friend was a slave trader in the Caribbean. After about four years of searching, I found Alejandro's guardian. Alejandro had left about six months before, doing the same thing his father had done. He found his parent's graves in Brazil, and then traced them to his grandmother. He followed his father's trail though Europe and back to London. He actually settled in London for about five years. He had only left London about two months before I got there.

He moved Sweden and worked as a traveling blacksmith. He met his wife Karla, got married, and had a son of his own. His son William was born in 1712. The name was a tribute to his great grandfather. If he had known he would not have bothered. Unfortunately, Karla died in childbirth. Alejandro lived for another twelve years before he died. William lived with his mother's family for two years before running away and going to Spain and England to attempt to find any other family members. I was six months behind them for all the years they lived in Sweden.

William settled in Spain and traveled between Spain and France for the next eleven years. He was a traveling blacksmith like Alejandro had been. He got married to this French girl named Marie in 1733. The had their only child, James, in 1739. Two years before that they had decided to move to the New World. They settled in New Orleans with a cousin of Marie's for about three years. After that, they moved to Virginia, traveling as usual. This continued for about fifteen years when William died. Marie died about six months later. James was around 18, so he went on his own. He hunted and gathered furs. He did that for ten years before he died in an Indian attack. Until nineteen years ago, I had thought that my bloodline had died with him."

Nakhara was sad throughout the story. At that last line, I noticed Carlisle stiffen out of the corner of my eye.

"What happened?"

She smiled at me again before continuing.

"The last of Godric's bloodline married into the last of mine. I have been watching after them as a tribute to Godric's memory. I have had DNA tests done on the spouses of Godric's descendants since the technology became available, just in case. If a child of theirs was going to be born with a rare, incurable disease, I wanted to know beforehand so I could make sure they were well taken care of. It was pure chance that they met and got married. I did not even have the results until after they had eloped to Las Vegas. They had one child before they divorced.

I was curious as to how he was actually my descendent, so I traced back his family history. James had a son out of wedlock that I had overlooked. The woman was married at the time, so I thought the child was her husband's."

The second Nakhara finished her explanation, Carlisle spoke up.

"You've known for nineteen years and never said one word to me."

She just stared at him a moment before responding.

"What would you have done if I had told you?"

"I would have looked after them. I promised Elizabeth that I would look after her child and failed. The least I could do is look after her descendants." Carlisle answered without skipping a beat.

"Exactly. You have your own family now. If I had told you, you would have left them without a second thought if it had come to that. The girl and her father are perfectly fine."

Carlisle was quiet for a moment. I noticed that his eyes were still black, but had lightened a few shades.

"You're right. I still wish you would have told me. I want to meet them. I'm owed at least that."

Nakhara smirked again as she answered him. "Soon Carlisle. For now though, Isabella has a puzzle to piece together."

I looked at her, trying to remember what she said earlier. She said that what I am, the reason Edward's power doesn't work was indirectly tied to the story of her and Godric's descendants. Indirectly. Suddenly, the answer came to me. Before I could speak though, Carlisle began talking to Nakhara.

"Even if she is who you think she is there's not enough vampire DNA present to explain her ability to block the powers of other vampires. To even possess such latent and passive gift, she'd have to have to be no less than an eighth vampire. From just looking at her, you can tell she had at least seven generations of human ancestors between her and a hybrid."

Carlisle's words to Nakhara confirmed my thoughts. Somewhere, no matter how far back, I had a vampire as an ancestor. And Nakhara knew from the moment Carlisle mentioned me to her over a year ago. Her one word answer to Carlisle pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Mijararos."

The expression of pure shock and disbelief on Carlisle's face was confusing. What did that vampire have to do with me? The room was silent for a moment before Edward, who hadn't said a word since Nakhara entered the room, suddenly started shouting.

"You mean to tell me that I've been pining over some disgusting half breed for all these months?"

Before I could blink, Carlisle had Edward pinned against the wall, exactly like Aro had been earlier.

"If you ever say anything like that about Bella again, I will kill you before you can even hear my thoughts about what I would do to you."

As I heard those words, I felt two very conflicting emotions – security and horror. I felt even more secure around Carlisle than ever before. I now knew – without a doubt in my mind – that he would never let anything harm me. At the same time, I felt absolute horror at the fact that he would actually even think about hurting Edward, his companion for almost a century, for me. A weak and pathetic human. Even if I do have vampire DNA. Thankfully Nakhara intervened, although not the way I had hoped she would.

"Carlisle, put the boy down. Other than upsetting Bella, killing him would serve no purpose. At the moment anyways. We can revisit the idea at a later date."

Carlisle dropped Edward the moment he heard my name and backed several feet away from him.

"Good. Now, what have you figured out on your own? I will admit that I did tell you a bit more than I had been planning to, but it does not matter."

I collected my thoughts before answering.

"Well, either on Charlie's or Renee's side of the family, I have an ancestor who's a vampire. However, according to Carlisle, the vampire DNA is more active than possible for some reason. I'm pretty sure you know why. Also, the vampire you killed, Mijararos, has something to do with me. The only thing that comes to mind is that he's the vampire I'm descended from. Another reason you're mad at Carlisle and Edward, other than what we talked about before, is that they left a member of a hybrid bloodline unprotected and in the hands of werewolves. Did I miss anything?"

She stared at me a moment, glanced at Edward, and then turned back to me.

"How much have you been told about the relationships between vampires and humans?"

I'm sure I looked like a moron. What was she talking about? The only relationship vampires really have is one between a person and their food supply.

"From the look on your face, very little. While most vampires only see humans as food, there are exceptions. The first you are already aware of, La Tua Cantante. A singer is like a drug to a vampire. We may have a few in our long lives, but no more than three or four. I have only had one – Carlisle. The other relationship that a vampire can have with a human beyond the need for their blood is referred to as a Sangre. A Sangre is a vampire's human mate. Most Sangres are turned almost immediately. In some cases though, if the vampire in question meets their Sangre at a young age, they must wait until they are at least fifteen years old."

I interrupted before she could say more. "Edward always said I was his mate, but from what you just told me, I'm guessing I'm not."

Nakhara gave an exasperated sigh before responding.

"No, you are not. Vampire mating is very similar to imprinting, with a few differences. Did your friend Jacob explain imprinting to you?"

"No, but his Alpha's imprint, Emily did when I asked her."

I remembered what she had told me about imprinting. 'The minute you look into their eyes, the whole world disappears and you feel this pull towards them. An imprint can refuse, but it usually means a slow death for the wolf.' Emily had said. I looked at her and started asking questions.

"What differences are there?"

I saw her eyes flicker towards Carlisle, then they snapped back to me and she answered.

"We feel the same pull that wolves do, but we do not need eye or even physical contact. Once we are within a couple feet of our mates, we start to feel the pull. Almost any vampire will know what it is the instant they begin to feel the pull, but some have refused to acknowledge it. While refusing it will not kill us, it is painful to be away from our mate for very long and almost unbearable if they die. Few vampires survive the death of their mate and remain sane. To actually be the one to kill your mate is a pain equal to the fires that burn us when the venom runs through your veins. You've felt that, so you do have an idea.

With Sangres, it is very similar to how mating works between two vampires. The vampire will recognize it instantly, while the human will be confused as to why they feel so drawn to the vampire. To override most human's natural instinct to stay away from us, a human will fell at ease and safe with the vampire in question. The safest and most at ease they have ever and will ever feel in their life."

I watched her for a moment. She would have been a Sangre in her human life and felt all of that once. Esme would have been Carlisle's Sangre when she was human. I remembered that and voiced those thoughts to her. While she smiled at me, it was Carlisle who spoke first.

"I love Esme dearly, but she is not my mate. I still haven't come across my mate, and after close to four hundred years, I doubt I will."

I gazed at Carlisle after he told me that. I felt so sad for him. He deserved to have his mate with him. I turned back to Nakhara and asked her the other question on my mind.

"What does this have to do with Mijararos, or me for that matter?"

I got another sad smile before she replied.

"You were correct, you are descended from Mijararos. However, you forgot a couple important facts that I mentioned earlier. Godric's bloodline married into mine nineteen years ago. That union, before it was dissolved, resulted in a daughter who was born over eighteen years ago. As for why I explain the basics of vampire mating to you, my daughter was Mijararos' Sangre. She died giving birth to his daughter, who was also my granddaughter."

* * *

Hello everyone! Thanks for reviewing. I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does. This was going to be 2 chapters, but it would have dragged the story on a bit too much. I think that they'll leave Volterra in the next chapter, but I'm not sure. Reviews are always welcome. I'm sorry about the horrible Elizabethan English. I tried.


	9. Chapter 9: Legacy

World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 9 – Legacy

* * *

_I watched her for a moment. She would have been a Sangre in her human life and felt all of that once. Esme would have been Carlisle's Sangre when she was human. I remembered that and voiced those thoughts to her. While she smiled at me, it was Carlisle who spoke first._

"_I love Esme dearly, but she is not my mate. I still haven't come across my mate, and after close to four hundred years, I doubt I will."_

_I gazed at Carlisle after he told me that. I felt so sad for him. He deserved to have his mate with him. I turned back to Nakhara and asked her the other question on my mind._

"_What does this have to do with __Mijararos, or me for that matter?"_

_I got another sad smile before she replied._

"_You were correct, you are descended from Mijararos. However, you forgot a couple important facts that I mentioned earlier. Godric's bloodline married into mine nineteen years ago. That union, before it was dissolved, resulted in a daughter who was born over eighteen years ago. As for why I explain the basics of vampire mating to you, my daughter was Mijararos' Sangre. She died giving birth to his daughter, who was also my granddaughter."_

"So, if I understood that, I am your descendent, as well as Godric's. I'm also descended from Mijararos, because your daughter was his Sangre and had a child with her?"

Nakhara nodded her head.

I just stood there for a moment, processing.

Not only did I have vampire ancestors, but am descended from some of the most powerful vampires to ever walk this earth. They are the reason I can smell blood, and block Edward's gift. I knew there had to be a reason beyond the AM/FM theory that Edward gave me, I just didn't think it was this.

"Is that why you're so eager to turn me yourself instead of just ordering someone to do it? You realize how powerful I could be as a vampire?"

The question came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Nakhara's answer, however, was not what I excepted.

"No. While that is one reason I want to become one of us, it is not the reason I plan on turning you myself. Because of the vampire DNA you already possess, you will already rank in the above the Denali's when you are turned. Over time, I have found that the more powerful a vampire's sire is, the more powerful that fledging will be. If I turn you myself, you will be more powerful than you would be otherwise. The reason behind that is for your ears alone."

"But you will tell me?"

"Yes. Not now, but soon."

The fact that I would have all my answers soon was enough to keep my content. As I relaxed, a few things came to mind that I was curious about.

"Carlisle knew about your daughter, didn't he? That's why he was shocked when you said Mijararos' name. And why he freaked out on Edward. He was saying that about Elizabeth's descendent."

She smiled at me again before confirming my thoughts.

"Correct. As you are aware, vampires can process things a bit faster than humans. Even though it was only an interval of a few seconds, his mind had already processed and accepted the information. Now that you have all the pieces, can you tell me exactly why I am so upset with Carlisle and Edward?"

I kept glancing between Carlisle, Edward, and Nakhara, pulling all of my thoughts together. After a moment, I began to speak.

"First of all, he disrespected you when he yelled at you, even if you were provoking him. They also left me, your descendent, in the hands of young, unstable werewolves with a psycho vampire who could have, and did, come after me. I'm sure you had people checking up on me, so you have an idea of the emotional pain I was put through when they left. Also, Carlisle let Edward, his son in every way that counts, tell him what to do. I keep getting the feeling that it's almost unheard of for a sire to bend to his child's will like that. You are also angry at how little they've told me about the nature of vampires. And they brought me here without knowing if you were here to step in or not."

She smirked at me again before she spoke.

"Very good. Now, I am going to send you back to Forks with Carlisle. Your father will be worried. I called Eleazer and had him come up with a cover story for your father. It would still be a good idea to call him though. I have also arranged for my private jet to pick you up in Florence and take you home.

For obvious reasons, you will have to stay here until dark. Since I am sure you flew straight here after Alice's phone call, I insist that you at least eat something. I would like for you to sleep, but I realize that may be a bit difficult."

After she informed me of those arrangements, she turned and stared directly at Aro, Caius, and Marcus before she opened her mouth. I could feel her power coming off of her in waves, each more intense than the last.

"I will warn all of you only once. I have killed literally thousands, human and vampire alike, in defense of my bloodline. I killed my own mate to protect my descendants. Do not make the same mistake that other vampires have made. Isabella means more to me than any other being on this earth. Aro, Marcus, Caius, and Carlisle included. If she is ever harmed in any way, I will gladly destroy the person responsible. Now, Jane, would you please have Gianna send some human food to my chambers?"

Nakhara glared at Jane as she asked her. Jane however, just nodded and left the room. Nakhara then turned to Carlisle.

"Would you take Isabella to my chambers? Heidi is almost here with a meal, and I do not think she should be here. I will be along in a moment."

Her tone left no room for discussion. Carlisle gently nudged my shoulder. As I let him lead me to the other side of the room, I noticed that there were two doors on either side of the throne like chairs I seen when I first walked into the room. Carlisle walked forward and opened the door on the left for me. After I had walked through the door I heard it shut. I could feel Carlisle's safe and comforting presence from behind me. Slowly, I looked around the hallway.

It all reminded me of the 18th century décor I had seen when Renee had gotten interested in art history. It also reminded me of your typical vampire lair. There were a couple of steps, then an ornate entry way. Beyond that, was a long red hallway with chandeliers on the ceiling. The carpet was done in this red and black pattern.

Doesn't this place date back to ancient Rome? Carlisle let out a chuckle. I must have said that out loud.

"While the building itself was first constructed around 57 BC, it has been remodeled and added onto countless times since then. Many of those renovations were done at Nakhara's insistence. More public areas, like the reception hall and the lobby, are remodeled every ten years or so, mostly to keep up pretenses. When Nakhara brought me here in the early 18th century, places like everyone's personal chambers, the hallways, the lower levels you saw earlier, ect, had stayed the same since the last time she had renovated anything, which was right around 1601 I believe. Nakhara loved result so much that she hasn't bothered to change it in over three hundred years except to add modern conveniences like electricity and internet." He explained to me as we made our way down the long hallway. After minute or two of walking in silence, we reached the end

The hallway gave to a large, tan stone spiral staircase. I looked down to see how far it went, but saw nothing but darkness. As I leaned back from the thin, metal railing, I heard Carlisle apologize.

"I thought that at least lighting would have put in. It makes sense why they haven't considered it though. As you go down, there are several doors. Each is the entrance to someone's private chambers. Mortals almost never enter them, and on the rare occasion they do, each of these chambers has another entrance that leads directly outside from the castle. Would you mind if I carried you? Nakhara's chambers are at the very bottom and it would be much easier just to carry you there."

I nodded my head in response. A second later, I was being carried bridal style in Carlisle's arms down the monstrous spiral staircase. I had my eyes closed as I felt the cold, dank air whipping past my face. Running with Carlisle was completely different experience than running with Edward. With Carlisle, it felt right. I wasn't nauseous or dizzy at all, and I felt safe and comfortable, like I always had in his presence. All too soon, I felt him stop and set me upright, his hands on my shoulders. I felt him lean in slightly.

"Give yourself a moment before you start trying to walk. I don't want you to become disorientated and trip. I also need to open the door and turn the lights on." He whispered in my ear. I shivered in response.

Carlisle's voice, always so calm, confident, and reassuring, now had a bit of a dangerous edge to it. Other than upstairs earlier, this was the most he had ever sounded like the vampire he was. Now that we were alone, in addition to feeling safe and comfortable, I felt something else. I couldn't place it though. After a moment of standing still, Carlisle directed me to the door a few feet away from the bottom of the stairs and opened the door. I could see him searching the inside wall for the light switch. After a moment, he found it and flicked it on. I then found myself being led inside and to the nearest seat. Carlisle took a seat on the sofa across from me and started to watch me intently.

"Are you alright Bella?" He asked me after a few seconds of his staring.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He sighed and looked at me before answering.

"You've been given a lot of sensitive information to process, in addition to the stress you've been put under. I want to make sure that you won't go into shock or shut down." Carlisle told me, looking every bit the concerned doctor he was.

"I'm fine. I'll admit that it's a shock, but I think that some part of me always knew. That's one reason I think I latched onto you guys as much as I did. My entire life, I've never quite fit in anywhere, or had a deep connection with anyone. Even with Renee, I always felt this disconnect. It wasn't until I moved to Forks that I felt like I belonged or was truly connected to anyone. Not until I met Edward and your family. I felt the same connection with Jake and the pack, but it was different somehow. Now, at least, I know why. I was supposed to be in this world. I belong here. I have since the moment I was conceived." I said as I tried to reassure him.

After we fell into a silence, I started to look around the room. The walls, what I could see of them, were the same tan stone that the staircase was. It must be the original brick. Large sections of the stone were covered in blood red velvet that hung from the ceiling. I could tell the drapes were covering something. It looked like shelves, but I couldn't tell. I saw thin metal tubes on parts of the walls, giving that rough industrial look. That must be how the electricity and stuff is run through here. Despite being deep underground, it wasn't damp or cold. I looked up at the ceiling, taking in the elaborate iron wrought spiral stairs and walkways that were about nine feet above me, and spotted the answer. The entire ceiling was covered in heating lamps. You could only see a few areas of stone. For the first time, I also noticed the height of the room. The ceiling had to be at least eighteen feet high. I must have been staring at it for too long, because Carlisle decided to comment on it.

"I remember Nakhara mentioning that in one of her letters. The heating lamps were an attempt to recreate the heat and light of the Sahara. For the first, I suppose it would be the first two thousand years of her existence, now that I know how old she is, she resided solely in Egypt. She had this small home in the middle of the desert that she visited quite a bit. It is still there. She missed the sun and would spend entire days just lying on a sand dune. At night, she would go to the nearest city and hunt. The only time she would travel more than a couple hundred miles was to check on her descendants."

I turned my head back to Carlisle.

"If she loves Egypt so much, how did she end up in here?"

"One of her descendants decided to move to Italy. He was a traveling scholar and made his way around the Greek city states. His son settled here in Italy, not twenty miles from the gates of Volterra. She had no choice but to follow. While she missed the heat, Nakhara could still spend her days in the sun if she was careful. They stayed here in Italy for a couple hundred years, farming. She still owns the land that the farm was on. A girl was born, and got a job here in Volterra. She actually served in Aro's household. That was how he was first brought to Nakhara's attention. She turned him about a year after her descendent first began her job." He quickly explained to me.

I nodded and turned to look at the room again. I now noticed a doorway covered in the same blood red velvet as the rest of the room, except it was being held back by gold rope. I couldn't see into the room though. As I moved to look at another part of the room I was in, my eyes met Carlisle's. I stared into them. They were still black, but it was a dull black and I could see honey flicks. His irises had also returned. The feeling I'd felt before we entered Nakhara's chambers returned. I still couldn't quite place it. It was similar to what I'd first felt when I met Edward, but this was so much stronger. As that thought crossed my mind, I knew what I was feeling.

I had a crush on Carlisle.

I had found him attractive from the moment I first saw him walk into the emergency room. From there, I'd gotten to know him over the days I spent reading in his office during the summer. When they left, Carlisle had been the first person I thought of after Edward. It was actually the thought of Carlisle leaving that had sent me into catatonic state. I was half there after Edward dumped me, but realizing that Carlisle had left pushed me over the edge.

Realizing I'd probably been staring too long, I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind to deal with later and looked at the floor. It was a dark red, almost brown color rug with a black leaf pattern. I followed it to the other side of the room and back. After I had done this about six times, the door opened and Nakhara walked through, closing the door behind her. She then turned to Carlisle and I. I noticed she had something silver in her hands.

"I apologize. I needed to speak to Marcus, although your son made that a bit difficult. Thank the gods for Reneta. Her shield is one of the most useful gifts I have ever come across. I also brought you something to eat." She told me as she sat the silver dish in front of me on the table.

"Where is Edward?" I asked her as I took the lid off the dish. It was some type of pasta. I was in Italy after all.

I lifted my head and found her over next to the door. She pushed a button below the light dimmer and all of the velvet drapes parted to reveal that most of the walls were covered floor to ceiling in shelves full of books. A couple sections had display cases on the first level, and shelves that started at the walkway I noticed earlier.

"I made him wait in the reception area upstairs. You, Carlisle, Aro, Marcus, and Caius are the only people, human or vampires that have ever been in here. I do not like him and refuse to have him in my private chambers. I apologize if you wanted to speak to him, but you will have to wait." Nakhara informed me as she walked over, behind Carlisle, to the right corner of the room. I noticed that she had a small refrigerator there, as well as a few wine glasses. She turned to Carlisle.

"Would you like anything? I do keep some animal blood."

He looked at me before answering. I just grabbed the fork and started eating. "No thank you. I would suggest you wait until Bella leaves. The smell of human blood makes her sick. I know I mentioned it in my emails."

She smiled at him. "I know. I wanted to see how Isabella would react to the offer."

I looked at her and put another mouthful of noodles on my fork. "I figured you wouldn't drink human blood around me. I don't know how I would react to animal blood. I 've never really been exposed to it before." I brought the fork to my mouth and ate the noodles.

She laughed and was suddenly sitting in the chair to the left of the two sofas. I quickly finished my meal in silence, Nakhara and Carlisle conversing at vampire speed. When I was finished with my meal, she stood up and went to a section of shelves. After partially pulling a book out, the wall opened like you see in all of those mystery movies. She turned her head and stared at me for a moment.

"I would like for you to see this Isabella."

I nodded and walked over to her. She walked into the secret doorway and led me inside. It was lit by floor lamps throughout the room. The far wall was covered in one big iron sheet that had a tree like carving on it with tons of branches. The rest of the room had display cases around the walls. I walked farther in, looking at the far wall. Elizabeth's name stood out among the carvings.

"After I thought my bloodline had died out at last, I was depressed for some time. I created this room as a tomb of sorts. I carved the family tree you are looking at myself. After I found my descendants again, I researched your family, back to that child James had out of wedlock. I added all of them to the tree, including you and your father. The display cases hold the oldest heirlooms. Over on the left wall, one of those cases has a few scrolls in it. They are from the Great Library in Alexandria. One of your ancestors wrote them. In the chaos of the fire, I saved many of those scrolls. The case next to it holds a gold comb that I gave my daughter on her sixteenth birthday. The flowers on it are metal and would have rusted long ago. I thought you might like to see this before you left."

It finally hit home. I was a part of a family that stretched back to the dawn of human civilization. I shared the same DNA as people, who might have been involved in the battle of Troy, seen Egypt at the height of its history, watched as the Roman Empire fell. I started to feel overwhelmed. I sort of understood now exactly how long five thousand years really was. All that Nakhara had seen and been a part of. How much history my ancestors might have helped happen. I walked around the room, taking in the history. I then turned back to the family tree and started looking at the names and dates. I wanted to know what they were like, what they had done in their lives. I noticed that towards the bottom, where the tree started, that there were a couple hundred years between the birth and death dates. As I moved up, the dates faded to normal human lifespans. The longer live was probably an effect of the vampire DNA. I turned back to her. She looked like she was lost in memories again. With five thousand years of them, it was understandable.

"Thank you for showing me this." I told Nakhara as I walked back through the entrance. She followed me and shut the door of bookshelves.

"You are welcome. I will tell you about them. Not now because we have more urgent business to take care of, but I will soon." She smiled as we walked back over to the sofas and chairs. I retook my seat. She did the same. Carlisle was also in the seat he was earlier. After glancing at him, she started.

"As I informed you earlier, I sent Eleazar to your father with a cover story. What I had him tell your father was an altered version of the truth. Edward was here on spring break. Alice called and told Rosalie about your cliff diving, and she misunderstood Alice. She thought you killed yourself. She called and told Edward, including what you were like when they left. Edward thought you killed yourself because of him. He felt guilty and decided that living wasn't worth it after what he did to you. As Carlisle's half-sister and the person Edward was staying with, I called and told Carlisle. He immediately decided to fly out here and talk sense into Edward. When you found out what was going on, you insisted on coming with him. He tried to talk you out of it, but you just threatened to follow him on your own, so he agreed. You arrived and where able to stop him before he went through with it."

I was shocked. "How did you manage to come up with all this in a couple hours?"

Nakhara laughed. "I actually arrived back last night. I sometimes come back early and observe what happens while I am not here. I called Eleazar the minute I realized what was going on. Knowing Alice from Carlisle's emails, I knew she would call him the minute she saw what Edward was planning. I also knew that he was planning on checking up on you sometime this week. Eleazer went by your home the morning after you left and told Charlie the cover story. I also had him beg for forgiveness on Carlisle's behalf. After he explained and apologized, your father was very understanding. You might be scolded, but I doubt any serious punishment will be given out."

I nodded. It was better than what I'd left him with. Nakhara continued after a minute of silence.

"I am returning with you. I want to get to know you and your father. I also have Victoria to deal with. You do not have to agree to anything, but I will take care of Victoria regardless. If you choose to, I also have some things that I wish to teach you. They will prove important when you are a vampire."

I thought about it for a bit. By the time I was ready to talk, I noticed that my tray had been taken away.

"I have a few questions before I agree to anything."

She smiled. "I excepted as much."

I took a breath before starting.

"Do you plan on telling Charlie about vampires?"

She looked deep in thought for a moment. "No. Unless you want to tell him, it does not make sense."

"Ok. I was just wondering about that. I really don't want to have to tell him everything. So if I want to become a vampire before my 21st birthday?"

Carlisle and Nakhara exchanged a glance before Carlisle turned to me. "I will turn you if that is what you want."

"Oh."

I remember her saying that Carlisle could turn me, and I remember his offer earlier, but I still had a hard time believing that he wanted me around. I got up, walked to the nearest shelf, and started to look at the books. I could barely hear them talking at vampire speed again as I made my way around the room. I wondered what time it was. Before I knew it, Nakhara came behind me as tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped and turned to her.

"It is time to leave. I have a car waiting outside."

"Already?"

She chuckled and led me to the doorway I had seen earlier. "You were absorbed in my book collection. I believe you spent close to three and a half hours looking through the shelves."

"Wow. Sorry about that. The same thing happens whenever I go into a bookstore or Carlisle's office." I apologized. She simply nodded and led me through the doorway. Where did Carlisle go?

"Where is Carlisle? He was here earlier."

"He decided to talk to Edward. He will meet us in the car."

I nodded and followed her to a door on the right, not really having a chance to look at the room. I was led down this old tunnel, done in the same tan brick as before. At the end was a large wooden door. Nakhara opened the door and led me through. I was on the street.

The party was still in full swing in the streets. The street lamps were just coming on as we walked swiftly through the narrow, cobbled lanes. The sky was a dull, fading gray overhead, but the buildings crowded the streets so closely that it felt darker.

The party was darker, too. There were in black satin cloaks now, and the plastic fangs I'd seen on the child in the square today seemed to be very popular with the adults.

As we reached the edge of the city, I noticed a black limo parked with the driver waiting for someone. Nakhara walked in that direction and I followed behind her. I realized the driver was waiting for us when she greeted the driver and opened the door. Since she seemed to be holding it open for me, so I hurried and slid into the car. She closed the door behind me.

Carlisle and Edward were sitting across from me at opposite ends of the car. Carlisle's eyes, while they had returned to a golden color, were still darker than before. The door on the driver's side of the car opened and Nakhara quickly entered the limo. As soon as her door shut, we started to move. Thinking about everything that's happened, I remembered something I had yet to ask about.

"You used your power on the guard, didn't you Carlisle? That's why he let us pass through."

He looked uncomfortable as he answered me.

"Not only was Edward's life at stake, but so was yours. I did the only thing I could. As I told you on the plane here, even if we failed to stop Edward, I planned to do everything in my power to get you back to your father. If Jane hadn't come to fetch us, or had arrived a few minutes later, I would have had enough time to hypnotize Felix into starting a fight with Demetri, which would have bought us enough time to get out of the city. Once outside the city walls, Aro, Marcus, and Caius would have let us go home. They would've sent someone to make sure we had killed or turned you, but we would be left alone otherwise."

I looked at him for a moment. "Thank you. I can tell you hate using your gift. It means a lot that you'd be willing to use it for my sake. I do have a question though. I'm not asking to upset you. I'm curious though."

"You want to know if I've ever tried to use it on you?"

"Yes."

He took a deep breath before he nodded and started to explain. "I knew that you saw Edward push the van away from you. I also knew that you could expose us if you discovered what we are and found evidence. That night, I came to your home and waited until you fell asleep. I snuck into your room and tried to hypnotize you into believing you had seen things. At first, I thought it had worked. I quickly realized that it hadn't. Just as you are immune to Edward's, Aro's, and Jane's, you are immune to mine as well."

I nodded and saw that he was ashamed of what he had tried to do. I couldn't bear to see him like that.

"I don't blame you for trying. I would have done the same thing. You were protecting your family. You don't ever have to apologize for that."

"Thank you Bella."

I took a steading breath before saying what I was planning to say. "No problem. Now Edward, I want an explanation. It's obvious that you didn't leave because you didn't love me anymore and wanted to chase after distractions. So why did you leave and why did you lie to me? You owe me an answer to that at least."

He now had a pained expression on his face. Slowly, he began to give me my answers.

"I was scared after what happened on your birthday. It was Jasper then, but what if I went after you next time? I was putting you in danger by being around you and letting you be around my family. I've moved for everyone else's mistakes, so I used their guilt to talk Jasper and Emmett into leaving. I threatened to go on my own, and that convinced Esme. Rosalie was surprisingly difficult to convince, but after I mentioned that she was all for killing you before, she went along with it. Alice goes wherever Jasper does, although I had to beg her not to contact you or look for you. Carlisle took the longest to convince. I didn't have anything to use to guilt or threaten him with to talk him into leaving. He and Esme aren't mates, so he could choose to leave her if he wanted. It took over ten hours of all out arguing and scanning his thoughts to find a way to convince him. I lied to him and told him the real reason I wanted to leave was because you decided in the car that you didn't want to be around vampires anymore. After another hour and a half, he believed me. Once he saw you again, it took all of five seconds to realize I had lied. I did it to make you safe and give you the chance at a normal human life."

I saw red. Who was he to make those kind of decisions for me? The fact that Carlisle fought so hard to stay meant me to than words could express, but I was almost shaking in rage. All of it directed toward Edward.

"You had no right to make those decisions for me. I knew the risk, and I was willing to deal with it. As for a normal human life, I don't want it. I don't think I ever have. I just didn't have another option until I met you and your family. You not only removed your family from my life when you left, but my future as well. You had no damn right to make those decisions for me."

Carlisle and Edward just stared at me for a moment, until I realized why anyways.

"I've been spending a lot of time with teenage boys who happen to be werewolves. I was bound to pick up at least one of their bad habits."

Nakhara just laughed.

* * *

Hello! Thanks for the reviews. The more detailed, the better! Reading a review, I realized I may not have been clear on something. Sangre is a term that refers to a vampire's human mate. For example, Emmett was Rosalie's Sangre, even if he was dying when they met. He was still human. Rosalie can't be Emmett's Sangre. She was a vampire when she met her mate. Does that make sense? Sorry about that. I think it sounded better in my head when I wrote it. If you've seen the Phantom of the Opera, the movie, not the play, then you know what the staircase looks like. Just add really thin, wobbly metal railing and doors along the wall and you have it. Also, I took the family tree idea out of The Queen of the Damned as well. I just bought the New Moon soundtrack. It's awesome. I also wrote the chapter where Carlisle and Bella admit their feelings while I was writing this. I got stuck on this a few times and needed a break. With how things are going, it'll be at least chapter 15. I'm actually planning on it being somewhere around chapter 19. There will be at least another chapter after that, but from that point I don't know where this is going. I'm playing with a few ideas though. We have awhile to go though. With how long these chapters end up, I just can't see this being as long as If You Pull the Trigger or Bound in Blood. Both are amazing Twilight fanfiction stories. If You Pull the Trigger is around 40 chapters at the moment. Bound in Blood is over 90 chapters the last time I checked. They're short chapters though. Not the 5000 monster chapters I write. I think. I haven't checked, but I think at least Bound in Blood's are shorter.

I stayed with my aunt and uncle from last Tuesday to this past Sunday, and I'm glad to be home. Then I have a whole week by myself in my dorm. I should get at least one more chapter after this before school starts on the 10th. I love college. My high school only gave us about 10 days of Winter Break. And snow days came out of Spring Break. Not in college though. I'm just adding onto this author's note as I write this chapter. I do that with the others as well. I hate getting stuck. Rihanna's new cd, Loud, is really cool. If any of you want to take me up on it, I will send you my playlists for each chapter if you review and that review is at least two sentences long. I love all my reviews, but I enjoy the detailed ones more. Just like you guys enjoy my 4500 word chapters a lot more than you would if I cut off each chapter at 1000 words. I don't even want to think about how many chapters that would be. The chapter where they admit their feelings and the lemon that follows those admissions is over 3800 words without the author's note. As far as lemons go, I rated this story M for a reason. I planned it that way from the beginning. While Stephanie Meyer is Mormon and all that, I'm most definitely not. Even if I do live in Utah. I'm really sorry I'm rambling. I must be lonelier than I thought I was.


	10. Chapter 10: Home Again

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 10 – Home Again

* * *

_I saw red. Who was he to make those kind of decisions for me? The fact that Carlisle fought so hard to stay meant me to than words could express, but I was almost shaking in rage. All of it directed toward Edward._

"_You had no right to make those decisions for me. I knew the risk, and I was willing to deal with it. As for a normal human life, I don't want it. I don't think I ever have. I just didn't have another option until I met you and your family. You not only removed your family from my life when you left, but my future as well. You had no damn right to make those decisions for me."_

_Carlisle and Edward just stared at me for a moment, until I realized why anyways._

"_I've been spending a lot of time with teenage boys who happen to be werewolves. I was bound to pick up at least one of their bad habits."_

_Nakhara just laughed._

I smiled at her response and turned back to Edward, still pissed off at him. "I get why you did it, but you still had no right to make those decisions for me. I knew what could happen to me, but I loved you guys enough to take the risk. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not the girl you left either. A lot of who I am is the same, but I've changed. Someday we can be friends, but you have to earn my trust back and I'm not going to make it easy."

Edward looked at me for a second before he nodded in understanding. The dark road was the hardest part; the bright lights at the airport in Florence made it easier, as did the chance to brush my teeth and change into clean clothes; Carlisle bought Edward new clothes, too, and he left the dark cloak on a pile of trash in an alley. The plane trip to Rome was so short that there wasn't really a chance for the fatigue to drag me under. I knew the flight from Rome to Atlanta would be another matter entirely, so I asked the flight attendant if she could bring me a Coke. Edward, remembering my low tolerance for caffeine, was pinching the bridge like he always did, but wisely kept his mouth shut. I could tell he was trying.

Carlisle was behind us. I could hear him murmuring to Esme on the phone. Nakhara leaned in and whispered in my ear that I should sleep.

"I don't want to sleep," I reminded her. She didn't argue with me after that.

I won the fight against my heavy lids. I was awake when we reached the airport in Atlanta, and I even watched the sun beginning to rise over Seattle's cloud cover before Edward slid the window shut. I was proud of myself. I hadn't missed one minute.

None of them were surprised by the reception that waited for us at Sea-Tac airport, but it caught me off guard. Carlisle put his arm around me to help me remain standing as he led me towards the rest of the family, Edward and Nakhara right behind us.

Esme waited in a quiet corner far from the line for the metal detectors, in the shadow of a wide pillar. Esme reached for me, hugging me fiercely, yet awkwardly, because Carlisle kept his arms around me, too.

"Thank you so much," she said in my ear.

Then she threw her arms around Edward, and she looked like she would be crying if that were possible.

"You will _never _put me through that again," she nearly growled.

Edward grinned, repentant. "Sorry, Mom."

The sleepless night was suddenly overpowering. My head felt disconnected from my body.

"She's dead on her feet," Esme scolded Carlisle. "Let's get her home."

"I will meet you later Carlisle. I have something to take care of first." Nakhara told him as she disappeared.

Not sure if home was what I wanted at this point, I stumbled, half-blind, through the airport, Carlisle dragging me on one side and Esme on the other. I didn't know if Edward was behind us or not, and I was too exhausted to look.

I think I was mostly asleep, though I was still walking, when we reached their car. The surprise of seeing Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper leaning against the black sedan under the dim lights of the parking garage revived me some. Edward stiffened behind us.

"Don't," Esme whispered. "She feels awful."

"She should," Edward said, making no attempt to keep his voice down.

"It's not her fault," I said, my words garbled with exhaustion.

"Let her make amends," Esme pleaded. "We'll ride with Alice and Jasper."

Edward glowered at the absurdly lovely blond vampire waiting for us.

"Please, Edward," I said. I didn't want to ride with Rosalie any more than he seemed to, but I'd caused more than enough discord in his family.

He sighed, took me from Carlisle's arms, and towed me toward the car.

Emmett and Rosalie got in the front seat without speaking, while Edward pulled me in the back again. I knew I wasn't going to be able to fight my eyelids anymore, and I laid my head against his chest in defeat, letting them close. I felt the car purr to life.

"Edward," Rosalie began.

"I know." Edward's brusque tone was not generous.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked softly.

My eyelids fluttered open in shock. It was the first time she'd ever spoken directly to me.

"Yes, Rosalie?" I asked, hesitant.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to go save my brother after what I did. Please say you'll forgive me."

The words were awkward, stilted because of her embarrassment, but they seemed sincere.

"Of course, Rosalie," I mumbled, grasping at any chance to make her hate me a little less. "It's not your fault at all. I'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. Of course I forgive you."

The words came out like mush.

"It doesn't count until she's conscious, Rose," Emmett chuckled.

"I'm conscious," I said; it just sounded like a garbled sigh.

"Let her sleep," Edward insisted, but his voice was a little warmer.

It was quiet then, except for the gentle thrum of the engine. I must have fallen asleep, because it seemed like seconds later when the door opened and Edward was carrying me from the car, handing me to Carlisle again. My eyes wouldn't open. At first I thought we were still at the airport.

And then I heard Charlie.

"Bella!" he shouted from some distance.

"Charlie," I mumbled, trying to shake off the stupor.

"Shh," Carlisle whispered. "It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep."

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here." Charlie bellowed at Edward, his voice much closer now.

"Stop it, Dad," I groaned. He didn't hear me.

"What's wrong with her?" Charlie demanded.

"She's just very tired, Charlie. She refused to sleep on the plane back." Carlisle assured him quietly. "Please let her rest."

We were in front of my house. The front door was standing open. The cloud cover overhead was too thick to guess at a time of day.

His words seemed to make Charlie back off. "You can go ahead and put her upstairs in her room." Carlisle nodded and slowly carried me up the stairs into my room. The last thing I noticed before sleep overtook me was Carlisle's hands leaving my back and knees as he laid me on the bed.

* * *

Hello! Thanks for the reviews. I know it's a shorter chapter, but I really just wanted to get the plot moving. A review I got made me realize that the story was dragging a little bit. When I started, this was supposed to be chapter 6 or 7. Obviously it didn't turn out that way. The confrontation with the Cullens starts in the next chapter. I'm not going to say how long that will take, but it will probably be at least 1 chapter. I'm hoping it doesn't carry on beyond the next 2 chapters, but I don't know. After that, she confronts Jacob and we see his reaction. I just realized this story will be a lot longer than I was planning it to be. At this point, the chapter where Bella and Carlisle admit their feelings will probably be chapter 25 to 30. Thank goodness I already have that written. I'd be completely lost otherwise. I'll be lucky to post a chapter every 2 weeks once classes start on the 10th. My goal is to get at least one more chapter out before then, but we'll see how it goes. As always, SM owns Twilight. I don't.


	11. Chapter 11: Midnight Assurances

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 11 – Midnight Assurances

* * *

_"She's just very tired, Charlie. She refused to sleep on the plane back." Carlisle assured him quietly. "Please let her rest."_

_We were in front of my house. The front door was standing open. The cloud cover overhead was too thick to guess at a time of day._

_His words seemed to make Charlie back off. "You can go ahead and put her upstairs in her room." Carlisle nodded and slowly carried me up the stairs into my room. The last thing I noticed before sleep overtook me was Carlisle's hands leaving my back and knees as he laid me on the bed._

I had the sense that I'd been asleep for a very long time–my body was stiff, like I hadn't moved once through all that time, either. My mind was dazed and slow; strange, colorful dreams–dreams and nightmares–swirled dizzily around the inside of my head. They were so vivid. The horrible and the heavenly, all mixed together into a bizarre jumble. There was sharp impatience and fear, both part of that frustrating dream where your feet can't move fast enough…

And there were plenty of monsters, red-eyed fiends that were all the more ghastly for their genteel civility. The dream was still strong–I could even remember the names. But the strongest, clearest part of the dream was not the horror. It was the angel that was most clear.

It was hard to let him go and wake up. This dream did not want to be shoved away into the vault of dreams I refused to revisit. I struggled with it as my mind became more alert, focusing on reality. I couldn't remember what day of the week it was, but I was sure Jacob or school or work or something was waiting for me. I inhaled deeply, wondering how to face another day.

Something cold touched my forehead with the softest pressure.

I squeezed my eyes more tightly shut. I was still dreaming, it seemed, and it felt abnormally real. I was so close to waking… any second now, and it would be gone. But I realized that it felt too real, too real to be good for me. The stone arms I imagined wrapped around me were far too substantial. If I let this go any further, I'd be sorry for it later. With a resigned sigh, I wrenched back my eyelids to dispel the illusion.

"Oh!" I gasped, and threw my fists over my eyes.

Well, clearly, I'd gone too far; it must have been a mistake to let my imagination get so out of hand. Okay, so "let" was the wrong word. I'd _forced _it to get out of hand–pretty much stalked my hallucinations–and now my mind had snapped.

It took less than half a second for me to realize that, as long as I was truly insane now, I might as well enjoy the delusions while they were pleasant.

I opened my eyes again–and Carlisle was still there, his perfect face just inches away from mine.

"Did I frighten you?" His low voice was anxious. This was very good, as delusions went.

I blinked twice, desperately trying to remember the last thing that I was sure was real. Edward was part of my dream.

"Oh, _crap" _I croaked. My throat was thick with sleeping.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

I frowned at him unhappily. His face was even more anxious than before.

"I'm dead, right?" I moaned. "I _did drown_. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."

Carlisle frowned, too. "You're not dead."

"Then why am I not waking up?" I challenged, raising my eyebrows.

"You _are _awake, Bella."

I shook my head. "Sure, sure. That's what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. _If _I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake…" I trailed off in horror at what I had done.

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare." His short-lived smile was grim. "But I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell."

I grimaced. "If I was in hell, you wouldn't be with me."

He sighed.

My head was getting clearer. My eyes flickered away from his face–unwillingly–for one second, to the dark, open window, and then back to him. I started to remember details… and I felt a faint, unfamiliar blush warm the skin over my cheekbones as I slowly realized that Carlisle was really, truly here with me, and I was wasting time being an idiot.

"Did all of that really happen, then?" It was almost impossible to reassign my dream as reality. I couldn't wrap my head around the concept.

"Yes. How much of our time in Italy do you remember?" Carlisle's smile was still hard.

"How strange," I mused. "I really went to Italy. Did you know I'd never been farther east than Albuquerque?"

"Maybe you should go back to sleep. You're not coherent."

"I'm not tired anymore." It was all coming clear now. "What time is it? How long have I been sleeping?"

"It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours."

I stretched as he spoke. I was so stiff.

"Charlie?" I asked.

"Sleeping. Nakhara would have been here, but she is not back from whatever she had to do. I guessed that you wouldn't want Edward here, and Charlie banned him from your house. I didn't want you to wake up alone either, so I came in through the window. I can leave if you like."

"Charlie banned him from the house?" I asked, disbelief quickly melting into fury.

His eyes were sad. "Did you expect anything else?"

I sat there for a moment, letting all of it sink in. After a moment, Carlisle started speaking again.

"I–" He took a deep breath. "I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know,"–the words began to flow so fast that I really had to concentrate to catch them all–"that I had no idea. I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here. So safe. Please know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for–"

"Stop," I interrupted him.

He had stopped talking, but now he was staring at me. I took a deep breath and started to set him straight.

"I don't blame you for this. In fact, it means a lot to me that you were the last to give in. You have nothing to apologize for. Edward is the one that needs to be acting like this, not you. He lied to you."

Carlisle sat still for a few minutes, processing what I had said. I took the silence and used it to really observe him for the first time. I had noticed vague details in passing before, but now I was committing each detail of him to memory.

His hair was a light, cool blonde and unlike any hair color I had ever seen. Like most vampires, Carlisle was paler than any human and had this otherworldly grace and beauty to him, even more so than the rest of the Cullens'. After meeting Nakhara, I now knew his age was the reason why. The features of his face were perfectly symmetrical, with a strong jaw and defined chin. My eyes moved down his body. He was wearing his usual light blue button shirt and black slacks. The material stretched over his body, hinting at what I knew would be perfect, lean muscle beneath. With his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, I could barely see his defined forearms in the semi darkness. I raised my eyes back up. Carlisle had gathered his thoughts and spoke.

"Thank you Bella. I know I've said this before, but you are very gracious, especially about my family and I. Although I suppose that now we know why you are so accepting of us. If you ever want or need to talk about anything, I will be here. I don't plan on leaving you again unless you tell me to."

I looked into his eyes and could almost feel the honesty pouring off of him. His eyes were back to their normal golden hue. That specific shade of gold reminded me of the color the sun was in the moments before it set. He was a golden Adonis in every sense of the word. Realizing I had been staring, I quickly answered him.

"Thanks Carlisle. I can tell you mean it and your concern for me means a lot to me. Now, I need to talk to the rest of your family. Would you mind taking me?"

It was so very quiet and dark as he ran through the forest, his breathing slow and even–dark enough that the trees flying past us were nearly invisible, and only the rush of air in my face truly gave away our speed. The air was damp; it didn't burn my eyes the way the wind in the big plaza had, and that was comforting. As was the night, too, after that terrifying brightness. Like the thick quilt I'd played under as a child, the dark felt familiar and protecting.

I remembered that running through the forest like this used to frighten me, that I used to have to close my eyes. It seemed a silly reaction to me now. I kept my eyes wide, my chin resting on his shoulder, my cheek against his neck. The speed was exhilarating. A hundred times better than the motorcycle. A question popped into my head as Carlisle was running with me on his back.

"Why did you meet us at the car?" I was curious about that. What did he want to say to Edward that he couldn't say in front of me?

He hesitated for just a second before answering. "I went to help Jane put Edward back together. I thought he deserved to be brought home in pieces for what he has said and done to you, but I realized that it might upset you."

I was silent for a moment before speaking. "So that's why Nakhara said she needed to talk to Marcus?"

"She actually did speak to Marcus, but forgot to mention the part where she took Edward's limbs off. He was lucky she didn't take out his tongue. She has killed for less than that in past."

I fell silent. I really didn't have anything to say.

"You seem anxious. Is there anything I can do?" Carlisle asked me after a few moments.

"Not really. You know, I forgot how much fun this was. Much better than any cliff dive."

"Thank you," he said, as the vague, black shapes of trees raced past us. "Does that mean you've decided you're awake?"

I laughed. The sound was easy, natural, effortless. It sounded _right_. "Not really. More that, either way, I'm not trying to wake up. Not tonight."

"I'll earn your trust back somehow," he murmured, mostly to himself. "If it's my final act."

"I trust _you_," I assured him. "It's me I don't trust."

"Explain that, please."

He'd slowed to a walk–I could only tell because the wind ceased–and I guessed that we weren't far from the house. In fact, I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in the darkness.

"Well–" I struggled to find the right way to phrase it. "I don't trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you or your family. There's nothing about me that could hold you."

Carlisle stopped and reached around to pull me from his back. His gentle hands did not release me; after he'd set me on my feet again, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, hugging me to his chest.

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable," he whispered. "Never doubt that."

But how could I not?

* * *

Howdy! Thanks for the reviews. Now I know I said that if I got a review that was two sentences long I'd give that person the playlist for that chapter, but I really can't do that. Most of the time I just listen to internet radio. The only reason I could do it for the past couple chapters was because most of the writing was done away from the internet access. I know that this chapter is also shorter, but I wanted to post this chapter and not keep you waiting for another few weeks. I also wanted to end it here.


	12. Chapter 12: Conversations

The World in a Grain of Sand

Chapter 12 – Conversations

* * *

_"I trust __you__," I assured him. "It's me I don't trust."_

_"Explain that, please."_

_He'd slowed to a walk–I could only tell because the wind ceased–and I guessed that we weren't far from the house. In fact, I thought I could make out the sound of the river rushing somewhere close by in the darkness._

_"Well–" I struggled to find the right way to phrase it. "I don't trust myself to be… enough. To deserve you or your family. There's nothing about me that could hold you."_

_He stopped and reached around to pull me from his back. His gentle hands did not release me; after he'd set me on my feet again, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, hugging me to his chest._

_"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable," he whispered. "Never doubt that."_

_But how could I not?_

He led me through the open front door into the dark house and flipped the lights on. The room was just as I'd remembered it–the piano and the white couches and the pale, massive staircase. No dust, no white sheets.

Carlisle called out the names with no more volume than I'd use in regular conversation.

"Edward? Esme? Rosalie? Emmett? Jasper? Alice?" They would hear.

Jasper was suddenly standing beside me, as if he'd been there all along. "Welcome back, Bella." He smiled. "What can we do for you this morning? I imagine, due to the hour, that this is not a purely social visit?"

I nodded. "I'd like to talk to everyone at once, if that's okay."

"Why don't we talk in the other room?" Carlisle said.

Carlisle led the way through the bright living room, around the corner to the dining room, turning on lights as he went. The walls were white, the ceilings high, like the living room. In the center of the room, under the low-hanging chandelier, was a large, polished oval table surrounded by eight chairs. Carlisle held out a chair for me at the head. I'd never seen the Cullens use the dining room table before–it was just a prop. They didn't eat in the house.

As soon as I turned to sit in the chair, I saw that we were not alone. Jasper had followed Carlisle, and behind him the rest of the family filed in. Except Esme. Carlisle sat down on my right and Edward on my left. Esme came in into the room a minute later. She looked very sad. Taking a breath, she spoke to Carlisle.

"Why did you never tell me?"

"It was too painful. I tried to forget, but the most I could do was not think of it. I am sorry."

* * *

Hey. I know I haven't updated in forever. I'm sorry. I lost inspiration for Twilight fanfiction in general. I figured that a few hundred words was better than nothing at all. RL sucks. I don't know when I'll update again. I'm planning on doing not one, but three big bangs. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a fanfiction challenge of sorts over on LJ.

For example: I'm signed up to do the vampire big bang. I have to write a 10,000 word fic with a vampire as a main character. With this one, you can pick and fandom you want and can turn any character you want into a vampire. After you write a rough draft, an artist will sign up and claim your fic. They'll then create the art for your fic. It can be a playlist to go with the fic, a video, ect. The only catch is you have to submit a complete fic and can't post it before your assigned posting date. I'm signed up for 2 more of these. The second one is a big bang devoted solely to Star Trek that requires 20k. The last one is specifically for the horror genre & is 10k min. Here are the dates, so you have an idea of exactly how crazy I am.

I will try to get a chapter up somewhere in all this chaos. Especially since I'm planning on using my horror big bang for National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo. That lovely event is where you write a 50k original fiction novel in 30 days. From Nov. 1st to 30th. I'll also be do art for all of these big bangs and Classic Star Trek Big Bang. This author's note is the same length as the chapter.

**Horror Big Bang**

**+ Author sign-ups open May 16th  
+ Author sign ups close on June 20th  
+ Mixer/Artist sign-ups open June 21st  
+ Draft and summaries due October 1st  
+ Claining for Artists/Mixers opens October 2nd  
+ Final drafts due October 31st  
+ Posting begins November 5th**

**Star Trek Big Bang**

**May 15th - Sign Ups Open  
June 1st - Author Sign Ups Close  
September 1st - Artist/Mixer Sign Ups close + Fic Rough Drafts Due  
September 3rd - Artist/Mixer Claims Open  
October 10th - Art/Mix Rough Drafts Due  
October 15th - Big Bang Posting Begins!  
November 15th - End of Big Bang Posting**

**Vampire Big Bang**

**Author sign-ups start – April 17th, 2011  
Author sign-ups end - June 20th, 2011  
Checkpoint #1 – May 7th, 2011  
Checkpoint #2 – June 11th, 2011  
Checkpoint #3 – July 16th, 2011  
Rough Drafts due – August 1st, 2011  
Author/Artists Claiming Opens – August 6th, 2011  
Final Fic and Art Due – September 23rd, 2011  
Posting Starts – October 1st, 2011  
**


End file.
